Hey there spirit angel-
I'm so glad that you are here. Have you had a chance to read the first chapter on step one in OA's 12 Steps and 12 traditions?
You've hit the nail on the head:
"I just know Gods will for me is to be abstinent one day at a time."
Yep, I can't possibly conceive of doing this forever, but I CAN focus on today. Tomorrow I'll focus on tomorrow. Each of these "days" add up-- not by my doing, but by God's. It's freedom to not have to worry about forever-- I only have to deal with today, and that I do with God's help and direction.
It's amazing to me that I used to think that I had everything figured out. I had all kinds of plans for the future and I thought I knew exactly how everything "should" go. I praised myself for "my" accomplishments and believed that I knew more or better than anyone else.
...Except when it came to food or my weight. There I was at a loss.
With the help of OA, I learned that along with being powerless over food, my life was unmanageable (by me). I couldn't do it myself. I needed God-- and I needed to LET Him manage it.
I had a lot to learn (still do). I had to admit that I didn't know everything. I had to learn how to let go of the control, drama, stress, and worry, and surrender it all to Him. This, of course, wasn't easy, and it didn't happen over night. I trusted Him with some small stuff, and when He came through, I began to trust Him with the big stuff. He hasn't let me down.
Abstinence is an amazing gift that I continue to ask for every single day. I start each morning with,
"God, I give my food, abstinence, and will to you. Please give me the willingness and the ability to be abstinent today."
Early in program it helped me to visualize food in my hand and literally hold it out to Him. I would often do this many times throughout the day-- always when I mysteriously found myself in the kitchen and had no idea how I got there.
spirit angel's abstinent days 1-?
Way to go Spiritangel, what a great gift to give to yourself.
