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05-07-2008, 09:16 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,102
S/C/G: 229/220/170
Height: 6'0'
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Hi! A few things to tell you:
1) you need a hug!
2) Who told you you could lose 70 pounds in 2 months?!?! That is very unrealistic, not to mention dangerous.
3) Are you losing the weight because you want to, or because you think it'll make your fiance come back? Because I'll tell you right now, any man that would dump his fiance because she gained some weight, is a BIG STUPID LOSER!!!! You poor thing! I know I'm ranting, but it makes me so mad to see a young, beautiful person so unhappy because of some idiot man.
Whew, now that that is off my chest...
There's some great weightloss plans out there. Spend some time lurking in the different forums, like South Beach, Weight Watchers (my fave), Atkins, calorie counters.... See which plan would fit your lifestyle.
As for exercise....maybe just start with walking. I have a pedometer, and I try to hit 10,000 steps a day. I now park farther away in parking lots, walk more during the day... You can also check out some of the exercise forums too.
One last thought...You didn't gain all this weight in one day. It took time to gain it, and it'll take time to lose it. Be patient, and try to lose the weight in a healthy way. There's no point in losing the weight quickly in a dangerous way, if you end up gaining it all back. You're welcome to private message me, if you're looking for a diet buddy. Just click on my name and hit "send private message".
Good luck!
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05-07-2008, 09:34 PM
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#3
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Just Yr Everyday Chick
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 10,852
S/C/G: Lost 50 lbs, regained some
Height: 5'3"
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Hey cindy,
I agree with chickybird! You can lose the weight but it will take time. None of this 70 pounds gone in 2 months--never happen. But don't be discouraged! You can succeed! If you check out the Goals and Mini-Goals forums, you'll see that many 3FC members have lost that much weight and more, and feel better about themselves.
You may not be able to send private messages until you have 30 posts, though! Just to let you know.
You say you don't have time to eat right. Well, many of us found that we had to find the time and not take the easy, junk food way out. We had to change what we ate and how we ate. You can do it, too. Take baby steps at first. Remember that everything you put in your mouth is a choice you have made. Maybe you'll want to skip french fries--or get a salad instead of a burger--or decide not to eat pizza but instead get soup and half a sandwich. Just little changes like that can get you headed in the right direction.
Be sure you check out all the forums... you're sure to meet some friends...
Good luck! We want you to succeed!
Jay
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05-07-2008, 10:24 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 4,445
S/C/G: 237/165.8/130
Height: 5'4"
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Cindy,
What the others have said ... welcome and hugs for you. You'll find lots of supportive people here.
Now for the hard news. You're not going to lose 70 lbs in 2 months. It just isn't going to happen. I lost 70 lbs and it took me nearly a year. A lot of people have done it a little faster, but not in 2 months.
Also, being thin isn't going to get your fiance back. I suspect there's more than just your weight that led him to break up with you (and that's not a reflection on you at all ... but on relationships in general and maybe a little on him). If it really was your weight, then he's not worth having anyway.
My former husband met me and married me when I was 60 lbs overweight. My current boyfriend met me and fell in love with me when I weighed 237 lbs - more than 100 lbs over what I should weigh. If someone really loves you, then your weight isn't a factor.
What you need to do first is really think about your schedule and how you can fit exercise and proper eating into it. I won't lie to you ... you MUST have time to plan and you must make time to exercise. You can do it if you really are motivated.
But I know you can do this. I know it. I own two businesses, plus do contracting work on the side. I travel for my job, I work weekends and evenings, and I often put in more than 70 hours a week. And I still MAKE time to exercise and plan my meals. If I can do it, anyone can.
.
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05-07-2008, 10:44 PM
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#5
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Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Alabama
Posts: 66
S/C/G: 230/210/150
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I agree 100% with everything that all the others have already said. I understand completely how you said a year ago you felt like a glamour girl and now you feel rough. I feel the same way. I don't like for people to see me either. As for losing 70 in 2months...wow if you find out how lemme know. I don't think it would be a healthy way at all. I think slower weight loss would be better and easier to maintain and help you to always feel glamorous.
Good luck. I am here if you would ever like to chat!
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05-08-2008, 12:24 AM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Boise, Idaho
Posts: 902
S/C/G: 201/155/145
Height: 5'6"
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Hi Cindy,
I started my weight loss because of something someone said to me. They said, "You used to be so tiny in high school." Well, with my 10-year reunion coming up this June, I decided to drop my last 25 pounds of baby weight. You know what, my reasons may not have been honorable, but it got my butt moving. I have lost 13 pounds of my 25. I have less than half left. I follow weight watchers very strict. Easy compared to Atkins, which I always struggled with. I think there is a some pathology behind weight gains, but once you get started, you will feel so empowered. I weight 168 pounds right now, but I feel the same way I did when I weight 138 pounds, because I am doing something about. When I started at 182, I felt the same way you do. It is amazing how exercise and the right diet help you get over heartbreak.
