I have gone from 350lbs to now 284lbs by eating only 3 healthy meals a day and getting more active however.....the past few weeks I have been eating at night and my meals are magically getting a little bit larger, its getting worse and worse....I feel like im losing control and im so terrified that im going to become even more overweight again.....Does anyone have ANY suggestions? I feel like im fighting for my life. I know that sounds dramatic, but its honestly how I feel atm.
I feel like I could have written the exact same thing you did about a year ago.. I was doing SO well, and all of a sudden, I began to reverse all the positive changes I had made in my life! Eeek!! Before I say anything else though, CONGRATULATIONS on your amazing weight loss so far!!
For myself, I think it was that I was scared. I had reached a weight that for me, signified something specific. I was starting to look better and moving out of the "wow, I look obese" into the "I don't look very big" category" - and I think on some level, that really scared me. It was a weight I hadn't been at in 4 years (since starting university - so in a way, an entire period in my life) and also one that I used to consider "my highest weight ever" when I was in high school (until I truly rose in lbs) - so getting below that weight really meant to me that I was seriously getting thinner. And on some level, that terrified me. Consciously, I didn't feel very scared. But when I took time to think about it and listened to my inner feelings.. I think I was scared. It sounds CRAZY - I know - but, am I ready to never be fat again? I seriously hate all the crap that goes along with being this size.. but I feel like it's all I've ever known. Despite all the wishing and crying I've done about my weight, staying overweight has served me a purpose. So letting go of that would mean that my life would change FOREVER - and maybe I hadn't prepared myself for that.
Okay, that's a long tangent about why I think I stopped my efforts and let go. The thing is, while the reasons can be different for each of us, I believe that we each have reasons.. it's like we're sabotaging ourselves in a way. And since every action we take is basically driven by the desire to feel good.. on some level "sabotaging" our efforts/ourselves is driven by the feeling/thought/belief that it will make us feel good.
That makes so much sense inside my own head.. I hope it also makes sense outside it! I know I've read other discussions about this here (on 3FC), and basically it's important to figure out the reason behind the sudden change in order to be able to work through it in ways other than self-sabotage After all, you've worked so hard and done so amazingly!!!
You need to get re-inspired~
I agree with Beautifulone, I had a similar experience.
I'd always been overweight..
When I hit 192, I decided to try and lose weight..
Eventually I went down to 148.. (my lowest) and the thinnest
I'd ever looked. It happened very quickly.. right after I graduated high school, during when I had a fallout with my friends, and also during the time I held my first real job. I had a lot going on.. and once I got down to a weight where I really felt comfortable in my own body, and felt better than I'd ever felt.. I felt a lot of me was changing. I was also transitioning into a new period in life.. college.
In truth, it overwhelmed me. It was weird feeling.. "normal" and average. I had never felt like that before.. and I was around new people, getting attention I'd never gotten before.. wearing clothes I felt good in.
When I was bigger, I'd wear clothes to "compliment" my body and sometimes when I felt confident about myself, I'd catch myself in the mirror.. and it would be a total letdown.. I'd be so miserable!
It is such a.. weird.. and different feeling to always feel confident, and to look in the mirror and really be happy with it.
The point I'm trying to make is.. it can be very overwhelming and scary, even though it's what we want, once we really see progress and realize we can do this.. it is like.. that THIN person you want to be is almost there, but it's.. almost alien to you.
Anyway.. I ended up gaining 20 lbs. I tried here and there to control my eating but honestly, it was tough, especially the first time I'd been outside of home and getting access to all this food I couldn't eat at home.
The thing is.. as negative as it can sound..
You need to remember why you wanted to lose weight in the first place. You need to remember all the negatives so you can keep moving towards the positive. It might be scary or tiring to keep moving, but it's better than moving backwards.
So I suggest you surround yourself with things that remind you of your journey. When I feel like I'm losing control, and it's getting me depressed.. and I'm eating to alleviate it.. instead of struggling.. I tell myself, OKAY, I know this is bad for me, I'm going to enjoy it for this moment with the PROMISE that I will get back on track. IDK, it helps me because when I accept it, acknowledge that it's bad, I don't feel bad about it.. (I know it sounds weird). I do this because.. there are times where I struggle to control myself WHILE I'm eating food I shouldn't eat, I don't enjoy it, and I end up beating myself up which leads to negative thoughts which make it VERY hard to get back on track.
So, if it's really that bad and you're not feeling strong enough to get back on track the same day, let yourself acknowledge it (don't binge), and make a promise to yourself that you'll start on a certain day. Kinda like.. separating why you're eating. Instead of fighting yourself, acknowledge what you're doing, tell yourself.. alright... I'm going to enjoy this piece of food with no attachment to my diet or weight. It's a method I use because I feel like when I'm feeling low about my weight, and I get angry at myself for eating.. it gets to that whole "whats the point" time and I start binging, but when I look at the food for what it is and just enjoy it.. Afterwards I don't dwell on that piece of food b/c I already accepted it, then I just tell myself "okay, so now it's time to get back on track, I enjoyed that little "unplanned vacation" but in the end I want to lose weight, so I'm going to get back on my plan starting _______. I know a lot people just say to remind yourself at that moment, but it can be really tough and for me, this method works when I've REALLY hit the bottom.
