OK... this is lame. I've gone to the gym before. I have gone to a gym where there are guys. I have no problem exercising around guys. Seriously.
But now that I'm in college, the gym here attracts most of the athletes. Not like the gym at home, where it's mostly middle-aged guys who are out to lose weight like me.
No, these guys are my age or younger, fit of course, or football players, etc. I can't bring myself to go in the gym! Crazy story: I even went and found the gym on campus today. As soon as I heard male voices coming from the room (I could tell they were about to exit) I ran away!
What can I do to psych myself up to go ? And also, if I get there, what gym equipment should I use...? Or should I stick to exercising in my dorm room.
Honestly, they're not thinking negative things, they're thinking "hey, good for that person that they're getting in shape" or they're too self-involved with their own workout that they don't notice anyone else. And honestly, who cares what they think? If they judge you for being overweight then they're not worth your time. And they're most likely not going to notice you, honestly. DOn't be afraid to work out at the gym because a few dumb guys are there.
I'd start on the treadmill, get your heart pumping, cardio cardio cardio, and a lot of people recommend lifting weights as well. Ellipticals are good for warming up, and the bike is awesome too.
Aw, don't be afraid. I was the same way then I got over it, put the weight back on and had to do it all over again the second time was harder. My sister was the one that finally talked some sense into me she said Cheryl.....they are all there working on themselves not to pay attention to you, get over yourself. Nice right, but she was right. Also think of the bonuses........Once you start feeling a little more confident in yourself and you will, you will have a whole room full of men to make friends with or more that you would not have the opportunity otherwise if not for the gym.
I know exactly what you mean. I go to a college gym, and the other day, I was in the weight room next to a guy who was doing bicep curls with dumbbells that weigh more than I do. That was very intimidating. But honestly, none of them care as much as you think they do. They don't care that you're a girl, or that you're overweight. They're just doing their own routines and they probably won't even notice you.
I'd also agree with sunflowergirl - try the treadmill or the elliptical. Put an iPod on, or get a magazine, and you'll forget about anything else. Using an iPod actually makes me feel much more confidant at the gym.
Also, perhaps ask a friend to go with you? It's much less intimidating to go with a workout buddy, and then you can figure out the equipment together. I don't know if your gym has this, but mine has a program where you can meet with a student training instructor, and they'll show you how to work the machines, and even make a program specifically for your needs. That was really helpful to me in the weight room - I never went in there by myself, but once I was confidant enough that I knew how to work the machines, I didn't get scared anymore!
Let me generalize here for a minute. In addition focusing on their own workouts, the male college age guy is also going to be too busy worrying about whether anyone is looking at them to pay attention to much else, I think.
I totally get that it is scary, but I think after you get out there that first time, it will get easier and easier!
Go anyway! Mostly they will be focusing on themselves. Secondly, they will be focusing on looking good in front of the girls at the gym. Thirdly, enjoy the eye candy. Fourthly, you are there to work out but you might meet someone you have a lot in common with. Guys are really just people like you and me.
I can totally understand where your coming from, I am **kinda** in the same boat as you. I go to the local gym, which is 3 miles away from UCF (Univesity of Central Florida). Anyway, I avoid going in the evenings as much as possible because its the younger more in shape group. Instead, I drag myself out of bed at 5 a.m. every morning to get there when not as many people are there and the ones that are, are mainly older. Anyway - my point is, even when I do go in the evenings, what Ive realized (now that I am 25 pounds thinner) is that they were not looking at me before, they are not looking at me now. If anything, and I know this sounds crazy but once you reach your goal and your a smokin chica, they MIGHT notice you them. And then sit there and say "do you come here often", lol, uh - yeah, you have been going there for 6 months. Im just sayin, thats probably how the scenario will pan out.
OH and one other thing. CDAWN is spot on. There's this guy in my neighborhood that has a MAJOR crush on me, he has pretty much told me this. Obviously, nothing is going to come of it, but he goes to my gym. I went there for almost a whole month and he did not once notice me when I waived hi, so I finally said something to him like, "is there a reason you dont say hi at the gym", and hes like "what gym, you go to my gym - I didnt even notice, Im sorry, I am so in the zone when Im there, I dont notice anyone around me". So there you have it! Right out of the horses mouth. Haha.
Sorry for such a long reply, I just want you to know that you are not alone. Good luck!
Last edited by luckylindy; 04-17-2009 at 08:47 AM.
I work out at a college gym too--I work at the university. Those college boys are really only focused on themselves and trying to outdo each other with the amount of weight they can lift. I hardly ever, ever, ever see them on the cardio machines--only weight machines and dumbells (lol).
