I'm a calorie counter, and I've been successfully losing and maintaining over the course of years now. Sure, I've gotten off course from time to time, but never too badly and never for long. Now I'm only about 10 lbs. from goal (or at least I was last week).
I had a couple of meals out last weekend when my SO and I had company in town. No big deal. I go out about once a week or every other week anyway, and even if I splurge I'm back to plan right away.
Not this time. I've been on a nonstop binge ever since, or at least on and off. I've probably eaten well over 3000 calories four or five days out of the last week. Usually I would know, but I've stopped keeping track which is really weird for me. Normally I track calories even when I'm off plan (except on vacation, but then I'm so active I always break even). But now I've been just mindlessly stuffing my face, eating PB from the jar, cereal from the box, yogurt from the tub. Thank goodness we don't have anything much worse than that in the house!
I've been worst while my SO is at work. I work from home and that's been a factor in my favor this whole time because I can have complete control over what and when I eat. But now it just gives me the privacy to eat and eat and eat all day. So, thinking it was a big step, I confessed to my SO, but he doesn't get it! He said that I'm so healthy and active all the time, it's no big deal, I should just relax and it will pass. I appreciate that he's not shaming me or being critical but I need a harsh reality check now.
I've never experienced this kind of mindless, endless, binging before. I've had treats, and I've eaten too much sometimes, but this is qualitatively different. I feel totally out of control! And embarrassed, too.
Maybe it's because you're so close to goal that subconsciously you feel like let me get all my fat girl eating out of my system before the "new" me is here and then I won't ever be able to go back to it..??
I mean realistically we all know you can hit your goal, maintain, and still venture back to binge eating or just unhealthy eating period, but psychologically, I think there is more shame to eating this way when you are at your perceived ideal body/weight so you're trying to get it all over with?? of course in the process you're delaying your hitting goal, again, maybe because it signals an end to "mindless eating". It's one thing to be as deliberate as most of us have to be with our eating when losing weight, but facing that as a prospect for the rest of our lives is overwhelming. Of course the longer it takes to lose the weight, more naturally ingrained these habits become for us, and sounds like for you they pretty much have, but you're just having a last minute freak out. Great, hope you enjoyed those calories. BUT STOP IT NOW AND GET TO THAT DAMN GOAL FOR ALL OF US WHO AREN'T JUST TEN POUNDS AWAY WOULD YOU!!
Great, hope you enjoyed those calories. BUT STOP IT NOW AND GET TO THAT DAMN GOAL FOR ALL OF US WHO AREN'T JUST TEN POUNDS AWAY WOULD YOU!!
...was that a harsh enough reality check?
Not from you, Sugar! We're the same weight now and you're two inches taller! But since you live in NYC where the sexy bar is higher, I'll take it.
I think you're on to something with the last minute freakout theory. Now I just have to figure out how to end it. I'm afraid if I counter it by being stricter than before, I'll just continue to rebel.
Maybe instead of going right back to 1500-1600, which is where I left off, I should start a bit higher and work my way back down? Or, should I start lower to get used to reduced calories again right away? I don't know...
I think you're on to something with the last minute freakout theory. Now I just have to figure out how to end it. I'm afraid if I counter it by being stricter than before, I'll just continue to rebel.
Maybe instead of going right back to 1500-1600, which is where I left off, I should start a bit higher and work my way back down? Or, should I start lower to get used to reduced calories again right away? I don't know...
I'm thinking maybe even eat at maintenance levels for a while? That way, you can "preview" your maintenance options, build your maintenance habits and and give your body and mind some time to regroup. When you feel you've regained your balance, you could gradually ease into reducing the calories again.
Listen lady, same weight or not, your 148 getting down from 180s i'm sure is quite different from my 148, two inches taller or not. I was actually at 175 at my highest many years ago. Got down to 150 and my weight has stayed around 145-150 for the most part for YEARS. So imagine when I got on the scale to find out I was at 155... eeek. To me, that meant, I'm heading back to nearly 180 and panicked and found this website, which I LOVE!!! So now I'm at 148 but trust me, this is queen of muffin top 148. I swear all of the extra 25 pounds are all in the middle and there aint nothing cute about it. And forget the sexy bar being higher in NY, its higher in my house, with my petite svelte 105 lb sister!!!!!! (and this, btw, is her highest lb!) Anyway, this is irrelevant to your issue, just wanted to reiterate that its body fat and not weight and frankly I'd be happy weighing 150 lbs or more, if it was a fit 150. I, however, am a marshmallow.
My inclination would be to be stricter for a couple of days to ward off any extra poundage that may want to creep back due to the binge eating, but, if you're saying that will make you rebel, then it defeats the purpose.. so do what you can lady!!! You've done amazing so far no reason to believe this itty bitty little binge thing is insurmountable, right?! RIght!!
I'm thinking maybe even eat at maintenance levels for a while? That way, you can "preview" your maintenance options, build your maintenance habits and and give your body and mind some time to regroup. When you feel you've regained your balance, you could gradually ease into reducing the calories again.
I'm liking the idea of eating at maintenance levels. It's kinda how I've gotten to where I am now. I used to weigh 265 and now I'm 225. With the help of a great website, I figured out how much I needed to eat to maintain my goal weight at the level of exercise I expect to maintain. It helps me lose the extra because it isn't enough calories to sustain the weight I am, and it helps me get used to the options I have to maintain my goal weight. I still have problems binging but my philosophy is that the great thing about life is that at any given time you can start over. I try not to wait until the next day to start over. I try to start over right now. It's hard not to hate yourself for being so "weak" but I've also found that once I've truly started over and given myself time to feel better physically and emotionally it's a lot easier.
Surprised to find myself here...
