[Mdae]

i've made the decision to actively pursue surgery. i'd been considering it for a long time, but honestly... i just didn't have the will to follow through (too depressed about being fat to have much drive to do anything). but i don't want to miss out on life anymore, and i'm tired of starving myself with no results.

my husband is and always has been thin, and his opinions have mattered in my decision making process. at first he said hurtful things like "I would never LET myself get like that."... as it's become more and more of an issue for me, he's made pretty big efforts at being more understanding. he attended a free seminar with me, that explained the different procedures, and he actually walked away in favor of it. he had been thinking, like most thin people, that i just wanted a quick fix... that it would be effortless - or that, even if i did have to adhere to a strict diet, then why should that be any different from weight watchers, etc... but the doctor did a fabulous job of explaining everything and answering questions. although my husband and i do have differing ideas about which surgery would be the best choice - i'd like a medial RNY, he's for a sleeve gastrectomy. i'd like to go with one with a good percentage rate of EWL, with a lesser chance of regaining, even if the diet is stricter... i can handle changing my habits, i'm good with that. but i want the results too. the one he favors is the least drastic, aside from a band - but it could also be converted to a duodenal switch later if necessary (i'd rather not have 2 surgeries) - it also seems to have poorer results and is much less likely to be covered by insurance.

i'm afraid of jumping through all the insurance hoops... that it won't be good enough, and i'll be denied. and that if i'm denied, my husband will shrug and be like 'oh-well'.

if anyone's had experience with BlueCross/BlueShield, i'd appreciate advice/tips... i called to ask what might be required, and the woman said it would be based on what they got from the Dr's as far as it being medically necessary, etc... and i'm not sure i can come up with 5 years of weight history... i hate going to the doctor, unless i'm dying.
anyway, i'm hopeful as the place i'm going thru apparently deals with bluecross/blueshield alot.

[gabbnteach]

you'll be amazed at what the people at the doctor's office will do to get you the coverage you need. i also had blue cross/ blue shield, and i honestly dealt with them very little. the staff at my doctor's office was very good at getting the things done that they needed to.

i also had RNY almost 2 years ago, and yuo're right, its definitely not a quick fix. im still working on it i wished i had started exercising sooner after the surgery, though. i was always afraid that it wouldnt work or i would be able to do it, but i actually love to exercise now!!

good luck to you!! hope everything turns out the way you want it to

[VeggieGal]

Mdae, I just PM'd you

[missangelaks]

My advice would be...do it for you. The fight with the insurance companies can be just that, a fight...apeals ect., but if you want it bad enough, you will fight for it.

I took on this huge undertaking because I loved myself enough to do so. I deserved to have my next 41 years to be active and healthy. It's the opposite of "the easy way out" but for me, it was the only way out.

I have struggled at times with the changes I have had to make in my diet and lifestyle but I know it's necessary to make this tool work and I have not once regretted it!

AND I love exercise too!

Angela

[Mdae]

thanks for the encouragement! going to fax the first of the paperwork tonight. cross your fingers for me.

oh, and when i told my H that i was worried about being denied and getting my hopes up for nothing, he said "well we'll just have to pay for it ourselves then." - so he's had quite a change of heart! i'm so relieved - but i'd still rather the insurance pick it up!!!

emailed you veggiegal!

[FlourGirl]

I have Capital Blue Cross and things went very, very smoothly. My ENTIRE out of pocket expense for my surgery was ....... $95 !!!! When I called ( I called several times to make sure what I was hearing was correct) I was told that I would have to do a 6 month supervised diet (with a nutritionist or as I call them...NUT..... ) I also had to have a psych eval. (not a biggie) and have my PCP's approval....it was all a very easy process. My surgeons office submitted the paperwork and TWO DAYS later I got the call that I was approved for surgery....that was FAST!!!

Call your insurance company and ask them what all you have to do. Ask them what makes the surgery "medically necessary"....what BMI do you have to bit into??? Check those things out. I think you'll be just fine with Blue Cross...from what I understand they are fairly easy to work with.

Good Luck with your decision. As someone else stated...do this for YOU!! I understand that you want to make your DH happy...so did/do I...but in the end I wanted this for ME!!! LOL!!!!

[Mdae]

good to hear flourgirl, although i dread waiting 6 months. now that i've made the choice i want to get it done NOW. it's going to take long enough to lose the weight anyway, i want to start having 'wow' moments and getting out and doing things!
we recently got a gym membership (brand new gym, actually not quite even open yet), i want to put it to good use - i'm totally eager to do my share of work - but it sure would be nice to have a 'secret weapon'!

my BMI is around 42-43, but i have few co-morbidities (so far). i'm also on the lower end of the weight range for qualifying, so i'm still worried about insurance. i guess that's natural. won't know until i know, huh?

[jiffypop]

MDae - you sound like you have everything under control. just a comment, though. please choose the surgery that's right for YOU. after all, YOU'RE the one who will be living it forever and ever, not your husband. he'll be walking beside you, of course, but the required food and lifestyle choices are YOURS, not his.

[Mdae]

thanks, jiffy. that's what i intend to do - but i also want to see which surgery the surgeon would recommend for me. i figure he would know better than either my H or myself, no matter how much research we do. and even if i still want a different one, i'll carefully consider his recommendation before i decide.

[Jiggly Wiggly]

Mdae, I totally understand what you are talking about. I also have the skinny husband. He was totally against me taking this step. Is there anything worse than diet advice from naturally skinny people??? He swears he'll honor my decision though. His problem is that his sister lost over 100 lbs and started partying and left her husband and daughter. I think he fears I'll lose and leave him (irrational fear but I understand where it stems from)

I am on my third of the six doctor visits required for my insurance. It seems like six months is forever until you start doing the visits. I also am worried I'll be denied, even with my co-morbidities. Just remember...you're never alone, many of us are in the same place right now. You know what...We will all get through these hurdles...together.

[Mdae]

my husband expressed similar fears. and i have a 2 cousins who left or were left once someone got skinny(er).

i don't expect to become some supermodel with surgery. i don't even care if i make it to single digit sizes (sure it'd be nice, but i'm not going to kill myself if it doesn't happen). but it would be nice to help out with the PTA or something and not have my kid embarrassed about having the 'fat mom'. i'd like to go horseback riding and not kill the poor animal. any number of things, and i'm sure many here have or do feel the same. i don't think my hopes going into this are unrealistic or unattainable. i'm certainly not looking for a new husband, silly boy.

i hope the rest of your visits go smoothly, and insurance doesn't give you a hassle. keep us posted about your progress! what insurance do you have, btw?