[deathnotronic]

Ok, I think I've reached the point where it's time to move out. I'm 21 years out and I need to grow up. My problem is, I hardly pay for anything. I've been giving my mom $40 a week for my phone bill and that's it.

I need to figure out how to get my car insurance, phone, and whatever else I may need put in my name so I can start paying for it. I could even take the fall semester off so I can keep working so I can live on my own. That's no problem for me.

I have a friend whom I'd move in with so that's no big deal. But I also have 4 guinea pigs and a hamster, so I'd need to find a pet-friendly place.

I work as a waitress at a very famous Michigan restaurant and I know I can make at least a grand a month if I work 5 days a week.

I need to grow up. My parents do everything and now they're getting on my case about it. Well, now's my chance mom and dad.

But I need advice. I should have a garage sale so I can make some extra money. Has anyone ever been in this situation? Because I need someone to talk to lol.

[Czarria]

We all have, i'm sure. It's hard stuff. I remember struggling to make bills meet, and how my grandmother would let me come by every few weeks and raid her freezer. LOL. I've BEEN THERE. First things first, make a budget. $1000 may seem like a lot when you're living with your parents and not paying for anything, but it doesn't translate as well when you're on your own. So make your budget. After that, figure out what you really can't live without and figure out what you don't need. It wouldnt' be a bad idea to have a garage sale. Save as much money as you can before you move out so you have a little bit more of a cushion....

[chickybird]

don't stop going to college, even for one semester!!! It will be a mistake, trust me! I lived with my parents until I graduated college at 25. But I also paid my own car note, car insurance, clothing, phone, and gas. My parents still did a lot, but they knew I was working hard and going to school. I worked 2 jobs and was a full time college student. 1,000 dollars a months will probably not pay rent, utilities, gas, car insurance, pet deposit, groceries every month. And even if it does, what about the "surprise" costs? Stuff like having to buy new tires, because the old ones blew out, or you break your leg and can't waitress for a month, your room mate is poor one month and can't pay her half of the bills.
I'm not trying be horrible, kiddo! I know how sucky it can be to live at home with your parents nagging you. I just know that moving out has lots of hidden costs. Maybe if you pay your parents X amount of money every month to cover you car insurance, groceries, gas, etc. They'll realize you are working hard (which you and I both know you are working hard all ready
Just a few thoughts. Take them with a grain of salt!

[deathnotronic]

Yeah, that's why I want to work my butt off over the summer so that by the end of the summer I can move in and still have a little bit extra (in case something were to happen). I know that I'll be getting some money from my loan refund in the fall as well.

This is so hard. I want to so bad, I want to be independent. I'm 21! I should be able to go drinking and come home wasted at 5AM and bring some boy home haha. (not that i do!) I want to be able to say, I'm finally independent.

[Lovely]

How about starting off by taking over your payments from your Mom.

It'll give you an idea of what paying for things on your own is like. It'll involve one evening worth of phone calls to open up your own accounts with places. (Not even a whole evening, truly.) Then, look at your budget and start paying your own bills. After you've gotten that under control then I'd think about moving out.

[HarpoChicoGroucho]

Just tough it out until you graduate. I wish I would have finished college while I was with my parents, but to do that know, I either have to go part-time and have it take 6 or 7 years (I have about 1.5 semesters left) or go full-time while still working full-time (I have a good job, but it's really not what I want to be doing). There's NOTHING wrong with living with your parents while you are in school. Save your money, because you are going to need it when you finally DO move out on your own. There are SO many expenses -- I had about $5000 saved up when I moved out of my parent's place, and I used about every penny of it on furniture, appliances, electronics, household basics, deposit, and so many other things I'm not even remembering. I did move out on my own, with no roommates, so my cost of living is higher, but just my car payment and apt. alone is more than $1000.

And what kind of phone do you have that's $160 a month?! That's quite a bit for one phone! My dad has unlimited minutes, text, web access, etc for $100! I've got a pretty good plan too, and it's only $60. Maybe you should try to find a less expensive phone as well.

