[brooksrm]

Guys, I had a bad day and I didn't mean to.

I'm not the type of person who messes up and then thinks the whole day is lost and then go out and binge. But today I did mess up, a lot. And since one of my challenges to myself is to be completely honest with myself about eating, I was able to learn one obvious but awakening lesson, and one lesson that is interesting and optimistic.

What happened? I worked an extra long shift today so I was at the group home from noon until 10pm. Meaning I was there for 2 meals. Now, I packed healthy stuff to eat, but I always liked popcorn chicken and potato salad (which they were having for lunch) so I helped myself to 3 popcorn chicken bites and a little bit of potato salad. The potato salad was so good I went back for more. I'm not great on guessing portions, but I don't think I had a full cup of the stuff. But that's what I wrote down in my food log. (I always round up). Since this is not what I packed for lunch, I chalked it up to boredom eating. So we'll say 560 calories there. (I was indeed appalled to find out that my 3 chicken bites were 200 cal. They're one of those foods that no longer tempt me now that I know the truth.)

To make up for that, I decided I was at least going to ditch a piece of bread from my sandwich at dinnertime, and not eat the wheat thins I packed.

Boredom. Between lunch and dinner, all our clients were napping, staff sat around and watched tv and ATE. I watched one person devour half a can of pringles. I watched another person have two bowls of vanilla ice cream. I started out with a half cup of applesauce. Yummy. Still wanted something, so I went for my plan-ahead snacks. A couple of walnuts and 6 dried apricots. Yummy and healthyish still. But then I tasted a pringle chip and that was it. I did manage to stick to 1 serving though.

I didn't feel the need to eat by the time dinner was cooked. To be honest, with all the junk food in me, I wasn't really hungry. And by the time I was ready for dinner, I was content with my tuna fish/miracle whip salad on 1 slice of bread instead of a sandwich. Another thing of applesauce, and I was okay still.

On the way home from work, I don't know what possessed me to open the storage thing in my car, but I did, where I found an old 1 lb bag of Reese's pieces left over from my Christmas stocking. I think I left them in my car when I opted not to sneak them into the movie theater or something. Anyway, I KNEW BETTER! I did it anyway and every time I wanted to stop, I didn't. I got mad at myself and threw them away when I got home. But then, even worse, after I got home I saw my favorite carb loaded treat in the fridge and scooped out a bowl of my mom's homemade macaroni salad. That's one of the treats in our house that she makes once or twice a year, and it's always gone in a day. My now or never reflex kicked in and I ate it slowly and enjoyed it, but I cannot justify it in the light of the fact that I was not hungry, and I did already succumb to other junk the rest of the day.

End of background info, next post will be my lessons learned.

[brooksrm]

Lessons I learned. Some obvious, some not.

1) I added up all the junky crap I ate just from boredom. 1600 calories of boredom food, out of my total 2300ish. There's only so much to do at work when things are quiet and you get in trouble if you bring a book or do any of the stuff I do at home to keep from boredom eating, but I've got to think of something! I will not let this happen tomorrow. And really, my food journal helps because now that I am aware just how bad my boredom food is, maybe I will not be so tempted.

2) When I was legitimately hungry, I made healthy choices. My first snacks (probably from my less than sufficient lunch) were healthy. A small amount of walnuts, fruit, and more fruit. My dinner was healthy. Tunafish and applesauce. And I was happy with that.

3) No keeping junk food in my car! >

4) Mom will always make macaroni salad again. I don't need to scarf down a lot of it to enjoy it, I could have savored a few bites just as easily as I savored a full bowl. I am not in a famine, I will not starve if others find the food in the fridge before I do.

5) Even after I messed up with the bad snacks, I didn't say "screw the whole day," because I then turned around and had a healthy dinner.

6) Even though I feel mad at myself and guilty, I will do my 20 minutes of exercise and go to bed and wake up with renewed determination to do things right tomorrow.

[ilovetoot]

Wow. I am really impressed! You calmly reviewed your mistakes and will learn from them in the future. I wish I had such focus!

[missamelissa]

I know how you feel. I bought M and Ms from the vending machine at work on Thursday. Then I had a Smart Ones for dinner... but ended up eating cereal afterwards. I really don't know what posessed me... it's a problem I have and I need to stop. I don't know if it was boredom eating or what... but it's not a good idea!

I have been writing down what I eat too, so it does help a lot.

Keep up with your healthy eating and don't dwell on your mistake. That's what I am trying to do. This board really helps because we all have been there.

[mrsaugie]

it is never a bad day when you can walk away from it with a lesson or 2. so i am going to say way to go on learn from the day