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05-08-2008, 12:43 AM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Wa
Posts: 865
S/C/G: 246(s)/238(c)/130(g)
Height: 5'4"
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I hate looking at old pictures because it makes me more depressed too. It should make me motivated to get there again but it doesnt. When my husband and i meant I weighed 125-130 I now weigh 100lbs more and it doesnt even bother him. I think that too I have to lose weight so some skinny chick doesnt catch his eye. But you know he loves me for more than the way I look. He doesnt make comments about my weight. If I ever say anything about it or something he is very supportive and loving. Once in a while he asks what he can do to help or do I have a plan. I had girls watch tapes of me doing dramas a few years ago and they are like you were so skinny back then. so yeah its like slapping me in the face and saying YOUR FAT NOW!!! But this is the best place for you to be and have support!!!! Good Luck!!!! You can do anything you put your mind to!!
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05-08-2008, 12:49 AM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 125
S/C/G: 187/173/125
Height: 5'6"
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Cindy,
First off...Welcome! And *hugs*...it sounds like you desperately need one.
I feel for you, because I was in a similar situation. Through high school and into my first year or so of college, I was also on the smaller side. Then because of school and boy problems, I ate horribly and racked on the pounds. I didn't realize how much I had gained (it's hard to notice yourself gaining weight, since you see yourself everyday), until one day I was looking through pictures and saw what I USE to look like! I remember thinking "Oh my goodness, I forgot that those pants use to be HUGE on me...but now I can barely button them!" And from that moment on, I got even MORE depressed...and therefore ate horribly...and gained MORE weight. It was just a downward cycle. Luckily though, I realized I deserved to wake up everyday and feel good about myself. I deserved to look at myself in the mirror and not point out all my flaws. I deserved to feel sexier. I deserved to treat myself better by feeding myself better. I deserved to not be depressed and be happy with myself. So I made a change, and I went on South Beach Diet. And that worked wonders for me. And now I feel a lot better. Not just because I lost weight, but because I'm treating myself and my body with a lot more respect than I use to before.
I hope your reason for wanting to change your lifestyle and eating habits is for yourself, and for no one else. You deserve to enjoy your life and your body, and no one else should be influencing you to do anything that would make you think or do otherwise. Also, I hope you don't feel like you don't belong here because "70 pounds isn't much to lose". 1 pound is a lot to lose if that 1 pound is 1 pound you're uncomfortable with!
I'm not trying to preach South Beach to you, and by no means am I saying what I did was right and what you're doing is wrong. I just want to let you know, there are people out there who can empathize with you, and we're here. And we're willing to listen. And we'll be here for you through this whole ordeal. You can come to us when you're sad from a bad day, or when you need to go shopping for a smaller pair of jeans! We can be a great resource, and you should come to us for anything and everything. And I hope you do!
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05-08-2008, 01:55 AM
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#9
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Little Miss Random
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: West Midlands, UK
Posts: 1,810
Height: 5 ft 6
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Hi Cindy, good foor and exercise is the only healthy way to loose it im afraid....
im reching terretory no i dont ever remember being in before!....
it will take time and hard work, but if your determined enuf you will get there....
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05-08-2008, 02:31 AM
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#10
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Vegan from Planet Vega
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Mansfield, TX
Posts: 354
Height: 5' 10"
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Hi Cindy.
I know this is easier said than done....but do not let your weight gain determine your self worth. I know it's soooo easy to let it get to you, but in the end overcoming this will be a victorious battle that will make you stronger.
Have faith in yourself as a person and choose something that you know you can stick with. Don't be unrealistic with your goals and keep your head up high. You can do this.
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05-08-2008, 11:03 AM
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#11
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It's a Working Progress
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Pleasant Grove, AL
Posts: 136
S/C/G: 188/see ticker/130
Height: 5'3"
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First of all let me say that if he left you because you gained weight, then he didn't deserve you to begin with! Ladies, please let us all embrace this wonderful woman with our love and support. Honey you can lose weight, and we can all help you stay motivated. How about getting yourself back on that healthy food diet you were once on as a belly dancer and join a gym for good exercise? You can do it!! We are here for you! *hugs*
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05-09-2008, 09:26 PM
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#12
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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chickybird
Hi! A few things to tell you:
1) you need a hug!
2) Who told you you could lose 70 pounds in 2 months?!?! That is very unrealistic, not to mention dangerous.
3) Are you losing the weight because you want to, or because you think it'll make your fiance come back? Because I'll tell you right now, any man that would dump his fiance because she gained some weight, is a BIG STUPID LOSER!!!! You poor thing! I know I'm ranting, but it makes me so mad to see a young, beautiful person so unhappy because of some idiot man.
