I'm also trying to lose weight with a toddler (16 months old), so what I've been trying to do is reduce the amt. of processed foods and cook simple meals that we can both eat (protein, veggie, starch). If a recipe for something we are both eating call for l/f cheese, etc., I go ahead and use it, but I make sure that her snacks contain fat (full-fat cottage cheese, yogurt, cheese, milk, etc.). I have read a few places that dark poultry meat is better for toddlers than white meat, so I substitute that in her portion when possible.
Now I just need to work on not wanting to eat her snacks because they usually look so much better than mine ...
Good luck!