I'd like to hear from others who are losing weight AND have kids (older kids, who complicate things!) I need some new strategies.
Sadly, my kids were mostly raised on cheap junk (we were pretty poor for awhile there, and the food bank gave us loads of cakes and donuts, and I could afford Ramen and corn dogs!) I regret it now. At the time I didn't realize what I was doing (besides gaining 100 pounds). My older kids who are 13 through 18, all have a real taste for junk.
They are good about eating what I cook, and will snack on fruit sometimes. I do keep healthy snacks around for them. However I can't have a "clean kitchen" that I would like to have of JUST fruit, vegs, whole grains, beans, lean meats. They eat a LOT... all of them (growing boys) and I compromise by getting them stuff that isn't what I would eat but isn't terribly junky.
For example I do buy them Chex, raisin bran, Cheerios, granola, flavored yogurts. I also buy them cinnamon bread and frozen waffles for breakfasts... and sausage links... and even stuff like frozen pizzas for when they have their friends over or it's a rushed night. It's just complicated. I want to cook things they like, that I have always made (like healthy banana bread and pumpkin bread) but those things make me flip out and binge. And then there's the birthday cakes and the times they want the stuff we used to eat like cocktail weiners, hot dogs, fried chicken.
I wish sometimes I could lock myself in a house alone with JUST the foods I *should* eat, but then I wouldn't have my 5 blessings... my kids. So I am glad I have em.
Anyone have coping strategies? Anyone else find it hard to lose weight with kids?
I think anyone who lives with someone who is not concerned with their weight can relate to your struggle...It is a challenge we face every day that requires constant vigilance.
I live with my 21 yo DD who has never had a weight problem and is "to busy" to eat well. I recently got some relief from all the junk food...She got pregnant and is now interested in only having healthy food around! Of course that won't work for you if you have all boys.
There's at least one person here at 3FC that keep off plan foods in a separate cupboard and she knows anything in that cupboard is off limits for her.
I have a DD who's skinny (5' 6" 115 pounds - just lost 5 pounds and not sure why) and a DH who like me needs to shed some pounds.
DD doesn't like to eat a lot of meats and while she'll eat salads happily, doesn't like a lot of cooked vegetables. Hmm, what does that leave - white carbs and junk food. She just flat out won't eat what she doesn't like. I remember when she was in pre-school, there was one lunch that came around every three weeks. All she would eat was the gravy. I'm able to ignore a lot of the snack foods because I either buy things for her I don't like, or they're things I can ignore.
However, DH is another story. I've used him as my excuse several times for abandoning healthy eating after losing 10, 20 or 30 pounds. He'll eat healthily for awhile, then he won't want to any more. He'll request meals that are so off plan that if I prepare them, I have no healthy options without preparing a second meal. After working full time, I don't have the energy to make two meals. So for example - grilled boneless, skinless chicken breasts. DH turns his nose up - doesn't like it. He likes it baked with the bones and skin. DD likes it fried (juicy). I'd like to have it several times a week. So I compromised and have it maybe once a week and listen to the complaining. And I try to fix it in a way that's not just a plain grilled breast. So lean meats often end up being pork (DD won't eat) or beef (DD only eats it ground). It's all very difficult.
Or DH adds items to the grocery cart and the budget - bags of chocolate; cheesecake for the guests that are coming over to visit (guess whose fridge the leftovers live in for their short life). Or he'll want to go to a restaurant that serves only pizza. Or he'll just pour me a glass of wine without asking whether or not I want it. Or hand me a bowl of ice cream when I haven't touched ice cream for weeks.
So for kids, I think you try to fix healthy versions of what they like and you either eat them with them, or if they're still too far off plan, eat something similar. So if you're making a healthier version of chicken nuggets, eat them or grilled chicken breast. If you're making pasta, try to convert them to WW pasta with lots of veggies. Or have the veggies on the side. Or substitute the veggies for the pasta for your serving. And I think you just keep having additional options on the table. Chicken nuggets, grilled chicken strips, a shredded cabbage salad, orange wedges, green beans/green bean salad, etc.
