How to work through why I emotionally eat... - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

mcmoore75 · 06-10-2008, 12:29 AM

Hi there...

I have lurked on this forum for a long time. I suffer from binge eating and at times can REALLY struggle with it. I can relate to so many of the heartaches people talk about in this forum. The binging of food and the shame that goes along with it.

I have been binging nonstop for at least two months now and I am really feeling out of control. I wake up every morning saying OK...this is the day I will start eating better and by lunch time, I have begun binging and I pace through the kitchen trying to find things to eat for the remainder of the day.

I am dealing with some major family issues right now and this is one of the reasons that I am binging. I know I am trying to fill a void in my life and I use food to do that. This void is something that I have to come to terms with and live with...there is nothing I can do to change the void.

My question is, if I have identified WHY I am eating, how do I go about stopping the binges?

Any suggestions would be appreciated!

SoulBliss · 06-10-2008, 12:32 AM

I suggest therapy, journaling, self searching, so that you may learn to place limits on yourself and become consistent, to nurture yourself in ways that do not involve food and respect your body.

Shay · 06-10-2008, 12:52 AM

mcmoore75--From one fellow binger to another...my honest answer: There is not one specific answer. What works for one may not work for another. I know why I binge also and I've known for a long time. That did not stop me from bingeing. What has helped me has been intuitive eating. Being able to recognize if I am physically hungry versus emotionally hungry. Honoring my hunger and not having forbidden foods makes it easier for me. I've had some stops and starts along the way but I am on Day 78 of being binge free.

Besides intuitive eating, 3FC has helped tremendously. Blogging has helped. Not beating myself up along the way when I struggled. I also finally told my mom and BF that I am a binge eater. I am sorry I haven't been much help. I do agree with SoulBliss in that self awareness is key in figuring this out. Also know that although I am on Day 78 it is a consistent struggle for me.

Spoz · 06-10-2008, 06:13 AM

Okay mc, I go off plan a lot of the time and my binges can last for weeks and I think 'Omg, NEED to stop this. Tomorrow I'll do it' and what happens? I binge! So I can absolutely relate with the struggle to regain control. This was suggested to be on the forums and it really helped my reign in my binging, it might not work for you but it's worth a go! Plan. Write down your three meals and snacks (or whatever your diet includes) make sure you include enough food however, and stick to it. I find writing down what I'm going to eat I don't 'think' about what I want to eat all day and find it easier.

As for comfort eating I cant recommend behavioral therapy enough, you'll be able to address what it is you're eating for and it will absolutely dawn on you that food isn't the key to happiness. I really wish you great luck! Please keep us updated and remember that when you go off plan guilt is pointless and useless, the best way to deal with it is exercise and optimism.

Also something else - when you feel bad and are tempted to eat, pick up a pen and write down all of the reasons you want to lose weight and why binging wont help.

the slim me · 06-10-2008, 07:14 AM

I think this problem is a lot more common than we think. I wish I had an answer for you. I'm an emotional eater too. I think the other posts were right on. The only thing i have found to help me is dealing with the emotions and writing it down. That seems to release the tension. Also, I think it's a habit, one that you have to get yourself through. I have been know to stand and talk to myself!Ha!

shelby897 · 06-10-2008, 07:55 AM

Me too!!

No great words of wisdom coming from here, but support because I have spent the last 30 years of my 37 working on this. I always try to talk myself out of it -- I know I'm not hungry -- that I'm upset, disappointed, hurt, etc. -- feeling stuffed/sick on top of that has never relieved or removed these feelings, maybe suppressed them momentarily, but they will come back. I personally feel it is very important to understand this is nothing to be embarassed about, find someone (counselor, family member, etc.) to help you work through it.

Shay · 06-10-2008, 01:00 PM

mcmoore75--I forgot to say that I have talked to myself in the mirror too. I do some affirmations and attempt to talk myself out of binging. My sense of humor generally helps too when I am talking in the mirror.

moonbeam65 · 06-10-2008, 10:12 PM

I play the same mental game with binges saying that I will start fresh tomorrow. In reality, when I start right with the next meal, it's the only time when it works, the binge stops.

mcmoore75 · 06-10-2008, 11:46 PM

Thanks everyone for the support.

