another boob/sex thread - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

stellart · 03-23-2009, 04:15 PM

i know there's a million threads like this but:

i really hate my breasts. they sag, they are deflated, i've never breastfed or had children, and im in my mid-20s.

i'm so self-conscious about my body. especially with my current bf, that no lie, i usually keep my bra on during sex. unless its virtually pitch black in the room. my bf is not the type to call me beautiful or compliment me very often. and where he may find me attractive, he rarely says it. i know i shouldn't need anyone's approval or reassurance to feel good about myself.

but seriously, is this the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard?? is it silly that i keep covered, or should i just accept myself? i never really brought it up, but one time i mentioned something that i "wish i had really nice breasts" and he said that mine were fine. but idk, it wasn't very reassuring.

bethbeth · 03-23-2009, 04:24 PM

I think you need to be honest with him, and tell him that you need more reasurrance. Most likely, he loves your body and doesn't see the need to tell you. It's very hard for him to meet your needs if you do not tell him what they are.

MindiV · 03-23-2009, 04:50 PM

I'm exactly the same way! Went from nice 38D to 32 B...but have to wear a C to contain all the saggy, baggy skin. So I can't find a bra that fits at all. I'm wearing a 34 because I can't find a 32C with full coverage anywhere that I can actually try ON. I hate to spend a lot of money and buy something online that I can't put on my body first.

As for the sex thing...I can relate too. My husband hasn't seen me naked in more than a year. He may not care, but I do. To me, I hate the thought that HE'LL find them as unattractive and ugly as I do if he sees them. Irrational, maybe. But that's how it is for me....

shrinkingviolet · 03-23-2009, 04:52 PM

You should accept yourself the way you are, definitely. All women look different from each other. It's a shame that women are comparing/being compared to women in the media who usually have fake boobs or boobs enhanced in some other way, even just with air-brushing. It's nonsense. And any man holding you to that ridiculous standard needs to be excised from your life. You deserve a man who treasures you. I'm sure there are plenty out there who would.

beerab · 03-23-2009, 05:02 PM

Pft honey I'm 26 and my boobs are saggy and I don't care. But at the same time my husband does compliment my body and tells me he loves my breasts and so on

I think it's nice to hear it and I'd tell your bf you'd like to hear what he likes about your body now and then.

There is nothing more liberating than just letting go during sex- get naked- any man will tell you how hot it is to him when a woman is comfortable with her own body- specially in the bedroom. In our bedroom our closet is a mirror and I won't lie- I love to watch- I still think I'm sexy at 212 lbs! My husband told me one gf he had he broke up with because he got tired of her saying "I'm so fat" and him having to say "no honey you aren't fat." lol.

I guess if I ever really feel like it- after I have my children I'll get a breast lift- but other than that I'm pretty happy with my breasts and body

JulieJ08 · 03-23-2009, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MindiV

. So I can't find a bra that fits at all. I'm wearing a 34 because I can't find a 32C with full coverage anywhere that I can actually try ON.

No kidding. I just shopped for a 32, not sure if I needed a C or D, but it didn't matter, 'cause there weren't none of either at a place like Kohls! Not very many 32s of any cup size, actually. Sure doesn't seem like such an unusual size.

PeatrixPotter · 03-23-2009, 06:07 PM

I got huge breast implants last year because I wanted to feel sexier. Well, they ended up ruining my sex life because I just never felt like myself and I didn't feel natural. I took them out three weeks ago and couldn't be happier! Both my boyfriend and I are much happier with my 34Cs than my 34DDDs! There is something to be said about natural beauty.

misspiggy408 · 03-23-2009, 07:15 PM

I feel your pain ... I really dislike my flabby breasts too. Plus after 2 kids, mine also have a few stretch marks

LitaScarlett · 03-23-2009, 07:21 PM

I have larger breasts and I hate them because I feel like all they are is fat. So I understand and I had a boyfriend just like that. It was hard because I did take the lack of reassurance to heart, but after a while, he just got tired of reassuring me (which is funny because he needed it about as much as I did).

It may be hard to do but you should certainly talk to him to encourage him to compliment you (esp regarding sex) but it might not be enough. At some point you're going to have to buckle down and find away to appreciate your body for yourself. It's easier said than done, but sexiness is about 90% attitude and if you have it, he'll notice that, too.

SouthLake · 03-23-2009, 07:43 PM

For those looking for 32s in C or D, try Fredericks. Their bras are actually relaly supportive, and they have a huge variety of band and cup sizes. I'm currently a 32F... try finding that! But, they carry them and they're comfortable! Just try not to giggle at the matching crotchless panties

JulieJ08 · 03-23-2009, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SouthLake

For those looking for 32s in C or D, try Fredericks. Their bras are actually relaly supportive, and they have a huge variety of band and cup sizes. I'm currently a 32F... try finding that! But, they carry them and they're comfortable! Just try not to giggle at the matching crotchless panties

Thanks! I will try that :-) I just hate hitting the mall

stellart · 03-23-2009, 09:00 PM

first off, go to figleaves.com for bras. granted its mail order. but its amazing. amazing. and free return shipping.

anyway, some people said love your body for what it is. i can't. i really just can't.

some ppl said, talk to him. nah that's useless. i've talked. he knows. he's not really one for giving compliments or showing verbal affection.

although the other day, i told him that i thought his eyes were his best feature, (they are, they are big and amazing and piercingly blue), i asked him what my best feature was, he said my face. he said i had a beautiful face. i choked for a second because i couldn't believe the word beautiful came out of his mouth, but it made me wonder if he likes my body. i dont think he really does to be honest.

we have a strange relationship.

i've been with other guy's before that verbally tell me how hot, sexy, i am, my "body part" is. he doesn't do that. that makes me feel comfortable though. but i feel stupid to ask someone to tell me im attractive.

ok, i think this sounds like a bigger personal problem.

VermontMom · 03-23-2009, 09:17 PM

gosh, we all have to work through our feelings on our bodies.. I would wear a bra during sex if that wasn't considered weird. I am very self conscious of my deflated breasts, yet husband always, always says they're great. Well, they're the only ones he's ever getting that close to

I appreciate his saying so, and I <guess> I believe him...but I have to like myself, too.

Your bf is the non-verbal type (as alot of guys are about 'how do you feel about this') , and you want to hear confirmation...it's a tough situation

but it must have been nice for you to hear the word 'beautiful' from him about you

stellart · 03-23-2009, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VermontMom

Your bf is the non-verbal type (as alot of guys are about 'how do you feel about this') , and you want to hear confirmation...it's a tough situation

but it must have been nice for you to hear the word 'beautiful' from him about you

it is a tough situation. it makes me feel even more insecure because im the type that needs someone to tell me im attractive in order to feel that way.

and it was ok to hear. i guess just surprising. i even replied with "you think i have a beautiful face?!?!?!"

CyndiM · 03-23-2009, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MindiV

I'm exactly the same way! Went from nice 38D to 32 B...but have to wear a C to contain all the saggy, baggy skin. So I can't find a bra that fits at all. I'm wearing a 34 because I can't find a 32C with full coverage anywhere that I can actually try ON.

I don't want to hijack the thread but this is my problem exactly! I can't find a bra they will stay put in. I need a C cup to get all the skin in but often end up with a ridge of skin across the top of the bra from moving. Don't even get me started on finding a yoga top I stay in! This isn't the normal middle age sag, this is the significant weight loss sag. Where do those of you who deal with this shop? I've tried Bare Essentials (on line) and the Bali, Hanes, etc outlet but haven't found any brand that really contains the girls.