Also, the more veggie side dishes you have, the smaller the entree serving can be, the more likely there'll be at least one side dish each person will like, and the more veggies everyone will eat. For example, I'm unlikely to eat two cups of vegetables if there's only one offering. But if I take a half cup each of 3 veggies, I'm a lot closer to that two cups.
One thing my Mom did was require us to try a tablespoon of everything that was served. If we didn't like it, that was all we had to eat of it. Another rule was that if we put it on our plate we had to eat it. If someone else put it on our plate, we only had to eat that one tablespoon.
I know you've tried a whole lot of new produce. Maybe you can make more of a game of that for your kids. Let one of them select a new fruit or veggie or recipe and then they can help prepare it for everyone to try.
New names for things can help. Dinosaur Eggs, Fairy Salad, Monkey fruit salad, whatever your kids are interested in that might work.
I have a soon-to-be 13 year old daughter and a 9 year old daughter. All four of us in the family have weight issues. Sometimes, I feel a terrible guilt that I haven't consistently put my knowledge of healthy eating into practice in my home. As of the 1st, I have made my home a safe zone again. No one needs that junk in their bodies every day. I need to set an example for them. It is my responsibility. The kids are not too happy this morning to hear that there will be no cookies/Little Debbies/puddings in their lunch. But, I have assured them that they still may have treats....occasionally. Not every day. Someday they will thank me. For now, I have to withstand the whining.
I have quite a crew at my house and we have chips, chocolate milk, fruit roll ups, cookies, ice cream, sometimes soda, frozen pizza, frozen waffles, etc. They do not eat perfectly but they eat pretty good. There's always veggies and hard boiled eggs available. My weight management problem is my problem, not theirs. They are all pretty athletic and none of them are overweight. I was very interested to see the pattern of sweet consumption over the holidays. I abstained for the most part, and no one else really ate the stuff either. A bite here or there. But I pitched pies, cookies, candy, etc., stuff that would have disappeared into my mouth, but that they did not feel inclined to eat.
I have this same problem too - mostly around meals though. (Neither my husband or son are big snackers and what they like to snack on doesn't interest me). They do like heavy dinners; meat, fried food, casseroles with lots of cheese etc. Over the past few years my interest in cooking has practically disappeared and making 2 meals (and working fulltime) is too hard. I've tried it before - just doesn't happen. I usually give in and have what they're having which is not good for me.
I'm trying to concentrate on ME this time, knowing that healthy meals are good for them too, that they just own't like them. Neither one of them are complainers and they are supportive in my efforts but we'll see as time goes along. I'm going to try not to feel guilty and give in and appreciate the support this website gives me to help with that.
Giving yourself and your family the gift of good nutrition and good eating habits, and therefore the gift of health - IMO is the ultimate gift we can give our children.
How I wish I would have started this little venture of mine earlier in their lives. What was I thinking?
My kids were much older when I started eating healthy, all teens. We all eat so beautifully now, it's amazing. They LOVE all the roasted veggies I make, LOVE em'. They love the fish and the chicken dishes and the soups and the black bean chlli and the baked butternut squash with apples and on and on and on.
We do have treats in the house occassionally. They do not have portion control issues like their mom. They know how to have just one of something. Mind boggling to me. Ha. And they say obesity is genetic. Whatever.
In the very, very beginning I told them all that I need a completely junk free home. Although I did buy mini-cupcakes for the weekends and I made a vow not to touch them. And I didn't. I told myself it was not intended for me, it's "their food". And since I wanted to lose weight so badly, I didn't touch them.
We have also, all of us relearned what a treat is - baked apples, fresh pineapple, cantalope, frozen banana slices, grapes, sugar snap peas, baby carrots, grape tomatoes, fat free yogurt........