It seems a lot of you use affirmations and a lot of self talk.

Spoz - I like your idea of planning the meals for the next day. I am going to do this tomorrow...maybe I will start a Thread so I can be accountable to someone...

Thanks again...

preetyladyserenity · 06-11-2008, 06:33 AM

I know this is a weird thing to do but it works for me.

I used to be an emotional eater. I tended do binge when I was depressed and when I am extremely anxious and stressed about something. I still want to binge mind you, but this is how I fight the urge off. Every time I am depressed or extremely anxious I doll up. I wear my most sexy and beautiful casual outfit, fix my hair, wear my make-up and stand in front of the mirror and admire myself. I don't know if I am extremely vain or something but it is an instant boost for me. I think "Wow, I am gorgeous and imagine how the guys will be all over me when I lose all this extra weight". And boom, back on track.

oea · 06-11-2008, 10:09 AM

Reading these posts are amazing because I didn't even realize until recently that binge eating was a problem other people had too. It was only reading that book 'The Good Eater' that I realized this was not just me. I've spent my life eating in binges, hiding food, eating other people's food, etc. It has been awful.

The thing is, while I know I'm an emotional eater, and I know that this can be a big key to my eating, I can't figure out how to get from point A (defining the problem) to point B (making a change in eating habits). How do we turn recognition of an emotional problem and dealing with it (therapy, meditation, whatever) into an actual change in habit? Once a therapist told me I needed to figure out who I was really mad at and why I was harming myself with food. Since then, I've figured so much out but I can't figure out how to translate that into food control. As others mentioned too, I wake up every morning with good intentions and by lunch, they're worthless.

Michanaver · 06-11-2008, 10:33 AM

This is what helps me, when i walk into the kitchen i ask myself, Are you really hungry?? then I get a bottled water and a crystal light and shake it up wait 20 min. and the craving passes! It sucks sometimes i realize I may just need to feel sorry for myself for a minute and then get up moving and try to get over! I am a spiritual person I usally realize I am not grounded and try to rebalance myself... carry a stone or a charm with you to help remind you that your in control! I hope it helps .....best of luck

caloriecountingcarla · 06-11-2008, 12:53 PM

I am a binge eater as well as a COE. I am also a recovering alcoholic. In the past I have had an issue with both shopping and drugs. All of these addictive behaviors are a way of somehow filling a void in my life. I don't know what that void is, where it came from or why I have struggled with this my whole life. And now in middle age I suffer from depression. I KNOW the answer is therapy. I have health insurance but it does not cover any kind of couseling. I've been doing some research, trying to find someone who will treat me on a sliding scale. Outside looking in, it would appear my life is good. I have a man who loves me, friends who care about me, a good job, a nice home. But yet I have searched for happiness my whole life.

I know I have given you no answers, only because I have none. Believe me, you are NOT alone!

Keep on keeping on.
Carla

wistfulgirl · 06-11-2008, 04:52 PM

I really agree with the Spoz's idea of planning. Even though it seems like all the planning is overkill, it's very important-- otherwise the gross food sneaks back in and takes over!

I think posting on this website really helps with accountability too.

Additionally I think Carla is right on the mark when she talks about an addictive personality. I also smoked for 29 years (until last Summer; thank Goodness for Chantix), and I didn't think I would ever be able to quit. BUT I did quit, and if I can do that, surely I can do the dieting thing too.

Also, quite recently, it seems like I can allow myself just a teeny bit of binging if I'm specific about it. For instance I can allow myself a half a bag of rice cakes in a pinch as long as I don't touch the ice cream or open the bag of semi-sweet chocolate pieces or potato chips or other trigger items that are definitely leading me down the wrong path. It means I have to stock items in my house that are minimally bingeable, and I have to be really conscious about making sure I stop at a reasonable amount of something BEFORE I start eating.
Good luck and keep us posted!

ChangingWays · 06-22-2008, 10:20 PM

Its my first time on the forum today. Everyday I eat horribly and I keep telling my self tomorrow I will eat healthy. Before I know it months have past. I never realized other people go through the same problem! Finding the reasons for why I binge eat seems like its going to be a long difficult road.