Whew, now that that is off my chest...
There's some great weightloss plans out there. Spend some time lurking in the different forums, like South Beach, Weight Watchers (my fave), Atkins, calorie counters.... See which plan would fit your lifestyle.
As for exercise....maybe just start with walking. I have a pedometer, and I try to hit 10,000 steps a day. I now park farther away in parking lots, walk more during the day... You can also check out some of the exercise forums too.
One last thought...You didn't gain all this weight in one day. It took time to gain it, and it'll take time to lose it. Be patient, and try to lose the weight in a healthy way. There's no point in losing the weight quickly in a dangerous way, if you end up gaining it all back. You're welcome to private message me, if you're looking for a diet buddy. Just click on my name and hit "send private message".
Good luck!
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thats realy so kind of u
i cant find the words to thank u ..
regarding ur questions
i want to lose weight because i want to get back my beauty and want show everyone specialy my ex-fiance that i'm fine without him and i over come this problem although the trueth is not
the reason is not exactly because i gaind weight .. but this is what i thought of ..
there r other reasons .. that he cheated on me .. and told me that an angel cant live with a devil
and then i started to think why did he cheated on me .. its because i was over weight
thats why i told u i was dumped because of my weight
i have to find a way to get over this problem .. so that i can work on my body and lose weight and gain good health instead of gaining pounds
thanx again .. i apreciate ur kindness
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05-09-2008, 09:29 PM
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#13
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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JayEll
Hey cindy,
I agree with chickybird! You can lose the weight but it will take time. None of this 70 pounds gone in 2 months--never happen. But don't be discouraged! You can succeed! If you check out the Goals and Mini-Goals forums, you'll see that many 3FC members have lost that much weight and more, and feel better about themselves.
You may not be able to send private messages until you have 30 posts, though! Just to let you know.
You say you don't have time to eat right. Well, many of us found that we had to find the time and not take the easy, junk food way out. We had to change what we ate and how we ate. You can do it, too. Take baby steps at first. Remember that everything you put in your mouth is a choice you have made. Maybe you'll want to skip french fries--or get a salad instead of a burger--or decide not to eat pizza but instead get soup and half a sandwich. Just little changes like that can get you headed in the right direction.
Be sure you check out all the forums... you're sure to meet some friends...
Good luck! We want you to succeed!
Jay
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thanx for ur tips .. and for the note regarding the pm
i will do what u advice me
u r all so kind to me
thanx alot
i will do my best
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05-09-2008, 09:34 PM
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#14
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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotoChick
Cindy,
What the others have said ... welcome and hugs for you. You'll find lots of supportive people here.
Now for the hard news. You're not going to lose 70 lbs in 2 months. It just isn't going to happen. I lost 70 lbs and it took me nearly a year. A lot of people have done it a little faster, but not in 2 months.
Also, being thin isn't going to get your fiance back. I suspect there's more than just your weight that led him to break up with you (and that's not a reflection on you at all ... but on relationships in general and maybe a little on him). If it really was your weight, then he's not worth having anyway.
My former husband met me and married me when I was 60 lbs overweight. My current boyfriend met me and fell in love with me when I weighed 237 lbs - more than 100 lbs over what I should weigh. If someone really loves you, then your weight isn't a factor.
What you need to do first is really think about your schedule and how you can fit exercise and proper eating into it. I won't lie to you ... you MUST have time to plan and you must make time to exercise. You can do it if you really are motivated.
But I know you can do this. I know it. I own two businesses, plus do contracting work on the side. I travel for my job, I work weekends and evenings, and I often put in more than 70 hours a week. And I still MAKE time to exercise and plan my meals. If I can do it, anyone can.
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what could let him cheat on me other than my weight ?
i was so caring and treated him respectly and kindly
i know that he doesnt feel good from the inside and that his heart is hurting him because he cheated on me .. thats why he told me an angel cant live with a devil ..
he is blaming himself .. and im blaming myself because if i was pretty enough for him then he wouldnt look to another girl
everyone told me that he dont deserve me .. but i love him .. thats why i dont know what to do .. love is sometimes blind
regarding my weight .. i will search for a healthy diet and i'll try to find some time for walking
i need to get my body and health back
thanx for ur support and helpful tips
i apreciate it
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05-09-2008, 09:35 PM
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#15
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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by martinlady711
I agree 100% with everything that all the others have already said. I understand completely how you said a year ago you felt like a glamour girl and now you feel rough. I feel the same way. I don't like for people to see me either. As for losing 70 in 2months...wow if you find out how lemme know. I don't think it would be a healthy way at all. I think slower weight loss would be better and easier to maintain and help you to always feel glamorous.
Good luck. I am here if you would ever like to chat!
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thanx for wishing me good luck
and thanx for offering ur support
im happy that i found this forum
u r all supporters and so kind to me
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