[carcar05]

So you don't read the whole thing if you aren't interested- this is about how I am a young mama ready to add another baby to the family but the rest of my life isn't ready for that to happen yet. And it's bumming me out.

So basically, I'm happily married, we have a little 21 month old girl. I wanted to have 3-4 kids and I wanted them closer in age, like less than 3 years apart but not closer than 2 years apart. Well, according to "plan", we should start trying to get pregnant again soon. And I am ready to start trying!! I'm excited to have another baby, I have the baby fever! But there are some obstacles standing in my way.

1) my weight. I just can't imagine getting pregnant at this weight- it would mean (based on my last pregnancy) seeing over 200lbs on the scale during the pregnancy and based on how I lost weight after this last pregnancy, well, I'd likely STAY over 200 lbs after the baby arrived. I have had a hard time losing the baby weight.

2) finances. I am the breadwinner for our family right now- that wasn't the plan, but that's how it's turned out (damn economy, america!). It's great that I can feed the family with my business, so I'm certainly not complaining about that aspect. But because of our financial situation right now, we dont' have very good insurance and it doesn't cover maternity. We don't want to go on Medicaid or state health plan, and I doubt we qualify anyway. My husband is trying to find work to no avail- he even has a bachelors degree and is having a hard time finding work right now. So I worry that getting pregnant would make it harder for me to provide the financial needs for our family, and having a newborn that I'd really want to attend to as much as possible would also mean less time spent on the business. This is one reason that I really hate, because I do feel that finances are very important consideration but to be fair when we had our little girl we really had nothing- we were both in college and skirting by on next to nothing- and it all worked out. ??

I just feel frustrated. I feel like I'm holding myself back from what I really want- by being overweight I'm not comfortable having another baby yet. And the financial situation- well, that just sucks no matter what the plan was.

Just had to vent.

[Kimmie1989]

Sometimes life doesn't go according to plan. I'd recommend at least sorting out the financial situation.. and of course you can continue your weight loss efforts too. Don't get pregnant now just because of a plan you put together a while ago... Better to be pregnant and feeling secure rather than pregnant and struggling!

[morninggloria]

It's still going to happen-just not as quickly as you hoped! You're already being a great mom to your future son or daughter by making sacrifices to ensure they're born into the best environment possible. Don't let it get you down.

[FatGirlTale]

Money shouldn't be the only reason you don't have a baby. However, you've got several things going on.

The insurance thing is scary.

For me, I want to lost weight before my first pregnancy so I can have a healthy pregnancy. I heard from a doctor who has delivered over 2000 babies that overweight women are more likely to tear - and that has been my motivation. I don't want any tearing!!

[CandyKisses0204]

I think if you want the baby then try. If you wait till you are financially stable or where you want to be that time will never come. My sister in law has 3 kids and is working on a 4th. She only works 2 hours a day and her hubby makes okay money. They always tell me that when im ready for a kid then just do it because you will always find a way. I agree if you plan and keep holding off then the 'right' time may never come.

[fashinjunkie09]

i have to agree with the above posters, maybe just try to get the financial things in order first (esp the insurance) and while you are doing that, you can continue your weight loss efforts. imho, that is a win-win situation bc you will still have more babies, maybe just not as soon as you thought and you know you will be healthy and not stressed (which can cause major problems during pregnancy). also, i know you said you had your first when you practically had nothing but consider this, almost every single mother i know has said that going from one to two children has been the hardest transition. not 0 to 1 or 2 to 3, but from 1 to 2 bc you have never had to take care of more than 1 at a time and it just takes a lot out of you! i am a mother to an almost 9 month old baby boy and he was totally unplanned and everything has worked out perfectly, so i know where you are coming from. but believe me everyone in this situation will benefit if you are more prepared the second time around. but, regardless of what you decide to do, i wish you the best of luck with everything and i'm sure it will all work out in the end! there is a saying i heard once that i love and it says "do you want to hear god laugh? tell him you have a plan." everything will work out and happen in it's own time, i am sure of it.

[rachiebach]

If you're having reservations about trying for a baby, then you should probably wait on it. Yeah it stinks, but at the same time, you'll just end up really upset and possibly resenting your hubby if you do have a baby and can't stay home with it as much/long as you have to because you are the primary breadwinner and your family needs the money to live on. You're young and have lots of time to add to your family! Unfortunately life doesn't always go the way we planned, but I know plenty of people with siblings much younger then them and they wouldn't have it any other way!

So keep your head up, keep motivated, and hopefully good things will happen (like the economy turning around so your hubby can get an awesome job!). Focus on yourself right now and take care of your body so when you are ready to have a baby, you'll have a happy, healthy pregnancy!