I know you guys would understand... - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

ValRock · 10-20-2008, 01:11 PM

I'm just feeling kind of down today

.

I went clothes shopping yesterday and I couldn't find anything that fit right. I desperately need a sweater or sweatshirt and everything is too snug or too short

. It was a big self esteem killer and dangit I'm COLD!

I'm ashamed of myself for making it to goal weight and then packing all the LBS back on when I was pregnant with and nursing DD.

I'm going to visit my family in November and aside from my mom they're all TINY. I'm adopted so I wasn't blessed with my cousin's genetics. I know they're critical of me and it's hard to deal with. I'm terrified to go see them at this weight. The last time they saw me I was 165... it's a big difference.

*sigh*

Thanks for listening.

Scarlett · 10-20-2008, 01:17 PM

Just to let you know EVERYONE has bad shopping days. I'm a size 12 (which is in normal sizes). I went to the used clothing store looking for jeans the other day and literally had to try on 10 pairs to find an 'acceptable' pair. I left feeling like the biggest fatso in the world.

Don't focus on the past, you are where you are now, and stressing about how you got there wont change anything.

Don't feel like you need to apoligize for being overweight, it's your body not theirs...you could pack on 800# and it wouldn't be any of their damn buisness. Don't let them make you feel small. one of my favorite quotes

"noone can make you feel inferiour without your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt

If someone says something just politely say..I just had a baby, and I am working to get the weight off then change the subject.

ValRock · 10-20-2008, 01:19 PM

Well... the baby is 9 months old. So I have no excuses. *sigh*

PhotoChick · 10-20-2008, 01:22 PM

Oh I'm there with you. Honestly ... I have no long sleeved tops anymore that fit. But I went to the stores this weekend and *everything* is cut formfitting right now. I have lost a good bit of weight and I don't mind things that are cut to my shape, but all the sweaters CLING ... and right now I'm not in a place where I appreciate cling.

I was so frustrated this weekend. I wound up buying one light weight turtleneck in a size that is probably too large, but I couldn't deal with the cling in the "right" size.

*sigh* Damn winter anyway. I always loved the season because I could wear big, bulky sweaters and "hide" my fat.

Now ... I'm just at that miserable in-between stage where nothing works.

.

SavingServo · 10-20-2008, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ValRock

Well... the baby is 9 months old. So I have no excuses. *sigh*

You've already lost 30lbs! That's 3 pounds a month if you started on a diet the second you gave birth. That's nothing to scoff at. Keep at it and the rest will come off. Slow and steady wins the race.

Kofarq · 10-20-2008, 01:56 PM

Yes, 30 lbs is great! Go to the second-hand store and pick up a few sweaters to tide you over until the rest of the weight comes off.

ValRock · 10-20-2008, 02:06 PM

Thanks for the encouragement...

I live in an extremely small town. I doubt anything at the second hand store would fit my massively huge self....

I have no idea what I'm going to wear the week I'm visiting my parents. Maybe a burlap sack.... and one over my head too.

RangerChic · 10-20-2008, 02:06 PM

I know it's hard, but you have to keep your head up high and think positively. You're on a journey and you're working hard, so be proud of that.

Spoz · 10-20-2008, 02:35 PM

You know what, the best thing you can do when you visit you're family is hold you're head up and be proud! You're doing fantastic, and family love you regardless of you're size. You're losing this weight for you're own reasons not theirs and though it might be difficult you need to face them and be yourself. As leenie says it's a journey, so there might be bad days, but there will be highlights too

JulieJ08 · 10-20-2008, 02:52 PM

People pick up on how you expect them to treat you. They will feed on your low self-esteem if they can smell it. Your worth has NOTHING to do with your weight. Are all those tiny family members perfect and in control of everything in their lives? Obviously not. If they think the simple fact that you struggle with something visible makes their critical selves superior to you - well, that gives you a reason to hold your head high, because you just have extra weight and are getting healthier. They have character problems.

Smiling_Sara · 10-20-2008, 03:08 PM

Quote:

I know they're critical of me

this sentence stuck out to me. Why are they? Do you have their own insecutites that they have to make you feel bad about yourself? If they love you, what you weigh is not even going to matter in the least. If it does, I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. On a positive note, you have done this before, so you know it's possible and you will get there again! Hang in there!!

FreeSpirit · 10-20-2008, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhotoChick

Oh I'm there with you. Honestly ... I have no long sleeved tops anymore that fit. But I went to the stores this weekend and *everything* is cut formfitting right now. I have lost a good bit of weight and I don't mind things that are cut to my shape, but all the sweaters CLING ... and right now I'm not in a place where I appreciate cling.

I was so frustrated this weekend. I wound up buying one light weight turtleneck in a size that is probably too large, but I couldn't deal with the cling in the "right" size.

*sigh* Damn winter anyway. I always loved the season because I could wear big, bulky sweaters and "hide" my fat.

Now ... I'm just at that miserable in-between stage where nothing works.

.

Damn that inbetween stage! I'm right inbetween a medium and a small. Mediums are kind of baggy and fit weird, while smalls cling to me like saran wrap. It's irritating and frustrating to buy clothes.

I try to avoid shopping at all costs now a days, unless it's at the goodwill, and in that case the only reason I'm really going is to get sweaters. I'm ALWAYS cold. It makes me miserable. I'm hoping I don't have to go shopping again until I'm at goal, but we'll see...

Thinnerinnerme · 10-20-2008, 03:34 PM

I'm completely with you. Thank goodness it's time to shop for layers and not bathing suits. Don't let it derail you. Just take a break and go again when you are feeling a little more confident. You'll get back to where you were. It just takes time.

ValRock · 10-20-2008, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BornToFly

this sentence stuck out to me. Why are they? Do you have their own insecutites that they have to make you feel bad about yourself? If they love you, what you weigh is not even going to matter in the least. If it does, I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. On a positive note, you have done this before, so you know it's possible and you will get there again! Hang in there!!

I have one cousin in particular that has been a size 0 her whole life. She's exactly my age and she's made snide comments about me behind my back since we were kids. I know it's petty but she continues to do it and it's hurtful! My brother always stands up for me and I LOVE him for it... but he shouldn't have to.. ya know?

Smiling_Sara · 10-20-2008, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ValRock

I have one cousin in particular that has been a size 0 her whole life. She's exactly my age and she's made snide comments about me behind my back since we were kids. I know it's petty but she continues to do it and it's hurtful! My brother always stands up for me and I LOVE him for it... but he shouldn't have to.. ya know?

That's terrible of your cousin. She must have some deeper issues with herself, bc ppl who make snide comments to others do so bc it makes them feel like the bigger person and that they have control. I know that your brother shouldn't have to stand up for you, but he does so bc he loves you. I have a brother like that as well that if anyone made bad comments towards my weight he'd be on them in a heartbeat. Thankfully, ( as far as I know ) nobody in my family has made snide comments about my weight ( and I'm one of the bigger ones in the family )