Unfaithful.
Dear Fat Smash Diet,
This is the kind of letter that I never wanted to write, but if I don't admit this to you now, I fear that I won't appreciate the full extent of my guilt. Without admission, one can pretend that something like this never happened. I feel I owe it to you to let you know what has been going on.
We've been together for seven days now. I remember fondly our brief interlude back in February 2008. You didn't fail me, and although I strayed momentarily, I stuck by your side and recommitted to you without question. These seven days have been bittersweet. Sure, we've had our moments. Our struggles. But I made a promise not to jeporadize our success. I was able to turn away from temptation.
Last night, however, I was not so strong.
I became intimately involved with Pasta last night. And Cookie. And half of Cookie's family. I never imagined that one slip up would turn into a group affair, but it did. And I am so, so sorry for it.
I was doing good for a long time last night. Pasta was invited to dinner with my children last night. I was able to avoid Pasta the entire time I was cooking. I even sat in the other room while my children and Pasta were at dinner. I immediately put Pasta away afterwards without so much as a nibble. I thought I was doing ok. But Diet, I started to get so angry and moody. Pasta and his sweet carby goodness was calling my name, and it was getting impossible to ignore.
It started off with a small taste. I swore I would only have one mouthful, and then I would put Pasta away. The flavor was irresistable, so I had another small taste. Then another. It turned into 5 or 6 tastes. I hid Pasta behind Vegetarian Chili and shut the fridge door. Then, I remembered Cookie and headed over to the counter. Cookie looked so appetizing as he hung out with his family in Ziplock Bag. I flirted cautiously with Cookie, reminding myself that no matter how good he may be, he was all about big butts and would set up camp on mine in a heartbeat. But, darn it Cookie... why do you have to look so chewy and soft???
I did what I always do when making poor decisions. I knew the consequences, but pushed them out of my head and pretended that they did not exist. I ventured into Ziplock and pulled Cookie out. Then, in a moment of impulsivity, I invited along two of Cookie's relatives. Crazy, I know. And kind of sick and twisted. I blame it on my Adult ADD. Impulsive choices with no thought of the consequences. Cookie, his family members and I retreated to the livingroom and snuggled up on the couch. We spent a few glorious minutes there, savoring each other, and far too soon I had finished. I felt empty and unsatisfied. So, I went back to Ziplock and coaxed a few more relatives out for some alone time.
I felt guilty, and almost sick to my stomach. I am not sure if that was from guilt or sugar overload... but it was not pleasant. But, it did not deter me. I went back and gobbled up the rest of Pasta... and had a few more of Cookie's kin. It was insanity. And I am so sorry for it.
This morning, my resolve was still shaky. English Muffin and Cream Cheese got wind of the Consumption Dysfunction going on at my house, and decided to muscle their way into breakfast time. I couldn't resist. I had three sessions with the both of them, and I finally had enough. I can feel the difference in myself, and I don't like it. My best friend tried to rationalize with me this morning, saying "Perhaps you just needed to get it out of your system." I'm not so sure. That sounds like something an Alcoholic would say to make light of a heavy night of binge drinking. The ruish I got from the surging carbs and sugar was intoxicating... but the way I feel afterwards is disgusting. I have the sweats, a headache and a huge feeling of guilt.
I am so sorry to have strayed so far from you, Dear Fat Smash Diet. I promise to tolerate, recommit and stick with you until goal weight do us reach. Through good times and through bad, through cheating and overeating, through carb highs and stomach upset. I will stick with you because you have never let me down.
Love,
FromShanToSlim
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You and fat smash diet should attend couples counseling. 
