[katiejames]

i am on my way out the door to the gym right now i have a lil bit of a vent though... i have a close friend who says all the time that she is gonna lose weight.. she didnt get a gym membership with me but at curves ( which is fine except she never goes) and i was telling her about this site and how i really like it. i was also showing her my meal plans for the week and trying to show her that we can do this together. ( she is maybe 320 lbs) my beef is that she didnt seem interested. i want to help motivate her because she tells me all the time that she wants to lose weight but i am afraid that she will resent me if i say something i shouldnt. so i just kinda keep quiet. i figure she will do this when she is ready.. kinda like a drug addict or alcoholic... i guess i had no real question just a frustration.

[Beautiful Ace]

That sucks! I know what you mean in a way. Me and another fellow size 24er, decided to lose weight together. She was going to be my buddy and we were going to motivate each other. She talked about it with me with as much enthusiasm as I had. She said our official date was going to be the 6th of the next month. Well, the 6th came, and then one excuse after the other started coming also. I gave up on her, but I really wish that she could have just not got my hopes up about her being my buddy...

I guess that really isn't helping you, but yeh, that was my frustration with my friend.

damnit.. somehow I always find a way to talk about myself in other people threads.. I should stop that . lol

[GatorgalstuckinGA]

i would just be a good friend and hang with her. Don't worry about her loosing weight. If and when she decides to do it...she may ask for your help and support. But until she is ready to lose weight, if you are constantly getting on to her about different things, she may start to resent it. It would be nice to have a work out friend/wt loss friend, but in reality..you will have to learn to do it by yourself. Ultimately you can only be incharge of yourself. Just keep up your hard work and your friend may become motivated by your wt loss. good luck!

[MindiV]

I agree with Gatorgal....just continue to be her friend, and do your own thing. As she sees YOUR losses and triumphs, it may motivate her to finally get started. If she asks you questions, answer them honestly. But if you push it on her, she'll end up resenting you. She has to want to do it for it to work!

[katiejames]

i totally agree with you mindiv and gatorgal! and beautifal ace.. no worries on talking about yourself in my threads.. in am the same way! lol

[nicolen]

Katie, I'm a firm believer that 90% of weight loss is being in the right head space. Your friend probably knows exactly how to go about losing weight, but perhaps she's not in the same head space as you are. Definitely keep up what you're doing and I'm sure you'll be an inspiration to her. When she's ready, you can encourage her!

[JulieJ08]

Yeah, you already know she has to be ready for herself. You can't do anything about that. You'll only make her feel bad or angry if you try to push her on your time. But don't underestimate the power of your example over time