[MiddleSister]

Can somebody explain the role of a sponsor? I know their necessary for my recovery, but my sponsor doesn't return my phone calls and I've only been to 5 meetings and I have only seen her twice in person at the mtgs. Should I find another sponsor?
I was calling her and telling her what my food plan was, but since I don't see her at the mtgs, I'm not sure what's going on. I know I can have more than one sponsor, but just didn't want to make it confusing for myself. So, I'm confused, and new at this can anyone help? And is this normal?

Thanks MiddleSister

[marny]

Hey there-

There could be a lot of different things going on.

When you called your sponsor did you request that she call you back? A lot of times sponsees check in with sponsors through phone messages, so sponsors only call back if they are asked to.

There are a lot of reasons why your sponsor may not be at all the meetings that you've attended. Have you asked her about it? Maybe it's her work schedule, family commitments, illness-- or perhaps she even attends other meetings during the week. Let her know that you are confused by this.

It may be that your sponsor is struggling with her own program. Or that she's spread too thin with too many commitments.

It may be that her personality is a bit flaky-- we have all kinds of real people in OA.

If you've specifically asked her to call you back twice, and she hasn't, then yes, you should probably look for a new sponsor.

It really sucks to get let down by a sponsor. But, they're no different from us-- addicts working to live in recovery. They aren't perfect, they're just people.

[patd]

Great answer, Marny.

(((((MiddleSister))))))

Just keep on being willing to do whatever it takes!

patd

[MiddleSister]

Thanks Marney for answering my questions. No, I have never asked her to call me back. And, yes I do know she attends more than just OA mtgs. I called her yesterday crying, because I've realize I can not have bread, crackers anything made with white flour drives me crazy wanting to eat more and more.
She told me last night on the phone she went to see her father who is sick. I remember now her telling me this. I just forgot. Ready to blame her for my failure and or disease.

I really like her. She reminds me of my daughter, fiesty, young, full of energy, I need that right now.

Thanks Again, all is well
MiddleSister

[patd]

I'm so glad you connected with your sponsor, MiddleSister.

Sometimes for me it's easy for me to forget that my sponsor is human and has family and friends that she cares and loves too. I hope everything is ok with her dad.

Do you have phone #'s of other OA members that you could call when you can't get a hold of your sponsor, they can be a life saver.

hugs
patd

[marny]

I'm glad that you got a chance to talk with her and figure it out. It's okay that you forgot that she'd be gone-- it's happened to me too. We're human-- we forget sometimes.

Be gentle with yourself and with her. I need to do the same-- I need to treat myself more lovingly.

[tommy]

My sponsor also has a very full life and travels, so communication can be difficult. I keep a zip-loc bag with all the contact numbers I have in a zipper compartment of my purse so that wherever I am I can access those people quickly. (of course more modern folk might have them in their cell phone address book....) It has served me well in sticky situations. Sometimes I have to call a lot of numbers before I reach someone, but I keep trying.

[Magic Flute]

Sometimes we want our Sponsors to do for us what we are not able or willing to do for ourselves. My Sponsor is like a GPS system. She gives me direction on how to work the Steps, which readings to do and she interprets things for me when I don't understand. However, I am the one driving the car. I have to do the work and use the tools. The results I get are mine and mine alone.
I am very lucky, my Sponsor is always there and very patient with me. I use her wisdom to work this program and she has great recovery.
Thanks, Bumps

[MiddleSister]

Hi patd,

yes I do have others I can call, but I forget I have them. I need to put them out where I can see them. I have a ton of names to call. I think they are referred to a using a "tool"

Thanks MiddleSister