So, my boyfriend and I broke up last night. I am not handling it too well and am pretty upset.
Yeah...breaking up is hard. Not only on your mind but also sometimes on your waistline too, as I'm sure everyone can probably agree. Needless to say, I'm absolutely terrified that I will go on a crazy binge - and I've been so good recently, it would be awful to sabotage myself now.
On the bright side: it's been a whole day and I haven't had the urge to eat at all, actually. Maybe it will be one of those lucky instances where I am too upset to binge or even eat much. Let's hope it stays this way...
But chances are I will be tempted at some point (realistically) in which case I want to be armed and ready. Does anyone have any ideas about how to cope, minus food? Any tips would be much appreciated.
I'm sorry about your break up,but the only thing I know to tell you is arm yourself with plenty of fruits and veggies,get all empty calorie stuff out of the house,sweets.......................... keep water by your side and you'll probably be fine... I know if I lost my man I probably wouldn't eat anything at all, but I know what you mean by being prepared "just in case".
I also just broke up with my boyfriend about two weeks ago and have lost an additional 11 lbs since then! My secret? All those nights in or out together are now spent at the gym. I've been scheduling it in like I would a date. So far so good... I actually feel better about myself than I have in years. Good Luck
I also just broke up with my boyfriend about two weeks ago and have lost an additional 11 lbs since then! My secret? All those nights in or out together are now spent at the gym. I've been scheduling it in like I would a date. So far so good... I actually feel better about myself than I have in years. Good Luck
I'm not a member of this group but saw this thread and wanted to say that my most successful weight loss efforts began (or were expedited by) a bad break-up. There were two in particular. It usually starts with intense grief...and a complete lack of appetite. Then, when I entered the angry phase, I worked out my anger. So I can't say for sure how you'll react, but it doesn't necessarily have to be by bingeing.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Break-ups are so hard. Just...ick.
I agree with exercise- either the gym or long walks. Schedule lots of "girl talk/venting" time at coffee places or at homes with the clear thought that no sweets will be involved. Just non-fat coffee drink with maybe sugar free syrup (pretty much standard at Starbucks and the like these days) When my future-x tossed the bomb ending 21 years of marriage 2 years ago I also initially could not eat, but then a sort of depression creeps in and food as our crutch winds its evil way back. Journaling (basically writing out all my hurt with strong bold words, physically writing hard on the pages, helped also. Try not to isolate especially if you are a "closet-eater". There is a big world out there- grab it. Best wishes.
Chitown--I agree with nomorefatty and Amy. When I had been in a relationship for many years and knew it was time to end it but was scared I lost a lot of weight. I felt powerless with the relationship but felt I could control my eating and exercising. I became a gym rat.
I second the idea... release your energy at the gym. Of course, go see your girlfriends, but remember - after you break up with someone, you can really gather some perspective about what YOU want in life and how you can achieve it. If fitness is one of your goals, this is an optimum time to put the energy into it (put it into your future!)
Breaking up is such a hard thing to go through, especially if you've been with someone long and you don't really know what you as a person are like on your own. THIS is the time to rediscover yourself! be selfish! find out what you really want! When me and my long-term boyfriend broke up i lost so much weight, and not on purpose, i just couldn't eat. I guess that's what a broken heart does to you...
I'm very sorry to hear about your break-up. I'm also always looking for new ways to deal with stress/anxiety to avoid binge eating... I think to myself, "food won't make everything better, it'll make it worse" and then try really hard to do something, anything, that doesn't involve eating.
Here are some ideas I've come up with...
- exercise (yes, this is a big one, and it's sometimes the hardest to motivate yourself to do but always, ALWAYS, the best stress release)
- go to a bookstore -- I find that I lose myself in bookstores for long periods of time and even learn new things...
- do you have a pet? My pets are GREAT emotional support and if you have a dog, all the better, because you have a friend to tag along with you on long walks, even jogs, and you can go out in the world and see things, people, sunshine, etc. Pets are wonderful, wonderful support. If you don't have any, try volunteering at your local shelter. You'll be amazed at how good you'll feel.
- cry your heart out. If you feel like crying, get it out... there is a release after a long, hard cry... dont' be afraid of feeling those emotions because they've got to come up sometime, and there will be a better day in the future, guaranteed. So cry... and if possible, have someone else there. But if not, no problem. It'll make you stronger.
I feel for you and hope that you have found a way through all of this. We're all here for support!! Keep posting!
About 8 months ago my fiance cheated on me leading to me calling off our wedding...before all of this happened we fought alot and he was somewhat abusive and I began to binge. I gained 45 lbs. I felt horrible, then we broke up. It was such a hidden blessing. I began to figure out who I was without a man, and I am still doing so and it is amazing. Look at tomorrow not yesterday. I know it is sooooo cliche but it is his loss. Look at your good qualities, try something new, go out with girlfriends. One thing that REALLY helped me was to look nice and dress up all for yourself. Dont think about dressing up to impress anyone, just take time to do yourself up for u. It really helped. I feel more beautiful than ever even though I still have 30lbs to go. I love myself, and have stopped looking to a man for my self worth....you are in my thought! Good luck!
Thanks, your story really does make me feel better. The first day or so I felt so sad that I could barely eat at all, but now I think I'm just doing it to cut the loneliness - although I realize that all the cookies and ice cream and pad thai in the world won't bring back someone you loved.
I want to dress up nicely tonight and go out to a bar with my girls, but I'm afraid I will see him there (I am in college and we all go to the same bar every week.) I have to get out of my house though! Any ideas on what I should do if and when I see him?
I think that if you do see him, and he sees you, you should definitely acknowledge his presence, whether it's just a nod or you actually say hi... then move on quickly and enjoy your night with your girlfriends. That way, there's no extra wierdness in the air.
Although if I were you, I'd steer clear of anywhere he might be, at least for a while, just for your own sake. Who needs a wet blanket?
Breaking Up is Hard To Do