Baking is another thing all together. That I had to completely halt for the year I was losing. Baked goods and me - just not good. My family was more then understanding. They wanted a healthy mom and did all that they could to help me.
As far as birthday cakes, well birthdays don't come up all that often. I did do the cupcake thing though for birthdays. That worked out well. I also make individual cakes in ramekins these days for those special days. Great for portion control - for everyone.
Weiners and fried chicken? Who needs em'? There's much tastier (& healthier) food then that stuff.
Though you may have to have "some" off plan foods in the house, remember you don't have to eat it, as hard as that may be in the beginning. It's not part of YOUR plan - and eating it will only hinder your weight loss efforts. It's "their" food, not yours. It's "their" food, not yours. It's "their" food not yours.
I have a 16 and a 14 year old at home. We still buy some "junk" foods, but honestly, not much. I almost never have chips or cookies in the house (they wouldn't last long enough to keep in the house and they wouldn't be eaten by just me either!), but we frequently have things like frozen pizza, pop tarts, cereals the kids like. The only way I can deal with it is to tell myself that that is THEIR food, not mine. I just have to stamp onto my mind that that is not MY food (in the same way that I don't eat my co-workers food in the frig at work). There have been times that I have bought junk food someone else wanted that I found hard to resist, and I have had to ask my husband to put it in his trunk and take it to work, or ask the kids to put it in their room and keep it for themselves.
As for meals, looking back at it, my family has been very supportive. They have pretty much eaten what I've cooked without complaining. Our usual meal is a protein, 2 veggies, and a starch that I let them have and I usually avoid. I don't fool myself into thinking that they don't prefer fried foods or cheesy heavy side dishes, but they need to be healthy as well, and when I started losing weight, my husband and son needed to lose a few pounds also, which they did. So I feel good about the fact that we all eat better now and that it has helped us.
My kids are pretty young still (2 and 4) and I have found the only way I can stay on track is to buy as much healthy food for them as I can and that way everyone eats healthy. I do still buy them treats sometimes but it takes a lot of willpower to stay away from it. My girls like treats but they also love fruits and veggies which I am happy about.
I guess I'm fairly hardline about the way my family eats. I don't think any of us need junk. When I changed the way I eat 8 months ago, I asked my husband to join me in it, and he did so willingly; and since then we've changed the way our kids eat, too. The only sugar that's in our house now is leftover candy from Halloween that belongs to the kids (who are 5, 8, and almost 13), and I let them have a very small portion of that after dinner a few nights per week. There is no soda in our house; the kids do have real fruit juice in their school lunches every day, but at home I encourage them to mostly drink water or nonfat milk. I do bake, but I do not use sugar in my baking; rather I use a combination of natural sweeteners (prune puree, apple juice concentrate, applesauce, honey) and Splenda. Last night's after-dinner "treat" was fresh, hot, homemade bread with a little bit of butter and honey on it. We require the kids to eat veggies at dinner, and encourage them to eat veggies and fruit and nuts for snacks.
My husband cooks dinner every night because he is home, and I help him a little bit. Dinners are very healthy and everyone eats the same thing, though the smaller kids whine and complain about this a lot and want things like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. (Except we don't use jelly anymore, we use Trader Joe's fruit spread which is all fruit, no sugar--and the kids know this.) But we remain pretty firm on the "everyone eats the provided dinner, or doesn't eat" standard. Our middle son is probably a "taster"; he has a very sensitive sense of taste. However, he doesn't get out of eating broccoli and brussels sprouts and other green stuff.
We talk a lot as a family about healthy eating, about "superfoods," about how their dad and I are losing weight, and other health topics. They know what I think about sugar (that it's basically poison), they know why we eat the way we do now, and they often want to make good choices. (But not always; my daughter, especially, is a total sugar-fiend.)
I guess I'd say that it's really important to have a dialogue and say to kids, "This is a big issue for me. What can we do about this? How can we help each other?" Even really little kids can understand helping their parents out and making positive changes.