Sometimes it gets tiring to constantly be mentally strong, and there are times where it gets the best of you,and instead of struggling through that, you need to step back and re-evaluate until you know you are ready to get through it.
Sometimes I need a little more to get going.. personally I get re-inspired by looking at healthy recipes that I can try cooking, at cute clothes I want to wear, admiring the progress I'm making, and then I tell someone about my struggle, so it becomes a "real" thing, rather than just an isolated struggle.
Last edited by Starrynight; 06-13-2008 at 12:52 AM.
Okay....number one: take a deep breath. Calm down. You can do this!
I know you feel overwhelmed right now, but you know what? It's great that you are recognizing this NOW before it becomes a real problem.
Here are a few suggestions:
- Set a time that you will stop eating every day; for example, 7pm. Or, you can make the decision to not eat anything after dinner! Try brushing your teeth, flossing, and/or using mouthwash about a half hour after dinner. Then, you'll know that if you eat, you're just going to have to do it all over again. If you do get hungry, drink a glass of water or tea; if you are still starving after that, allow yourself one piece of fruit - and that's it. Going to bed a little hungry never hurt anyone, and once you stop eating at night for a week or so your body will start to adjust.
- Record what you eat. If you force yourself to be honest on paper about the calories you're consuming, it may help you to make better food choices and portion sizes.
- Take smaller portions of food, reminding yourself that you can ALWAYS get more if you are still truly hungry. Eat slowly and allow your body time to recognize that it is full.
You have lost 66lbs so far, and that is an amazing accomplishment! I'm sure you don't want to ruin all the hard work you have put in thus far, and if you have reached this point, it's clear that you are capable of reaching your goal weight.
I really agree with the starrynight and beautifulone. In my experience, the change can really be jarring. I'll refrain from repeating what they've said, because they describe that feeling so well, but just wanted to say that I, too, have been there. One thing that was interesting this time around was that I, like Starrynight, began to mindfully binge. I saw what I was doing, allowed myself to do it if absolutely necessary, and giving myself that permission really helped me get back on track when I was ready. Often, this was during really stressful times, when food was the only comfort I could find. And despite all the wisdom (if hunger isn't the problem, then food isn't the solution, etc) that I tried to believe in, sometimes, I was unable to turn away. But by forgiving myself this, and moving on, I was back OP much more quickly, and much less drastically bingeing, too, because I would check in -- "how do you feel now that you ate all that cereal? Better?"
Good luck. And one thing, keep on posting! That is another thing that always helps me keep at least a little focus!
S
Hi there, I saw that you're from Arkansas. I'm from Arkansas but moved to Cali 3 1/2 months ago. First, let me say losing that much when you live in the south is an accomplishment in itself. Gotta love all that southern cooking.
As I reading your post and then everyone elses, I felt overwhelmed with compassion for you. I know how you feel, maybe not in weight because I haven't lost a whole lot but in other things. My mindset has always been, if only. I would do this or be happier if only. For example, things will be better when I get the cord to my ipod so I can listen in the car, I get it and then I'm like "oh that's good, but now I want better music", so I download all this music on there, and it doesn't make me feel any better. This type of thing happens to me all the time. I'm finally to the point that I can't live my life with the "if only" mind set. If I live like that, then I will never enjoy the moment now.
Yes, you are having a hard time, but look what you've done. You recognize that you are having a rough time, and you reach out for help. I think that's amazing and it shows how brave you are. You could have just kept spiraling and never said anything and just withdrew, but you didn't!
You are brave and courageous. You know yourself better than anyone. Is there something going on in your life or even in your mind that you thought that if only I can lose 60 lbs I would be happy? If that's the case, then maybe that is why you don't care what you are eating because you had a goal for how you would be feeling emotionally and it's not the case.
Here is my suggestion, I know it may sound funny, but this really helps me. Write a list of 100 things that you are thankful for. I know it sounds like a lot, but just write it. It can be anything. I'm thankful that the sun is shining. I'm thankful I have a bed. I'm thankful that I have a car. I'm thankful I didn't eat that piece of cake. Whatever it is just write it down. I really think that after you write those things, you'll see that there is a lot to be thankful for and you can live now instead of living tomorrow. I hope this make sense. Let me know how it goes.
It's a GOOD THING that you are sweating about this!
I don't mean to sounds like one of the horsemen of the Apocalypse, but in order to maintain any sort of weight loss, you have to be willing to recognize these backslides and nip them in the bud. It takes constant diligence.
That said, backslides happen. Life happens. Regains (unfortunately) happen. The good thing is that you are cognizant of the problem while you are going through the process.
Maybe you can focus on maintaining for a while so that you have some breathing room to get your head back in the game?
You seem to know what you're up against and the fact that you've lost 66 pounds so far is amazing! These backslides happen to the best of us. Just re-focus and get back on the horse. You can do this!
My suggestion is start using a salad plate for dinner instead of a large one and eat with a salad fork.
And I also agree with stop eating at night. I started to eat my dinner later in the evening about 7 or 8 because I am usually up till 11 or 12 and it helps with night snacking because I not hungry.
You are doing so well! 66 pounds is huge! Very inspirational to me. And it seems like you are really in touch with yourself and noticing that you maybe taking a step sideways - and that is amazing in itself!
66lbs lost but losing control again!
After all, you've worked so hard and done so amazingly!!!
