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Old 05-01-2008, 11:17 PM   #1  
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Smile Friday Night Splits!

Since I started my "journey of better choices" I have found out that I can eat less food and I will live

Angie and I have discovered that since I started my journey I have been bringing food home on a regular basis.

We have talked about it for quite some time but, after last weeks date night we have finally realized that we can split many of the meals the restaraunts serve us and still have enough to eat...maybe sometimes adding a soup or salad.

We found we kept forgetting to try it...so we decided to come up with a name...other than date night ...to keep us reminded! We decided on ~

FRIDAY NIGHT SPLITS!

We will try it tomorrow at a new Italian place that we will join my son and daughter in law at along with my ex-wife, daughter and son in law and nephew.

Is there anything you and your spouse/S.O. do together to limit calories?
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Old 05-01-2008, 11:34 PM   #2  
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We often grocery shop together. Buying healthier foods. Sometimes it takes another person giving a certain look to realize you don't want "that stuff" in your grocery cart.

When making dinner together, we're careful to either make 2 servings, or 4 (if we want leftovers).
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Old 05-02-2008, 07:47 AM   #3  
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ez- that's all dh and i ever do. First off..since dh went back to school...we are on a strict $ budget so eating out is cheeper when we split...but also, we can never finish a meal. So we usually split a salad and an entree....

enjoy your "split night".
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Old 05-02-2008, 09:57 AM   #4  
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Excellent idea, Gary!! Trying to get my partner to do that with me may be a challenge, though!

Just wanted to say also that I think it's cool that you and your ex-wife can share these family activities together amicably.

I have a suggestion (you can take it or leave it, but me being me, I want to share)....instead of calling her your ex-wife, maybe call her your first wife, or former wife, or baby momma (LOL). I don't refer to my former husband as my ex....I think ex-wife has such a negative connotation, and it is obvious she still means alot to you and the rest of the family.....and BRAVO to Angie, who is very accepting of the situation as well!

Just my two cents, friend...has nothing to do with your original post, though! Sorry!

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Old 05-02-2008, 10:45 AM   #5  
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Thanks JEN!

Let me explain. I call her ex-wife here on 3FC so that folks are clear on who she is. In the past here, at 3FC, when I mentioned her by name some people that didn't know me well thought she was another daughter.

It is rare that I ever say ex-wife.

It can be confusing for people, even after being divorced for almost 20 years! BRENDA still has my last name. Last Sunday at church Angie sat on one side of me and Brenda on the other...we went up to communion exactly like that. If the kids are there they usually sit between us. When we do the "family" pictures for the church pictorial it can be REALLY confusing to newer people trying to figure it all out! Also throw my nephew Ron into the mix, same last name and I am his guardian...people that don't really know us but see us together or with Angie "think" he is another son sometimes! Then they see him with Brenda...his aunt. On top of that...his sister...lives with my brother...sometimes she ...Marci...is with them at church...sometimes they don't go and she is with me and Angie!

Because it is rare we can all get together for pictures for the church pictorial over the years the pictures have looked like this...keep in mind we all have the same last name...OH! Except my step-daughter which also confuses people!!

One year ~ Angie, me, my kids and step-daughter in one.
Brenda and my kids in one. Of course with the same last name we are right under each other.

Another year ~ Me and Angie for one ~ Brenda by herself for one ~ My kids and my step-d in one....1 with different last name

Another year ~ Me and Angie, son and nephew for one. Brenda and my daughter in the other one.

My kids were very active in high school and college sports and activities. Most of the time Angie wasn't able to go to the day games because of her teaching and her daughter's activities. Brenda and I really confused people at the events because they assumed...and they had NO reason to believe different...that we were married. We always sit together and work the activities together. Well when Angie would be able to come for example, to the basketball games, because they were at night, it really threw people off when they would see me holding hands with Angie

Throw in the fact that my "ex" in-laws come to church with us sometimes for baptisims, etc. and Angie's mom and dad (since passed) too...and I call them all mom and dad then my mom and dad (since passed) would show up....well you get the idea.

Angie has never had a problem with Brenda, they do many things together for the kids and a few just them. Last week Brenda and I rode together to see our daughter defend her thesis, over the years we have traveled many-many miles together without Angie in the car. On occasion we have stayed in the same hotel room together...strange? yep...not one concern for Angie!