You have the rest of your life to be independent. Don't be in such a rush.

[zenor77]

I had a hard time making ends meet when I was making $1600 a month (this was 5 years ago when I was single.) Keep in mind I had 3 roommates to split the rent/utilities with and my car was paid off. Now granted, this was in California, but still... I don't mean to be pessimistic, but $1000 doesn't seem like enough monthly income to live on your own (even with roommates.)

Try and work out a budget on paper before going any further. Don't forget to budget in entertainment, clothing, food, pet expenses, rent, utilities, transportation (including gas), toiletries, cosmetics, and misc. items. Having money in savings for emergencies is a great idea as well.

I agree that you shouldn't take a semester off from school. Aside from the more obvious reasons, if you aren't in school and not living at home then you won't be covered under your parents health insurance any longer. What happens if you get sick or injured?

One thing to look in to, does your college have dorms? Or if you are at a JC, when you go to a 4 year University do they have dorms? Could you wait that long? Dorms are much cheaper and you could easily apply for college loans to cover those expenses. Several colleges have co-ed dorm rooms now too (you did mention boys after all. )

I know it's tough to live with your parents at 21 (I was 23 when I moved out.) Maybe you could start by paying more of your bills while still at home?

Part of being a financially responsible adult is realizing that just because you want something, doesn't mean it's immediately feasible. I think moving out on your own is a great goal, but it might be in your best interest to wait until you are out of school or have a better paying job.

[JayEll]

Hey! Lots of good ideas here! By the way, what is your major in college? What do you plan to do after you graduate? Perhaps that could be part of your planning, too, 'cause college doesn't last forever.

I think it would be good for you to talk with your parents about paying more than the phone bill while you're living at home, until you move out. That will get you used to thinking in terms of paying for your living expenses. Perhaps a certain amount of 'rent' and/or money toward food.

Jay

[Hat Trick]

I agree w/the others -- start picking up your end of the finances while you are still living at home.
Pay your entire phone bill.
Pay your entire car insurance bill and any repairs needed.
Kick in a decent portion for groceries.
Kick in your portion of the electric bill.
Kick in your portion of the gas bill.
Kick in your portion of the water bill.
Figure out how much your rent will be and start putting that amount into a savings account. Try opening an ING account. Their savings pays more than what a bank pays (although nothing is paying a whole lot right now.)
In addition to these costs, set aside 10% of your income every month for emergencies. They happen all the time and you will need the money.
Most importantly -- FINISH SCHOOL NOW!!!!! DO NOT - for ANY reason - stop going to school. I know you think you'd go back but I speak from experience, it just doesn't always turn out that way. Getting that degree will open many, many, many more doors for you.
Set a budget and stick to it. Start living NOW, while you're still at your parents house, as if you were on your own and continue to do this until you finish school. You will have a good idea of just how much it costs to be independent and will be better prepared. Good luck!

Please stay in school. Your gonna get one helluva wake up call when you move out on your own. It's a whole lot easier if you have an education with marketable skills when searching for a better paying job.

My daughter moved out with roomates while working full-time in fast food making about $1200 Net/month. Took 6 months for her to be in my lap crying and totally stressed out. The roomates weren't holding up their end and she was having to much responsibility dumped on her at work. She moved back in and got a different job. Since she's not in college, she has to pay $100/week to me to live here.

I dropped the ball by not doing a better job of teaching them what it really takes to get by in the real world, but now I have a chance to do better. One or two people(who don't have kids BTW) said it is harsh for me to charge her to live here, but, I put the $ aside and I'll guarantee she can't do better out there. Afterall, she's of age and hasn't done it yet. I want her to understand how much it takes, and this is less than 1/2 of what rent/utilities alone are.

It was a good kick in the butt for her though. Now she at least looking into a trade in which she could advance. I wish she would do college, but no one in my family is very good academically. We are smart, but college bores the **** out of us. Maybe in time.

