Okay....so here's the backround....When I was about 12 my mother tried to commit suicide because my father wanted a divorce. She couldn't go through with it and after taking a handful of sleeping pills, called EMS. This was back in the late 70's. After the hospital she went to a place..."to rest"....I later realized that it was mental hospital and she was there for a month. We were brought to visit her and we met one time with her Psychiatrist. I will never forget that mans face as long as I live. This was all in New York, and now I live in Pennsylvania. Okay fast forward....about 10 years ago I am working as a nurse here in Pennsylvania and who do I see walking up the hallway at the hospital I work at but the same psychiatrist! I finally got up the nerve to ask if he ever practiced at the hospital my mother was at....and he said YES!! He couldn't believe I remembered him. As if I'd forget the most traumatic time of my life. He was very kind and I spoke to him in his office for about a half hour...I literally cried my eyes out as the flood of bottled up emotions took over. I only ran into him a couple of times after that, until yesterday. I was at the gym....and who is working out....but HIM!! I felt like I was going to pass out for some reason and I left.
Here's my question....I know this sounds crazy but I feel like something keeps putting him in my life because I have unresolved feelings about everything. Is it just a coincidence that I would run into a man that practiced 2 states away from here AND took care of my Mother?
What does all of this mean? I feel really confused.
Well, I'll be honest ... I don't belive in "fate" or "karma" or any of those nebulous semi-spiritual / religious types of things. So I don't believe it "means" anything that he obviously moved to your area and you've now run into him a couple of times. Coincidence is just that ... coincidence.
I do believe that it's possible that *seeing* him has triggered some unresolved emotional issues for you - some things that you've pushed deeply away and that seeing him has made you remember and feel all over again.
I would think that it would be helpful for you to go see a counselor to work through these things - maybe even necessary. But as far as "fate" or whatever putting him in your path? As I said, I don't believe in that, so no, I don't think there's any mystic power at work here. Just a face that brings up memories that are painful.
Yes, it is a coincidence. However, the strong reaction you are having is telling you that you have some issues you need to deal with. I think it is normal to feel everything you have described feeling! I am so sorry that seeing this person caused you emotional distress. A lot of times I know I stuff my feelings by pushing them down, pretending everything is fine, and eating to comfort myself. Perhaps that is why you are having such a strong reaction, because there he was and you couldn't just ignore it.
Anyway, I would try to deal with the feelings and not ignore them, even if they are painful.
I don't really believe in fate so much as I believe in opportunity.
So, the way it seems is that it is a great opportunity to realize that you have some unresolved issues... and to deal with them. (Not necessarily with him specifically or anything.)
I believe that everything happens in our lives for a reason and that includes the people that come into our lives. I just do not believe that life is just a series of random events. Some do, I don't - but what about you? What do you believe?
I went to counseling several years ago to deal with this whole piece of my childhood. I went every week for a whole year and I felt like I had finally resolved all those feelings. I was able to confront my parents about it and I thought I had made peace with it. It is just so bizarre that I would run into this man who practiced in New York, here in a small town in Pennsylvania. I believe things happen for a reason, and that maybe I have some unfinished business to deal with. I don't know. I don't think I'll EVER be totally over that time in my life, but I don't want it to be a part of my future either. Seeing this man just triggers every childhood fear in me. And now he's at my GYM?? OMG...are the God's toying with me or what? I don't know....I guess I need to just think on the whole thing for a few days. I don't want to run into him at the gym again, it's just too weird for me to deal with right now. I know I can get past this.
I believe that everything happens in our lives for a reason and that includes the people that come into our lives. I just do not believe that life is just a series of random events. Some do, I don't - but what about you? What do you believe?
I agree wholeheartedly. I am a firm believer in fate. (Karma, however, has a different meaning. It means that whatever you put out into the world-whether it be bad or good-will eventually come back to you. Not the same thing.)
