[KatDev]

I started with LA Weight Loss last June. I did well for the first few months. I had a couple setbacks, but I kept going. My weight loss continued until approximately October. I've lost 32lbs, but that's pretty much where I've been stuck. I'm very very happy to have lost that weight, but I still have 116lbs to my goal.

I did lose focus and fell off track for a while (especially once my centre closed), but I've been back on the wagon for a few weeks now, and nothing has changed. I'm still fluctuating within the same five pounds - no matter how well I eat.

On top of it all, I worry constantly about my boyfriend. Now, I know that no one could have pushed me into the decision to lose weight. It was something I had to come to on my own. But when we go to the mall and we eat at the food court, he orders three double cheeseburgers, two snack wraps, two small fries, and a large coke... I can't help but add up all the calories and fat in my head.

I'm pretty sure he's over 400lbs and I am so scared for him. I'm afraid that I'll have to bury him before I can even marry him.

Since his eating habits aren't healthy, it makes it even more difficult for me to stay 100% focused. He brings in candy, chips, and pop. He won't eat the healthy food I make. He just wants to eat whatever he chooses, and it's always a huge serving of something breaded, greasy, fatty... whatever.

Part of me wants to gently approach him about his habits and my fears, but another part of me tells me that he would just get upset and feel guilty and nothing would change and I'll just feel bad for hurting him. I've briefly considered approaching his family about it so that maybe they can join me in confronting him about it.

He needed to get some new work pants last week, so we went shopping. I know how hard it is for me to go shopping for clothes. Nothing ever fits right and I get frustrated and depressed. Now, the store where he usually buys his pants has stopped making some styles of clothing that go up to his size. There's one style of pant that does fit him, but he had to make an order for it because they didn't have that size at the store. I saw how frustrated he was about it. I know how much that hurts. Do you think that made an impact on him and that he made an effort to change? No... not yet...

I am trying so hard. I've found my willpower again. There are days when I feel like giving in to a craving, but then I decide against it and do something else. Like the time I wanted chips out of the vending machine at work... I was going to be heading home shortly, and I thought about what snacks I had there. I had fruit at home that I could snack on, so I walked away from the vending machine, went home, and ate fruit.

I'm sorry for the very long post... I just felt like I needed to vent my frustrations. I need to stay 100% focused on everything I eat right now. I need to concentrate so hard on myself. I just wish that there was a way that I could convince my boyfriend to join the fight with me.

I feel like I'm at such a low point of my weight loss journey. Any advice would be tremendously appreciated.

[Tara415]

I think that one of the best things that you can do for your boyfriend is set a healthy example for him. You're right that you can't really tell anyone that they need to lose weight and if they are not to that point in their own mind, they may take it the wrong way.

My husband and I have been enablers for each other in the past when it comes to eating out and being unhealthy in general. About two months ago, my husband made the decision that he wanted to lead a healthier lifestyle and for him that means dedicating himself to working out each day and limiting eating out. This was a really hard thing for me to accept at first because we had always been unhealthy together. Our spending time together was often in the form of eating out together. When I couldn't persuade him to go out, it would really frustrate me. Eventually, he started to see results from his hard work and I saw his results as well. Not only was he changing his body, but his attitude was so positive. At that point, I couldn't help but be motivated by his new outlook and energy towards life.

The thing that was really hard for me to realize is that you have to consciously make the choice to allow someone to take away your focus. He made that choice and wouldn't allow me to sabotage his efforts regardless of how many times I suggested we eat at his favorite restaurant or do something else instead of going to the gym. Now instead of being each others enablers, who take away focus from each other, we try to be motivators instead. It took us two months (and a lot of frustration on my behalf) to get to this point and some days are still better than others.

Overall, my best advice is to concentrate on your own goals for health and fitness. Be supportive, but not pushy, if he starts to show interest in becoming healthy for himself. Hopefully, your positive example will give him that internal push he's needing.

[squeak351]

Originally Posted by Tara415

Overall, my best advice is to concentrate on your own goals for health and fitness. Be supportive, but not pushy, if he starts to show interest in becoming healthy for himself. Hopefully, your positive example will give him that internal push he's needing.

Defintely agree with what she posted. You have to focus on your self first. Don't push something on him that he isn't ready to do. Talk to him gently and tell him how much you love him and that'd you'd like to be around a long time. Eating like he is, is certainly not good for him. I know it's hard to be around someone that eats those types of foods but stay strong. You can do it!!!

As far as LAWL. I did the program a few years ago. I lost 35 lbs, then fell off the wagon. I tried to get back on track last summer and rejoined. Then my center closed, so I moved to a new center, then it closed too. I was so frustrated that I just couldn't get back on track. I eventually found a new program that's doctor monitored that I just started last week. no matter what program you are doing you have to be commited to it. Tracking every bite that goes into your mouth, exercising and drinking water, it all goes hand in hand. And on top of all that I THINK that your attitude has a lot to do with it. Maybe, maybe not but it doesn't hurt. So take some time for yourself and put things into perspective and above all just stay true to yourself. You can't help others if you don't help yourself first.

[Lachelle]

The most important thing to remember is not to let him lead you off the path you're on right now. It's also the most difficult thing to put into practice.

My husband and I were always each other's enablers in our eating habits. "You want to order pizza?" "Yeah, order two large ones." Crap like that. The difference between me and my husband, though, is eating like that put me up to 293 pounds, while he's always been around 170 pounds.

In my past healthy-eating efforts, he's never gotten on board, which was always what eventually led to me falling off the wagon. I'd be sitting there, eating chicken and rice, while he's made a frozen pizza. This time, he's eating healthy with me, which is what I think is going to make the difference in me succeeding this time.

[bargoo]

I agree with Tara. Take care of yourself. I find that trying to help others, who do not want help, just doesn't work and often makes them resentful.