Brenda and I had been divorced for almost 6 years when Angie and I met. It was difficult for Brenda at first, someone else being around...but Angie NEVER tried or intended to be their mother...just their step-mom and my wife. Eventually, in a short time really, I think Brenda realized that this was the table she had set and had to deal with it.

I always made sure Brenda was MOM and Angie was step-mom...and they both were OUTSTANDING in doing that. It was a divorce I did not want...broke my heart...it was rough I admit....things have been good for a long time!

Nobody wins in a divorce...but it doesn't have to ruin everyones lives forever either! I thank God for my wife and kids and even for my ex-wife

Brenda is a dear friend of mine and the mother of my children, we were together for 14 years total...in no way, when I use ex-wife do I mean any disrespect...only to not confuse people....

AND! Once again ANOTHER LOOOONG confusing post by GARY!!!

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Old 05-02-2008, 11:01 AM   #6  
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It wasn't until I read this post that I knew you were divorced. No that that factor matters...but I do want to throw in my 2 cents here.

My parents divorced after 18 years of marriage. I was 17 at the time, no siblings. My dad came out, and that is the reason for thier divorce. It was a bitter divorce and to this day (25 years later) my parents have not said a civil word to each other. My mother still speaks negatively about my father. The situation you have described between yourself, Angie and Brenda sounds remarkable. I hope your kids realize how fortunate they are that aeveryone can behave like adults and eep the best interest of the children in mind. You should be proud of this fact!!!

I wish my parents could have worked things out even half as well.
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Old 05-02-2008, 11:51 AM   #7  
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Oh Yeah....The topic was SPLITS!!!

My hubby is what I like to call a FREAK OF NATURE!!! the man can eat ANYTHING, in any quanity and not gain an ounce!! He had heart surgery in 1994 to correct a congenital defect. When he left the hospital the doc told him to GAIN 12 to 15 punds. (Then looked at me and said, "I am sure you can help him out in THAT department. I am SURE he wasn't complimenting my cooking) It took hubby over a year and half to gain the weight. SEE I told you...FREAK OF NATURE!!!

Anyhow whenever he goes out for supper, he likes dessert. Well I ate way too many desserts over the years. So now, when we go out, I wait and see what he plans to order. If it is something healthy, I suggest we split it with a salad. I always wait to see what he is thinking about ordering though because if he wants to order Alfredo or something like that, I don't want him to change his mind on my account. I skip ordering dessert, but I do have two bites of his. I allow 100 calories for those two bites. I am sure I have never underestimated with that allowance. Two bites is enough to satisfy me and not enough to break the bank!!
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Old 05-02-2008, 12:17 PM   #8  
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Me and DH often split desserts, but it's hard sometimes since he's not a big sweets person. So often he'll take his two or three bites and leave 7/8ths of the thing for ME, when here I am thinking I'm going to have half of it and I have to push most of the other half away from me to make sure I don't eat it! As for entrees, we've never really split anything... It's a good idea except that what he wants is usually the opposite end of the spectrum from what I want

He's great to take grocery shopping though because like Faerie mentioned he can just give me "that look" when I reach for something junky and I dutifully put it back, knowing where it'd end up

As for the divorce, gotta agree, I'm very impressed that you have managed it so well with your kids and such. My parents' divorce was bitter. They have not spoken since. My mom didn't come to my wedding because she could not get over the fact that my father would be there with his new wife (who is a wonderful person, btw). :/ [ETA: this is all occurring 8 years after the divorce.] So much anger floating around.... Your situation truly sounds idyllic!

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Old 05-02-2008, 01:26 PM   #9  
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Continuing the off-topic-ness:

EZ - I just love the fact that your family is so close. And seeing what you wrote just shows that everyone had to work on it. But, they've all made it important. It's really wonderful

[/END OFF TOPIC]

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Old 05-02-2008, 03:09 PM   #10  
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Smile Gary thanks for setting that straight

I don't even know you but I feel like I do now!

All I can say is that you should have your own reality tv series and set some of these horrible examples of family life straight!

You have proven that with cooperation, mutual respect and love everyone can come out of a "bad situation" winning.

Thanks for sharing and God bless you, Brenda, Angie, and all the kids.
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Old 05-02-2008, 03:24 PM   #11  
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[offtopic]

What Pamatga said!

Gary, your situation would present a good argument for polygamy (not the prairie dress wearin, child-bride kind, but the "Big Love" TV-show kind). It's cool that all the adults get along so well and give lots of love to all the kids/grandkids involved. It's like they have two moms!

