Reading the "why did you regain" thread, it just suddenly hit me that this is my new life. I mean, I knew before that I had to make lifestyle changes, but I guess something about reading just really made the impression that watching what I eat and exercising is my new reality every day for years and decades into the future. For some reason, I just feel really, really sad, like my dog had died. It isn't like I'm overwhelmed by the idea of having to pay attention and incorporate these changes. It should be a good thing that I'll get and keep the things I want in life. I'm just sad, and I don't know why that should make me cry. Does this make sense to anyone?
Yea I know it can seem like you can't be 'carefree' in a sense with food choices and exercise. On the other hand, with a healthy lifestyle, we are living up to our potential as human beings, and doing the things that we are meant to be doing! The only difference being in this day and age we have to work hard to be healthy, whereas thousands of years ago it was just a part of life and happened.
I think it's really hard to look at the long term-ness of the idea of changing one's lifestyle-- to say, "never again... this is over... this is gone..." is too much, it's overwhelming.
I usually try to look at it like, for the rest of this hour--or the rest of today-- etc.; it's the same thing with addictions.
Any major lifestyle change is stressful. I think it's normal to be sad about this, just like it's normal to be sad about anything in your life ending. Even if it's a good change, you're bound to be upset about losing the potential good times, and constant vigilance doesn't necessarily sound like fun at first. But, I think the more you're at this the more it will get to be second nature. Also, I can tell you that my quality of life is MUCH higher now than it ever was, not just in terms of the weight loss, but also how I think about and enjoy food and exercise now.
It's ok to give yourself some time to adjust. Just remember that this can be an exciting change, not just a dull, daily grind.
Ufi - have you seen my "Maintenance Self Pity" thread? There was a lot of discussion about this very thing. Most of the time, I like my new habits. Sometimes, I resent the heck out of my plan. That's sort of the way it is.
The consensus in that thread was that, yes, sometimes these things make us sad, and it tends to be cyclical. The bad part is that these feelings will probably come up periodically for you (and all of us). The good part is that eventually, the cycle goes around again and you start feeling good again that you get to have them as part of your life.
The key is sticking on plan even when you're kind of sad about it. And sticking here, posting, and checking in can REALLY help.
I regained weight and this time around it's different, I'm really fine tuning and cleaning out my kitchen and diet. I know how quickly one can gain weight back and statistics say 1 in 10 keep it off. But I know I like certain things - and rather then gorging in them, I'm going to on a limited basis eat some enjoyable foods once I hit maintenance this time round. There's plan like the Superfoods or Best Life diets that give you some ideas on how to slip in some foods later on, and how many times a week you can do this to maintain your weight. Right now I'm being quite restrictive. I miss some pigouts, some beer, the big pizzas and eating emotionally. I guess it boils down to how much you want this - and want it for life. It's easy to go on fad diets, lose 10 lbs just to regain it back, but losing and keeping it off for life -it's a complete lifestyle change or it doesn't work. However think of this - if you accomplish this - what other things you can accomplish in life as well, and how much better you'll feel about yourself each and every day. I miss wearing anything in my closet, the energy, the skin glow and the bounce in my walk that comes with being thinner... yes it's goodbye to the past me, but hello to the new self disciplined me and my new lifestyle.
With time and weight loss your outlook will change, because the extra energy, better fit in clothes, the way you look and feel, all these things will start to become more important to you than the actual food you eat or don't eat.
If you're anything like me, food was very important, maybe all important, so it's hard to think of a life that doesn't revolve around it. There are fabulous things to eat out there, but the consequences of eating those things have not been positive for most of us.
Take a moment if you need to and mourn the old life, but the better thing to do is begin to focus on the new and get really "into" it, getting excited about what it holds for you on so many levels.
I say good riddance to that old lifestlye. Buh-buh.
Though it IS hard to wrap around your head that this "lifestlye" is FOREVER. And ever and ever. That's a looong time. But once you come to accept it, it's easier to take. Once you decide that you WANT to be a health minded person, it's kinda cool. And the benefits and the rewards that it brings about are unbeatable. It is a life filled with MUCH MORE JOY. HANDS DOWN. Oh, and much less worries.
