So, I've been doing this healthy eating- working out thing for years now.
I guess my weight loss is becoming more noticeable because just today my sister looked at me said "Wow, you look like you've lost a lot of weight. Like, look at your face"
And today we went to go see a movie and my sisters friend saw me after a month and said "Did you lose more weight?" and she looked at me after hugging me and I just sorta shrugged. It felt good inside that my weight loss was becoming noticeable. My sister and her friend went to the supermarket to get snacks for the movies. I stayed behind with my brother and saved hem seats till they got back. Then...........
after the movie was done, my sister told me what her friend told her when they were at the supermarket. She said I looked like I lost a ton of weight and my face looked sunken it, and that I looked tired and asked my sister if I was doing ok and said I shouldn't lose anymore weight because I looked fine now, actually not healthy.
Hearing this made me upset and confused because my sister agreed and said I should stop being so hard core and watching every little thing I eat and stuff when I told her I have to do it for my health. She explained how I looked perfectly fine but then I went on explaining how looking fine isn't being fine, on the inside. I told her my BMI was high and that I was considered overweight so that's why I was still doing it, so that I could be in the "Normal" category. Still, she said I should stop because of the above reasons.
So, what I'm saying is......my main concern to lose weight is to be HEALTHY and she said I don't look healthy? actually look tired and my face looks smaller and stuff. What I really wanted to do is to lose weight from my stomach but that doesn't seem to be happening ....I'm losing weight from my face mostly and my shoulder area when those were never even my big concerns. I want to lose weight from my stomach because I Know thats where I carry most of my fat/weight.
I dunno what to do. It's all dumb and confusing.
I wish I could target to lose weight from one part of my body...
I tend to take what people say with a grain of salt . . .
Sometimes people think we look "too thin" because they are not used to the new us. Sometimes its jealousy or they are just uncomfortable that we are not who they are comfortable with us being. And other times its just an opinion, like all opinions, they shouldnt matter more than your own
If you are happy with your progress and feel happy and healthy that is the main thing.
Last edited by Madison; 07-19-2009 at 01:36 AM.
Reason: typo
It always goes off of my face first. Which I like, because I'm always taking pictures of my face (photographer and narcissist, what can you do?). But that means it's working. Think about it this way: Your face has shrunk enough for people to notice, now your body has to move on. To your body. And if it's noticable in the face, it'll be noticable everywhere else. Just takes a little extra time. Boo.
You're going to lose weight where your body wants to lose weight first. There will be parts of you that will refuse to shrink at all until the fat is gone in other places first.
Your reasoning is not flawed. Keep doing what you are doing for your own health. Your sister and her friend are not capable of enjoying your health, when you feel good. Don't let their commentary rob you of enjoying your success.
You are right. In the long term, it could well be that after a few months your weight re-distributes itself and your face looks less thing (if it does).
When I got to 136, people told me I looked gaunt and one friend tells me this time to be careful not to go too far again. At 136 I was just, only just a normal bmi, one more ounce would have tipped me over, there is no way I was gaunt - but it takes people a while to get used to a new-look you if, like me, your face has been totally encased in fat for years.
To play devils advocate here a little. You are trying to be "normal". There is no such thing and don't let numbers decide if you are "normal" or not. Maybe you should take a step back, ignore numbers for a minute, and consider what your sister said. Maybe your sisters is seeing through colored glasses and you aren't as thin as she suspects. It could also be possible that your vision is colored by not being "normal" and you really are getting too thin. Just some food for thought, pun intended.
I always lose from my face/boobs first, and then it starts coming off of my stomach. Maybe it will "re-distribute" but maybe they aren't used to seeing you this thin?
That being said, I hate the BMI measurement - it does NOT take into account muscle mass and many other things (ie our womanly blessings). In order to be a health BMI I'd have to be between 122 and 146. I know from past experience that I look HORRIBLE at 150, so I can't even imagine what I'd look like at 146 or 130 for that matter, so I kind of ignore the whole BMI thing.
If you feel happy and healthy with the course you're going, then don't listen to them
I personally, have gotten so hung up on comments from other people. Last summer I was down to 215.. wanting to lose atleast 40 more and I joined a gym for a trial month with a friend who told me ' I must be near my goal weight now' not at all!! But after a year, I was sick of wearing clothing that made me look like a slob because it was too baggy and I went out and maxed my visa out on a new professional wardrobe when I started a new job.
I've gained 5 pounds since then, instead of losing more weight. Hopefully I'm finally in a place where my actually overweight (but never morbidly obese)'s friends words dont stick with me anymore.
One of the oldies around 3fc has mentioned weight loss is a lot like taking sheets off a paper towel roll. It becomes more noticable all over your body as you continue - you've got to wait it out, but it will happen if you're working hard! I'm counting on this analogy
It's annoying when people feel compelled to repeat unflattering remarks that others make about us! I would keep doing what feels healthy to you. If your doctor starts to tell you that your weight is too low or you look unhealthy/gaunt, then it's time to pay heed. I'm guessing that people are just not accustomed to seeing your cheekbones and your newly-slim features and it'll take a little while for them to get used to the new you.
Having said that, there was a time when a friend of mine was in serious weight-loss mode and she lost too much. She did look very thin, gaunt, and almost skeletal. Fortunately, she found it too difficult to maintain her artificially low weight and stabilized at a more healthy (but still very slim and trim) weight. I didn't say anything about (what I considered to be) her "gaunt" appearance; after all, there is probably nothing more annoying than a chunky friend or relative telling a slim person that they look gaunt!
Hmm. Everyone is different body-wise, but you and I are about the same height, and more or less the same weight, give or take a few pounds... and I still have some fat on me. I'm not a BIG GIRL by any means, but I still have rolls of chubbiness around my tummy and hips and thighs, despite the weight I've lost.
My point being...that even we have different frames... we're still probably fairly close size-wise... and I am NOT unhealthily thin. And as a result, I doubt you are either, and I seriously doubt you look GAUNT! You're gaining cheekbones. That's not gaunt.
This is gaunt:
I agree whole-heartedly when people say that sometimes people just need to get used to the new you when they haven't seen you for a while and you've lost a good amount of weight. I moved to Ireland for 5 months and when I came back, my mom and brother combined had lost about 100 lbs. I was SHOCKED, and when I first saw them both, I was very... wary of how thin they had suddenly become.
But once I got used to the "new them," it became normal. Clearly neither is skeletally thin (lol, that's so not a word), it was just surprising to come home to someone who didn't look like the person in my memories!
I also find that some people feel like it's their responsibility to tell you when you should stop losing weight, because they've decided you look good enough.
While that may come from a place of genuine concern for your health if they think your behaviour is leading to an eating disorder... it's not up to them to decide what a good, healthy weight is for you. You've chosen a goal of 140 which sounds great for your height, and not at all unhealthy.
When I hear comments like that I just nod and smile, and let their opinions roll off my back.
I agree! It is like a lose lose situation! If we remain overweight people talk about us, and then when we lose weight they still have something negative to say!
Sunken face but no shrinking waist?