For instance, my mother, when I was a young teen to young adult-was in a mentally and physically abusive relationship for over a decade. As much as I pleaded and begged, she could not find the strength to leave. My firstborn, my daughter, was a "surprise". When my daughter was born, that unplanned child gave my mother the strength to leave her abuser. She couldn't bear for her grandchild to see live with the things that I had.
At the time of my pregnancy, somewhere else, there was a man who had a wife who was addicted to drugs. Because of his religious beliefs, he was in the relationship until death. He didn't believe in divorce. He stayed with his wife, until the day when he came home from work, and saw that she had committed suicide. This man was also unable to have children of his own.
Strangely enough, the suicide incident coincided with my pregnancy.
When my daughter was born, and my mother finally left her abuser, she was in a pretty bad place. She was weak and lonely. She ended up returning to church...where she eventually met-MY STEPFATHER. They have been married now for 9 years.
I am a firm believer that my pregancy, and the untimely death of my stepfather's former wife, were events that took place to set the stage for my mother and stepfather. Those two events, happened at the same time, and they ended up in the same place, using their faith to heal. In that same place was where they met one another.
I believe that we make our own choices in life...but I do believe that there are powers stronger than us, and that there are certain lessons that we are meant to learn in our lives, and certain people that we are destined to meet. I do believe that some things happen for a reason, although at the time of difficulty, sometimes those reasons are not always clear.
My advice to you, dear, is that things may seem cloudy right now. With retrospect, after whatever comes of this, things will be more clear.
I do believe in fate (most of the time, I've always had struggles between my rational and spiritual beliefs), but I also believe that many coincidences are just coincidences and I believe in the strength of conditioned responses. Things that remind us of horrible (or wonderful) experiences can trigger memories and feelings associated with that experience (I've read that coma victims often react to familiar scents).
I've experienced "small world" phenomenon frequently in my life. Once on a vacation to florida when I was maybe 12, we ran into family friends from Illinois at DisneyWorld. Another time shopping in a mall 90 miles from home, we not only ran into neighbors, all day we seemed to be following them without realizing it - even running into them at the restaurant we'd chosen. Once on a visit home to Illinois, I learned that my uncle had been just a couple miles from our new home in Wisconsin to pick up a trailer he's bought on ebay. My youngest nephew was born on his grandmother's (my mom's birthday - yes she's still alive). Is it a coincidence, or does it "mean" something, and if so what?
I'm not saying that what you've experienced doesn't mean something (nor that it does). Even if you take it as fate, WHAT it means is going to be mostly up to you. Is this a sign that you have unresolved issues, or is this a sign that it's time to learn that you truly can leave it in the past? That's the biggest problem with acting on what you perceive as a sign from above (or where ever you believe signs come from) you still have to interpret the sign based on what's inside you.
That being said, supposing this is simple coincidence and conditioned response -- He coincidentally moved to your area, increasing the odds that you will run into him occasionally, and his association with a terrible time in your life dredges up all those emotions -- even though these are all "rational" explanations, if you believe you have unresolved issues that need to be addressed, then address them. Though I don't believe that any of us ever truly resolve issues, in the sense that once dealt with, a trauma disappear forever like an exorcised demon. If this happens at all, it must be quite rare. Rather, I believe we learn to develop tools that help us respond in a way that makes us stronger, not weaker when we confront the demon.
I am a firm believer in the Law of Attraction. I believe you attracted him into your life for a reason, probably because of what you said--unfinished business. See his appearing again as a blessing and an opportunity to put to rest the ghost that haunts you.
I know you say you will never be over that tragic event in your childhood, but I belive you can make peace with it and appreciate it for the contrast it brought into your life.
Think about it--would you know the deep joy and appreciation for life that you have now if you haven't had that incident in your life?
I can't believe who I saw at the gym....
He was very kind and I spoke to him in his office for about a half hour...I literally cried my eyes out as the flood of bottled up emotions took over. I only ran into him a couple of times after that, until yesterday. I was at the gym....and who is working out....but HIM!! I felt like I was going to pass out for some reason and I left.