Yes, there are times it gets a bit tiring, but those times don't last very long. I'll go to my closet and have to decide from dozens of fabulous outfits, which to put on and I will once again be reminded just how worth it it is. And that's just the beginning. Every single area of my life has been improved having lost the weight. Each and every, every and each.
Besides, my old lifestyle never made me happy. I wasn't happy when I was eating all those high calorie/high quantity foods. They didn't make me happy and what it did to me didn't make me happy. I was miserable, lethargic, depressed, underutilized and unproductive. Now I am full of energy and highly productive.
This lifestyle may be tedious at times, but it is very, very rewarding and accomplishes something fabulous - a healthy, slender, fit, trim, happy ME. Whenever I am off plan, I feel completely out of sorts. Being on plan is what now makes me happy. What it brings about, and in and of itself. I feel in control, peaceful and all is right.
The deck is stacked against us. The messages we've been hearing through advertising all our lives say, "Eat, drink, and be merry! Consume freely! This is what life is all about!" And if you believe that, if you think that the point of becoming an adult is so you can eat and drink and buy whatever you want, whenever you want it, with no consequences... Well, you end up fat and sick and broke, while the companies get rich.
It is hard to give up that sense of freedom and limitless choice, even though it's totally false! And the child within feels sad because someone just said, "No honey, not today. Let's think about that."
It is hard sometimes. I get tired of always having to be mindful, always self-monitoring. I thought maintenance would be easy somehow .. but heck, how would I know because I never managed to really maintain successfully before.
When I get discouraged, or tired of it all, I try to re-focus on all of the wonderful benefits of being thinner. When I start counting the ways that my life has improved -- health, relationships, energy level, appearance, etc -- then I remember why I do what I do.
You are grieving for the old you -- but the new you will feel better and live better. It's all a trade off. You have be mindful of your eating and exercise -- in exchange for SO many other benefits. It IS worth it!!
I agree that your feelings are very normal. Sometimes I wish that I could eat anything and everything I wanted without consequences. But it does seem to be cyclical and that feeling goes away. It will come back, I know, but on those days I fake it til I make it.
I think that we can help ourselve by changing things up and seeking out activties and recipes that spark our excitement. For example, I love weightlifting. So even though there are days I have to make myself drive to the gym, once I'm there I have a total blast and love it! Or trying a new recipe. Robin just posted a salmon recipe that looks heavenly.
The other thing is, I'm not on plan 100% perfectly for ever and ever and ever. I have rest days. I have either a free day or free meal each week. So, I do have the occasional cheeseburger or enchiladas or ice cream, etc., just occasionally. But also totally without guilt, cause it is worked into my plan.
I think the sadness you are experiencing is a grieving process and like any grief you have to experience it in order to heal. I think the many of us who have lost and regained have protected ourselves from the grief of the loss of the former lifestyle we can no longer have.
Although not at maintenance yet I do think over my current journey I have mourned the loss of the food stuffs that I thought made me happy and I feel more prepared now than I've ever been to carry this on for life. Like others have said there are days when I have to remind myself why it is worth it - I've had a few recently over the festive season, but these don't usually last long now.
I get tired of it at times. Tired of writing down my food. Tired of planning planning planning. Tired of exercising.
In 2008 I learned that giving in to being tired doesn't work, and I gained some weight back. I like that less than the writing and planning and exercising. We will all have to find ways to negotiate the tough times, but it helps to know these feelings come and go.
Sometimes I have to ask myself what the alternative of not keep track of everything is. Its not "normal" the way the average person eats b/c 2/3 of us are overweight. Keeping track and exercising are what a productive person does to maximize their health and ultimately their longevity. I can understand the desire for the lifestyle to be more natural and less of a planned out thing. I envy people who are physically active and eat right because that is their natural disposition. I have had to become the type of person loves exercise and to eat right because I have to do it even when I don't want to.
Trust me I KNOW how you feel- it's freaking hard- specially when my sister says "let's go to 7/11" and she grabs TWO candy bars, a bag of hot funions, and a bag of sunflower seeds. Then my hubby grabs a hot dog wtih cheese and a soda while I don't get anything or if they bug me about not eating I'll grab a bag of baked lays or something.
THEN we get home and my sister eats it ALL in one sitting and the girl is like a size THREE!
Sad about new lifestyle