Don't worry about them. Like others suggested, start with the treadmill and eliptical or bike and bring your ipod. Pretty soon you'll be in the zone!
These guys are too involved in admiring themselves in the mirrors to notice anyone else. Like someone else suggested just enjoy the eye candy...I do at my gym..
I, too, work out at a college gym, because I live near where I went to grad school & get a great alumni rate. The school is mostly attended by women, because historically it was a women's college, but there are men, too, and they tend to flock to the gym, as a sort of male clubhouse central. They strike me as sensitive, intelligent, full of angst & worried about their bodies just as much as women are. They're just big hairy boys, really. Their minds are on their iPods & what's on the overhead TVs, and whether anyone's looking at them, and whether they can bulk up their skinny legs, and if they can improve their time at rowing, and whether there will be any entry-level jobs/internships/summer jobs left for them with the economy so lousy. They generally look focused -- and sweaty -- and somewhat deafened by whatever they're listening to.
I feel motherly toward them & wish them well. They've never been anything but polite to me. They don't hang out in packs & make rude noises at women like construction workers. Not in that place; not at that school. It's really a safe zone for anyone of either sex looking messy & sweaty & red-faced & unshowered.
Also, after you go there a few times, the regulars will become familiar to you & you'll feel fine being around them. They'll be like a piece of equipment that's always sitting there in the same place. You'll look back on this & be surprised you ever felt initimidated. When that day happens, remember to be nice to yourself & see it as a sign of how far you've come.
Great comments from everyone. When I first started working out, I went to a gym and it scared the **** out of me. Everyone seemed so fit and I was afraid they were going to look at me and use me as motivation to keep going!
Fact is, most people are into what they are doing to notice anyone else. I am like that at the gym - I may watch people but it's just to get ideas. I always think for someone who obviously looks awkward at the gym - GOOD FOR THEM for being here!!!
GO IN, WEAR SOME MUSIC and if you are not familiar with the equipment I would suggest asking one of the people associated with the gym to help show you around - that will take some of that intimidation away too! You will feel so great after, those thoughts will be diminished more and more everytime!
Thanks guys -- I loved each of your insightful and helpful posts. luckylindy, glad to hear it straight from the horse's mouth as you said! LOL!
Like I said, the silly thing is that I wasn't really scared going to the neighborhood gym. Here, the gym is located faaar faaar away in the athletics department ... somewhat inspiring and yet intimidating to walk past all those trophies on your way to flop around on the elliptical for a while!
I read about someone here (I think) who also said that their college had a fitness program that helped them get in shape. I think my school might, so I'll check that out too. Also going in super early like 6:00 ... uggghhh... but might have to do that to get a jumpstart on the day.
when i exercise i totally focus on myself. I can care less whats going on around me. When i go on with my exercise i consentrate on my breething, muscels, i listen to my body and 100% into feeling how my body is pushed to its limit. I must be the weird one but i am enjoying feeling sweat on my head and body. And when i see sweaty people around me its very incuraginf for me to push harder. And i can honestly say that it doesnt metter if its 100lbs girl exercise hard or 400 lbs woman - if you can see how hard they go its the most motivation for me. I dont see how heavy they are or how fit they are - i see how dedicated they are and thast what matter!
Just dont focus on how you look - try to focus on your workout.
I've heard this from friends. And honestly? People are so oblivious and focused on their own exercise and lives that they will probably not notice you unless you cut in line for the elliptical or something!
Go to the gym and take it slow at first and work up to getting into a routine.
If someone makes a negative comment then F--- them! I think women are the usual purveyors of cattiness and nasty comments but so what? They are just demonstrating what horrible people they are.
Most people, if they give you a second thought, will think "good for her, she's doing something positive for herself" If anything people might use you for inspiration. I like to think that if people see my generously sized rear hustling at the gym then they certainly can do what they need to do!
Good luck and if it helps, just put in some earphones and work out to some tunes to drown out that little voice inside giving you those doubts!
I read somewhere that people at the gym are more likely to think something positive if they see someone working hard at the gym, as opposed to as if they saw lounging around eating a ton of food, and being lethargic. I doubt they will judge you, it is definitely better that you are even there! Maybe they have even had weight problems themselves! I know Jillian Michaels used to be overweight, and look at her now! Awesome bod, and arguably the number 1 trainer right now. I used to work out at my university's gym and was a bit intimidated at first, because I was using the room all the jocks/frat guys used, but they really don't pay you any attention, and if they do, they might be checking you out They really are self-interested, and I'm sure they will not be thinking anything negative about you
Scared to go to the gym...
I've gone to the gym before. I have gone to a gym where there are guys. I have no problem exercising around guys. Seriously.