[/offtopic]

Back to FNS (Friday night splits), Alan and I will probably do that tonight when we go out!
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Old 05-02-2008, 07:13 PM   #12  
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Well it is "FRIDAY NIGHT SPLITS"...good one KATE

Original topic ~ SUITEJUDYBLUEEYES and KATE I don't eat desserts...seriously...but Angie loves them if we go out, especially cannoli or tiramisu. But in her behalf...she usually doesn't over eat and runs/yoga/walks/stretches her butt off....and I mean her butt off

Topic #2 ~Seriously gals everything I tell you is true. It hasn't always been easy though! First of all our situation is different for one reason...Brenda left me...but she still liked me....complicated, but we did hours of counseling ...she just was not happy herself...she felt she needed out!...to find herself...whatever...but she never said anything bad about me, never had an affair...etc. the "normal" reasons that come into divorce didn't enter ours. I don't know how many times we sat through different counselors and they would tell me "NO reason for you to be here dude...she has nothing against you...she just doesn't want to be married"....to be honest...she changed after the kids were born. In her behalf, she fought hard to "maintain" feelings for her children...wether or not she "felt" as she should for them...they would NEVER know it...In my behalf, I knew that it wasn't me that she "battled" against...so I went out of my way to do the right thing...what was best for my kids etc. Now this does not mean that I didn't stand up for myself...I was so afraid she could take my kids...remember this was almost 20 years ago....long story but she could leave me if she wanted...but she was not taking my kids! We ended up 50/50 but they spent way more time with me, my son even refused to live with her the last 2 years of high school...he had enough of the flip-flop. Now also keep in mind Brenda and I live within 4 miles of each other...I saw my kids almost every single day, even when it was her day.

I tried hard to do the right thing...I demanded my kids 50/50...as much as I wanted them all the time I knew they need their mom too...now it has always helped that they WANTED to be here more

Angie has been a great step-mom and my kids love her to pieces. Brenda knows that and knows she didn't try to be their mom...it all came together nicely.

Seriously...Brenda does our taxes!! Her S.O. is my mechanic and him and I get along just fine! She knows how to get into our house...the one she and I bought together many years ago. She is probably at my house at least once a week for one thing or another...and my kids don't even live here anymore! My entire family...and Brenda's for me...have never ever taken sides...well, hers did...they took my side...but as I mentioned...the divorce wasn't about me.

Angie and Brenda are quite different people. They each have strong qualities that the other doesn't. My kids know the difference....they each have their "go to mom" for certain things, which, honestly at times, upsets Brenda...but she "holds" it in...most times...she knows...it was her call.

Now, all that being said...it isn't as smooth on the other side...Angie's ex-husband....

But folks that's another thread!!

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Old 05-02-2008, 08:18 PM   #13  
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OK here, again, shows the dynamics of our "family".....Brenda left in Oct. 1989...our divorce was final in Dec. 1990...my nephew was born in Oct. 1990, his sister was born in 1995....to Ron and Marci it has always been "AUNT BRENDA"...now then...I have mentioned that Brenda's family has always kept me a part of their family and vice-versa. Her parents/sister/brothers have spent many a Christmas Eve with Angie and I and our family. Patti, Brenda's sister is in several of the 5K's we do each year...her and I often walk together...she is like my own sister...she just called and talked to Angie, while I was in the shower...she wanted to know what nephew Ron (my brother's son) wanted for his graduation! Of course she will be at it and at the party...but he is a nephew on "my" side...born after Brenda left...and yet...we...are still a "family."

Maybe I should start a divorce thread...hummm...look to General Chatter later tonight...wink.

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Old 05-03-2008, 01:02 PM   #14  
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Well our dinner at the new Italian joint was nice. Angie and I spit our meals a little different. I had a pasta and shrimp dish and brought 1/2 home. Angie had talapia and spilt it with Brenda.

So I did good on the eating...stayed away from the bread...I don't think I could have gotten it away from nephew anyway...he must have eaten 20 sourdough pieces!

Every little bit helps! Have a great week-end ladies.
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Old 05-03-2008, 06:44 PM   #15  
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When we go out to eat as a family my dd and I always share...when it is just my husband and I we hardly ever share but we are getting in the habit of splitting our meal before we even start to help limit our intake. We don't share as well 'cause he likes lots of meat and, well, I don't.

As for the divorce conversation...thankfully the only thing I have to say is what a wonderful solution to a difficult situation!
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