We have honey. I also have three boxes of organic cookie mix because it was on sale for $1 and I couldn't pass it up. My kids aren't big meat eaters so they get lots of beans and nuts. No one in the house eats red meat. I did find BAKED chicken nuggets at SuperTarget by Pilgrim's Pride. I am okay with them eating those. Despite my best efforts, aside from tunafish my kids will not eat fish. Hubby and I eat a ton of fish--probably 3x's a week our dinner comes from the ocean.
A typical meal for them is grilled cheese on whole wheat with a bowl of beans and apple slices and glass of milk. I do allow them to eat what they want when we go to other homes or go out to dinner. My older one is really getting that some foods may not be your pick but if it's healthy, you should really give it your best shot.
I really wish my kids ate more vegetables. When I was a kid, my mother made one meal. You either ate it or you didn't. I am SO tempted to try this with my kids.
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 01-05-2009 at 12:38 PM.
GirlyGirl, good for you to implement what you need to for your children. It's no fun at first but one of the few things I can actually thanking my mother for is encouraging me to eat my veggies from the get go.
One of my challenges is that my eldest son has a low weight issue, and we have to have lots of calorie dense food around...and we have to ADD fat to his foods. His recommended diet by his nutritionist boggles the mind...ice cream EVERY NIGHT, pizza, as much butter as we can slather on his toast, LOTS of olive oil in his stir fry, and on and on. So I HAVE to have lots of yummy, fattening things in my house for him...but not for my other two kids -- which is a problem in itself. "Why yes, your older brother is getting an ice cream sundae after dinner...no, you can have one small oatmeal cookie." It goes over great...not. Usually, we try to wait until the younger two are asleep, and then get out the whip cream bottle and the chocolate sauce. Still, it is impossible for the younger two not to notice to some extent.
Also, this means that I HAVE to have a strong division in my head between MY food and the rest of the food. The other stuff IS NOT ON MY PLAN so I will not eat it. Somedays are easier than others, but it has, over time, gotten easier and easier as my eating has become more ingrained.
As for cooking dinner, they eat what I make...or they do not eat -- except for a limited number of healthy "choices" like peanut butter on whole wheat and an apple, etc. Generally, however, I make kid friendly food, like baked chicken, other lean meats, veggies and a starch they like. Or, if they are having something like spaghetti, I throw together a meal for myself of a yogurt mixed up with whole grain cereal and a cut up apple or a banana.
Kids make this harder, but it is doable...and I would say that my family is eating "better" as a whole since my husband and I started our new lifestyle.
DD has Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and some other disabilities, including a really strong gag reflex and a very strong sense of taste/smell. My response tended to be "Fine, don't eat," or to offer her a bland food that she'll eat but isn't fond of. Her dad took her out and bought her Wendy's chicken nuggets meals. This has been the biggest bone of contention in our entire marriage - going to the cupboard, and discovering that the 2 of them have stocked up with Count Chocula instead of Cheerios or Raisin Bran.
Daughter is now 19, and wants to lose weight. She also doesn't want to eat and vegetables, fruit, or unfried chicken. And it's my fault. I have offered to teach her to cook low-fat, and have several good cookbooks, and suggested that we cook together. Nope - she goes to the web, and searches for recipes, and selects what sounds good to her. I didn't think it was possible to get more calories into egg salad than I used to, now I watch the mayo, and use only reduced-fat, and add chopped veggies (when I eat this, and then only rarely). Her recipes all have no veggies, and she measures the mayo by the cup, not by eyeing to make sure that you have only used the minimum mayonnaise.
She is angry with me because I'm losing weight and she's not.
I am trying to make this about eating healthy, and teaching her about healthy, but I'm not doing too well with it. It's just not my fault that corn and peas have more calories than broccoli! I'm concentrating on just presenting facts, and then refusing to accept blame for them.
Last edited by KristasMom; 01-05-2009 at 02:27 PM.
Who else is doing this with kids?
