[angelanicole23]

Do you have anyone in your life who takes advantage of you?? I'll tell you all a story about my younger sister and I really need some advice.

My sister, my bf and I all live together..which between us we pay very little each for rent and bills. Sis (4 years younger) and I have lived together for a few years.(she moved in with me and my ex bf a few years ago and when i left she came with me..lol....WHY i don't know. Everything here is in my name and i take the responsibility to make sure it is all paid...I am the only one who takes initiative to clean, buy anything for the house ( necessities such as toilet paper/cleaners etc--she'll get it if i repeatedly ask her). A long time ago we agreed to buy our own groceries simply because she buys so much junk (soda, pop tarts, chips, etc) and i thought I was paying half for junk that I didn't eat.

Anyways i planned on going to the gym tonight and was about ten mins from going and discovered she had my Adidas sneakers..i called her at work and lost it! I didn't have time to go to her work to change shoes and was totally pissed. I'm pmsing the past few days and the one thing i've been looking forward to doing (zumba class)i couldn't do...i was not wearing her skater sneakers to a fitness class.

I am totally sick of putting up with her crap, basically being her mother here..I want so badly to ask her to move out but she has no 'close' friends she could move in with and if i do I'm sure she will make me look like the bad one here..........she is barely home (always at her bf's house) which is a good thing. She is completely irresponsible (leaving oven on all night, hair dryer still plugged in and because it doesn't have an on/off switch it was going all day).I've even suggested to my two brothers who are looking for a place together to get a 3bedroom for the 3 of them..they declined!

Anyways how the heck can I grow a backbone and stop putting up with her.......without slowly going insane. I am SICK and tired of having to ask for help, reminding her over and over to give me money ( i know she has it..she makes much more than i do), asking her to stop taking my crap without asking for it, and being irresponsible. The only great thing with her living with us is the really low amt of money we each pay and the fact that she is never home. We don't have a normal sisterly relationship ( I found out on facebook her and her bf had broken up) and I feel completely taken advantage of.

Tell me all what you would do??? Or if you've had any experiences similar to this?? I am seriously at wit's end..my only answer is basically for myself and bf to find our own place without her..but why should we move because she is making us miserable??

[RN BSN 2009]

Make a set of written rules that everyone has the follow. Point out the parts that she doesn't follow.

[angelanicole23]

yep that is a good idea...we verbally agreed a long time ago that Thursday nights would be cleaning night...and after a while we gave that up.

[Beautiful Ace]

I would seriously sit her down, and have a talk to her about all the stuff you just told us. Tell her how you feel about it, and that if she doesn't smarten up and start acting like a mature adult, you will have no other option but making her go find her own place. It's basically her choice then. You're not kicking her out on her ***, she's making the decision here because she has the options sitting in front of her.
A. smarten up
B. find a new place to live.

That's just me though. I'm young and have never had to deal with that kind of stuff so I don't know if my advice will be any good. lol

[MaryEllen]

You are completely justified in asking her to move out, especially since everything is under your name and it's your butt on the line. She should be old enough now to not be playing games, and your requests are not unreasonable. You'd really only be paying 1/6 more, seeing as you and your bf would be splitting her third, right? And since she's always at her bf's anyway, tell her she can move in with him.

I'm kidding, don't really tell her that. But you need to stand up for yourself.

Edit: I have four friends that lived together and did a weekly chore revolving list. One week garbage, next week kitchen, next week bathroom, etc. But that wouldn't solve the problems like leaving the oven on all night.

[aneleh]

Yea I agree, you should sit down with her and write up the house rules on a board maybe, and make it clear that you will kick her out if she doesn't follow them. If you do have to kick her out or find your own place, I'm sure the experience of living alone/with other room mates who don't clean up after her might help her grow up.

[JulieJ08]

I can sympathize. I let my two nephews move in with me, and have had the same experience you have. Plus their noise. They are finally moving out! I was about to tell them they had to. I have had roommates before who were total strangers, and they worked out *MUCH* better. It's great to save money, but sometimes the daily stress that some roommates wreak on you is just way too much to live with.