[christy82]

My name is Christy and I am really worried about developing an eating disorder. Over the past two years I have lost alot of wieght and still continue to lose a little. I want to stop losing wieght sometimes-on good days when I know that I am at a healthy wieght. On other days-the bad ones-I feel so guilty everytime i eat I just want to hide somewhere and cry. I am always irritable, I think about calories and what I am allowed to eat constantly, and I also lecture my family and friends about what they are eating. Sometimes I can go a weekend or so and not feel guilty at all. then I eat whatever I feel like. Then comes Monday and I obsess all week over it. My mom saw me two days ago for the first time in a year and she started crying because she said I was too thin. She pointed out that you can see the bones on my back and shoulders, and that my arms are too thin. I had always been proud of the fact that you can see them but her reaction made me realize how unnattractive it is. I feel so emotionally drained and so tired of it all. i would love to just give up and eat whatever I want whenever I want. But I could never do that because I really think I would have a breakdown or something. I am confused about this though because I don't starve myself really. I make sure I eat under 1200 calories a day but that is the only limit I put on myself. Oh, I watch sugar and fat content in my food too. I eat when I am hungry which is every two hours usually. I just eat things like salad, fruit, oatmeal, cereal, chicken ect... Is this healthy? Am I just overreacting? I took the EAT-26 which tests for eating disorders. I scored a 46 when you are supposed to score under 20 to be considered healthy. Do any of yall have any suggestions or insight?

[sonny]

Hi Christy, my suggestiont to you is to find a nutritionist in your area that deals with eating disorders and give her/him a call. Tell this person everything that you have said here and they will be able to help you find a healthier eating pattern for you. I know that you think you are doing the right thing, but 1200 cal is for weight loss, not to maintain a healthy weight for a young, active, healthy girl. You are starving yourself, though you may not think so. I know when you lose weight you are petrified you will gain it back, or you are so used to a pattern for weight loss it is hard to break, but if you don't you could be headed for more serious eating disorders. I have many disorders over many years, starting at 16, last being treated at age 37. At that point I was obsessed with exersice and calorie/fat counting, keeping a food journal of everything I put in my mouth. All this once again led to my purging ( which for me is a control thing). My point is I can remember my therapist literally yelling at me that I had an eating disorder. I argued with her saying I was eating (however little it was) and exercising, I was trying to be healthy. She would get so frustrated with me and tell me I had a "nonspecific" disorder. We do not always have to fall into a category. We can be a little of this and a little of that. Anyways I do not want to preach or ramble. I hope you find someone in your area that you can talk to. Just give it a try. Take care of yourself

[LADYBUGZ_247]

Hello Christy,
Well I can relate to you what you are saying I mean it's hard to say that you are starving yourself because you are eating but I guess you should go with your instinct you no if you feel in your heart that you might have a problem then like Sonny said go see a nutritionist but only you no what is normal for your body but anyways girl just keep eating even if they are small meals because it may just be the way you are I have cousins that can eat !! and they are 21 and have the bodies of 10 year olds they are really thin I mean you can actually see their chest bones and thats just the way they are they have always been that way and we are hispanic we eat alot of tortilla and a bunch of greasy stuff so I know that they are getting plenty of fat in their diets so like I said go with your instincts well let us all know how you are doing take care !!
Ladybugz_247

[sonny]

Christy, I didn't mean to go on like I did. I have alot of issues as I am sure you can tell. You have to do what is right for you, what you are comfortable with. I just want you to feel good and not obsess over food anymore. I didn't mean to preach or tell you what to do, I just don't want anyone to have to go through some of the things I have, if they don't have to. Do what you think is right for you and take care of yourself.