[Steffi]

Ok People.....

I love this board and the loving feedback I get.. so I come to you all again.. maybe new people to let this all out on..

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I have been trying to lose weight for sooooo freaking long now. It seem when I get started and get to size 18 and under 200 pounds something happens and I slow down.. and then I fall off the bandwagon and I fail and eat and eat and eat and then I go back to size 24 and 235 pounds.. GRRRRRRR

I am sooo angry because I thought I had a major breakthrough.. I thought I don't go to food for emotional fufillment
I do though.. I had a dream I went to a 'fat camp' that my mom paid for... I wasn't sure if it was a 1 week camp or a 4 week camp.. and what was weird is that I am married and 27 years and I have a good relationship with my parents, but not one where my mom would do that.. but still.....

I am sooo fustrated. I remember in the dream thinking how I was emotionally in need of food and I realized.. I am not over the food obstical yet. WHY WHY WHY

I sit and I get upset and angry that I can't just say "FORGET YOU" to food. Okey a bit harsher words I would say because I am angry enough.. but still.. you get the picture.

I need help.. I am sooo insane over this situation that I am ready to find some funny food farm .. no not ones with jello but a place that takes me out of life.. that is like some drug rehab center and lets me really work through my problems with food. A place I can not get food just because. A place where I can have 24/7 therapy to just get over this problem and put in happy solutions. I am at my wits end. I see this cycle about me.
I do good for a while.. then I get tired of the whole .. watching weight and what you eat... then I get fustrated and eat.. then I get scared of food to the point I don't know what to do, and EVERY piece of food I put in my mouth scares me.. but I know not eating is not the answer... so I continue to eat. I get hungry all the time and I get all paniky and I want someone to save me from this **** that I am living in.
But then when someone helps me.. namely my husband, I yell at him that he is horrid for keeping me from eating food. I get scared he will give me 1 carrot stick and that's it. He is not that great on making 'good' food. He is good at giving me bad food but just a tidbit on it grrrrr
FUSTRATING!!!!!

I need some help and encouragement right about now. I need to hear some solutions and some story's of what others like me have gone through.

I am 235 pounds, I was 228 about 8 weeks ago. I want to fit nicely in my size 18 pants and by Christmas I want to be in a size 14 pants.
I am fitting losely in size 22, so I am only size 20 right now.. so I am not THAT bad off from where I was.. but I am soo going in the wrong direction

HELP ME!!! please!!!!!!
Steffi

ps: if you want to email me privatly. I am up for that too!!

[JanetMae]

Steffi, I know how you feel; emotional eating is so hard to deal with, but you can do it! Find some interests that will take you out of the house (esp. active hobbies) or have a good book or magazine ready when the munchies hit. Also, check out Anne Fletcher's "Thin for Life" and Barbara Rolls' "Volumetrics," both of which deal with long-term behavior modification.

I too was size 24 a few years ago (and had struggled with weight issues most of my life) but reached goal last summer. I can't tell you how much better I feel! Have maintained it for a year now, and while it takes work (planning, exercising, cooking) it is *so* worth it! So relax, take it slow and steady, change your lifestyle and substitute healthy habits for self-destructive ones. Don't let yourself get hungry, but choose foods carefully. Plan ahead. Make getting healthy one of your highest priorities; really, really *want* it more than anything, and you WILL get there! I am rooting for you ... as I'm sure we all are.
Regards,
Jan

[Little Engine]

Steffi... I think you and I are at about the same place right now. I joined WW a year ago April and did really well for the first several months. Then, somewhere around November/December, I lost my focus. Things got really 'comfortable' and I started slipping back into some of my old bad habits. I stopped journally consistently and my portions got a bit out of control.

It's taken me a few months to figure out why I would do this to myself - I was 'this' close to reaching 50 lbs off (with 50 left to go) and I was stuck. Since November I've been struggling to get the same 10 lbs off. About a month ago I reached that 50 lb goal but I think it scared the crap out of me and I promptly gained several pounds back. Each week I'll gain a bit, lose a bit, gain a bit, etc...

Anyway, my big revalation was that the first 50ish were 'easy' - the program was new to me, it was fun - but that was only the food aspect. I have not yet mastered the other - very important - part of the program.... modifying the behaviours behind why I eat what I eat, when I want to eat it, etc... I think that's just as important as learning to drink the water, exercise, portion food, etc... and I just haven't 'gotten it'.

I'm still waiting for that lightbulb moment when it will click and I'll 'get' the whole program. Until then I continue to try to reach my goals. I keep trying, week after week, to be the person I know I can be. I do keep slipping up, but I don't give up. I go to the meetings everyweek and continue to learn and I am confident that I will get there - it may take me longer, but I will get there.

Christine
Little Engine (I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...)