I've had an epiphany. All these years, all this time, the multiple attempts (some successful, some not-so!) to lose weight, and it's suddenly occurred to me.
See, previously I've been looking for motivation. I've looked externally and internally, with internet forums, weight loss support groups and meditation. I've hunted high and low for that magical motivating factor, the one thing that was going to jump out and hit me over the head, resulting in everlasting weight loss and the release of the skinny chick inside me just waiting to come out.
But all this time it wasn't motivation I needed. What I need in this journey to a healthier me isn't something to make me do it. Motivation isn't the answer. As the NIKE ads tell us, I just need to do it!
If I was to wait for motivation to strike, I'd still be at my beginning weight. You see, I want to lose weight, but I don't want to have to work at it. I want it to just happen.
Well guess what people? THAT IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN! It is hard work. Planning, organising, exercising, buying new clothes as the old ones get smaller, it all takes work. And money. And it is NEVER going to get easy.
But sometimes you have to work hard for something. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it, and the sense of achievement I feel at being 4.8kg (10.5 lb) lighter than I was 2 months ago would not exist. I wouldn't know the exhilarating feeling of staggering through the jogging components of the Couch to 5K program. I wouldn't realise how empowering it is to say no to food that I know is unhealthy, high in fat and sugar, and that I don't really want because I am still full from lunch.
This is a ramble. And a lot of you, especially those who have been around these parts for a while have already realised this. I apologise, but I just needed to let you all know that I now realise as well! Due in no small part to the wonderful people on this forum, I might add.
So there you go. Ruth's realisation for the week. Motivation doesn't exist. Just do it!