[searsha]

Hi everyone. Been a while since I’ve posted. Sorry if this post too long, just a lot happening.

I’m so grateful today for a blessed abstinence from COE. I’ve had a very shaky start in OA, mainly because of my own lack of trust in the notion of complete surrender to the 12 steps. I was hanging on like a tiger to one binge food item every so often. And I did it, and did not binge, just to prove what to myself? That I was a normal eater after all?

But the problem was I had no peace or serenity as long as I held this attitude. And eventually, I did binge, back in November. And I am very fortunate to have made it back to OA.

After that last miserable lonely binge, I started to listen more at meetings, and tried to get in tune with my HP’s will for me.
With great difficulty, I let go coffee – out of the blue I discovered that it seemed to trigger me into sugar consumption.
So after the horrors of withdrawal, I found my cravings for sugar were seriously diminished. Since then, I have had one ‘trigger food episode’ after Christmas, and I shared it at my group and got back on track immediately.
In the interest of honesty, I now count my abstinent date as 29th December. So I’m now thankfully 25 days completely abstinent again. I feel clean and well and hopeful.

I have also had to let go my obsession with the scales again. I had been weighing myself once a month and enjoyed a weight loss of 9lbs. I stopped exercising after giving up coffee, got a bit low in myself, and have only got back into it this past few weeks. But I knew by my clothes I had gained weight. And I became terrified to go back on the scales.
My doctor weighed me just after Christmas, and I had indeed gained 6lbs!!! It nearly sent me over the edge again, but I stayed abstinent. Now, I have lost 3lbs of that 6lbs, which leaves me at 160lbs.
I wish my loss was bigger, but had I gone into major COE, my weight would have rocketed by now. I got these great new exercise shoes, renewed my gym membership and am far more active this time around. Need to go now and adjust my ticker yoke. I’ve been avoiding doing that and that does not sit right with me. all the best,

[marny]

Hey Searsha-

It's great to hear from you. You are living a life of recovery-- It has ups downs, changes, set backs, breakthroughs, and lots of learning and growth. Thanks for your honesty and example.

[searsha]

Thanks Marny. You are so supportive and kind. Your strong honest program keeps me going.

Your sharing proves to me that the 12 steps of OA and a reliance on a power greater than ourselves does work, and is working and that people can and do recover from this killer disease. Long term abstinence is possible. I need to hear about that.

Thank you Marny for the way you ‘keep on keeping on’.