[JRockSoldier]

I left here a long time ago...I lost the drive to lose weight...I want to lose weight so badly but I lost my motivation.

After coming here I lost weight, I did...nearly 30 pounds, but now I've gained it all back. I fell off the wagon, gave up, but I want to find it again.

I've been in an abusive relationship for the past two years, I finally got away but I'm so depressed. I cry every night, I can't sleep, and I'm eating to make myself feel better. I'm so angry at myself, for falling off the wagon, for dating a jerk for two years and telling myself he didn't mean it. I'm so angry and sad.

I'm sorry I ran away for so long. I'm back now, and I want to try really, really hard to stay and to work out. My little sister has agreed to go to the gym with me 3 times a week; but I haven't come out of my depression, and haven't gone to the gym yet.

Ladies I feel really lost. It's not him I miss...but the feeling of some one loving me (even if it wasn't real.)

[daisy5819]

I completely understand. I was in an abusive relationship for 8 years and just recently got out of it in January.I started going to therapy and working on liking/accepting myself. Do you have a close group of friends that you can talk to through your depression?

Have you tried journaling? It really worked for me. Also, I did the c25k. It was good to set a goal, that had nothing to do with weight (it did have its benefits), and have me achieve it. It's a long process when you end an abusive relationship. But everyday you work on building yourself back. Let me know if you need someone to talk to.

[bargoo]

Welcome back. and congratulations on the desire to improve your life. You can do this, it takes time to get over a broken relationship even if he is a jerk. Focus on the positives, you have a whole new life in front of you. You are fortunate that your sister will go the the gym with you. I know that lost, sad feeling, but it does get better. Take one day at a time and just work on making yourself healthy. I believe you can do it. Coming here is a giant step forward. Good luck !

[JRockSoldier]

thank you both for the kind words

I've been kicking myself telling myself I'm not worth it, I know it's not true but it's hard. Thanks a lot, I'm going to try and talk to a few of my friends about it