Hope her experience can give you a little perspective. I don't think the cost of living in any better in Michigan. You're parents might even be happy if you just gave them a bank statement everytime you got paid that shows you are putting money away to be prepared when the time comes. Alot of times we parents are just looking for a sign of maturity, but what we really want is for our chickies to soar high when the time is right.

It wouldn't be very mature, though, to go put yourself in a bind and not finish college because you can't find another way out. Independence and Maturity are not the same thing.

[zenor77]

Originally Posted by Operator265

One or two people(who don't have kids BTW) said it is harsh for me to charge her to live here, but, I put the $ aside and I'll guarantee she can't do better out there.

My parents did the same thing and they didn't put the $$$ aside for later either (honestly they couldn't afford to.) I don't think it was harsh at all, I think it gave me a better understanding of what it takes to live in the "real" world and helped me feel closer to my family since I was contributing. You are doing your daughter a big favor! BRAVO!

[ladybugnessa]

1,000 per month? clear?

ok

what are you expenses?


rent:
food:
car insurance:
car payment if you have one
gas:
medical
utilities (heat, water, phone, cable)
incidentals:
clothing
going out and getting wasted till 5 am: (unless you can get that boy who's gonna come home with you to pay for it) j/k

first thing you have to do is work up a plan.

if my child wanted to move out they can but they need to show me they can take care of themselves at least on paper.

it's a lot harder than it looks.

first time the car needs tires and you haven't saved for it what happens?

[ladybugnessa]

oh and i want to add that my girl child is 15 and is getting a job this summer and was already told from day 1 that 50% of her take home pay is rent.


it's going in a bank account for her so when she moves out the first time she has a nest egg.

[Hat Trick]

Originally Posted by Operator265

One or two people(who don't have kids BTW) said it is harsh for me to charge her to live here, but, I put the $ aside and I'll guarantee she can't do better out there.

Oh, absolutely do this. My parents did the same thing. Life's not a freeride.

deathnotronic -- a few more things -- do you have a checking account? If not, get one and learn how to balance a check book. This is an essential life skill. Also, what about a credit card? Now, now -- don't get all freaked out! You're 21 and you need to start building credit for your future. Yes, it really does matter. Get one card only. Use it but use it wisely. Purchase only something that you have enough money for in the bank and pay the credit card off -- IN FULL -- when the bill comes in. Get in the habit of doing this and you will not run into credit problems down the road. Pay on time; if you are late they will rock you a late fee ($40 in most cases) plus they will access your account finance charges for that month plus a few more months till you pay your balance in full and on time for 2 consecutive months in a row. Easier to pay in full on time ALL the time. Here's a link for credit card comparisons. Read ALL the terms b/4 choosing one. http://www.creditcards.com/

Hey I was in a rush to move out at your age too. I'd wanted to have my own place since I was 12 (seriously!). I was 23, full-time emplyed and had completed 2 yrs of college (associates degree) b/4 moving out on my own. Continued w/school at night while working 40 hrs/wk (the company I worked for paid 80% of my tuition). Like losing weight, moving out on your own requires planning , careful monitoring and constant tweaking.

[msroboto]

Before you move out maybe you need to understand why your phone bill is $40 a week. That's over $160 per month. That's 16% of your 1000.00 a month. That's WAY too much.

So before you move out you should either get a better plan or figure out how to use less minutes / messages a month.

That alone is kind of out of control.

I second the budgeting exercise. I think it will at least make you aware of the realities of moving out.

$160 for phone
$400 for rent - estimate and probably a lot more than that.
$200 for food - $50.00 per week
$150 for car insurance - estimate could be more or less
$200 entertainment

That already adds up to $1110.

You're already over budget here and I didn't figure in cable or electricity or heat or any other bills you might have.

You probably need closer to $2000 per month to realistically move out, maybe more.