Kicking myself for the 1000th time - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

trooworld · 12-21-2007, 10:31 AM

I've been at this point in my lifestyle change so many times I can't count. It's really getting annoying. I eat really well and then comes two days of eating poorly and before I know it, it's a week later and I'm still off track and hating myself. It takes me a couple of weeks after the initial few days of eating unhealthy to get back on track. I get so angry at myself and I know that doesn't help because why do I overeat? One reason is when I am.....angry!

What is the definition of insanity according to 12-step programs? I think it is: "Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

I think in my mind, I believe that a few days eating off track won't kill me, but I think what happens is that I get down on myself for being off track for more than one meal and it spirals from there. I am off track right now, but see no end in sight for at least until after Christmas because tomorrow night, we have planned to have my sister-in-law over for lasagna (and I can't change that because she knows it) and then there is Christmas. The saving grace is that on Christmas, we are going to be at her house and I don't plan on bringing leftovers home.

I am totally happy with my eating plan; I calorie count and eat one bad meal a week, but it's a slippery slope into eating madness for me. Specifically, it's eating out that is bad...I can't eat out and eat healthy...when I go, ordering a salad or steamed veggies just doesn't sound appealing to me. Can you guys think of anything I can do about this? I have acid reflux too, so my stomach has been killing me lately. It was so bad yesterday that I had to eat chicken noodle soup for the lack of irritants.

Starting today, I am going to start weighing myself again (I do it every day for a week and then average out the numbers so I can get a realistic weight regardless of the fluctuations) and tracking my food in Fitday. I have planned good meals for today. Tomorrow, I am going to have salad before I attack that lasagna and hope that I can have a smaller portion of it. No bread.

I am starting to lose motivation because I've been doing this for so long and mess up over and over. The good thing, which I am happy about, is that I don't give up when I do this, I get back on track but it takes so long.

Any words of encouragement would be appreciated much, thank you all for the support you've given me so far.

trooworld · 12-21-2007, 10:45 AM

Okay, I just looked in my Fitday and I've been off track since Tuesday. That's not as bad as I was thinking, but it's still bad. I'm so afraid of gaining the weight that I've lost back.

JayEll · 12-21-2007, 11:16 AM

Hey Trooworld,

Yes, I've seen you struggle for awhile!

But look, you may have to change some things, but you can make it work if you want to!

That one day off plan a week... or one meal... whatever it is... doesn't seem to be working for you. It starts a trend...

So... something's gotta change there.

Listen, there are always better choices to be made at a restaurant. I don't know what restaurants you have in your area, but just as one idea... TGIFridays has a cedar seared salmon on a bed of greens that is SOOO good! and with the dressing on the side, so you can just dip your fork into it and then spear some salad, it is low cal and very satisfying. You just have to be willing to go with choices like that... WW menu at Applebees is another good choice... and just about any restaurant has a grilled chicken breast or small steak or grilled fish that you can get. You know this! And you also know about packing up anything beyond a portion size. You just have to make that choice.

Or, you could give up the off plan day or meal each week and make it off plan every two weeks instead... or once a month, even...

Plan for alcohol as well, since I know you like to have some with your meals. It's easy to see that, for example, "A" beer, not 2, is about all you can afford with dinner without going over a calorie budget.

As for the rest of the holidays, try portion control. ONE serving of lasagna, and a serving is roughly a rectangle 3-1/2 x 4 inches. Lots of vegetables, only a little dressing or sauce. Remember, this is how you will want to eat once you lose your weight! Eat slowly. Take your time. ONE serving of pumpkin pie or whatever it is... look up what a serving is ahead of time. 1/8 of a nine-inch pie is a serving... but it's got a LOT of calories, so plan ahead!

Hang in there, Troo! Maintain for the holidays!

Jay

trooworld · 12-21-2007, 11:58 AM

I definitely want to make it work. I think for right now, I am not willing to give up one bad meal (and when we have a bad meal, it's usually at home and it is less than 900 cals)...but I AM willing to give up eating out (I think that is really where the problem lies). I may have to change this idea, I will experiment for a while. I may have to eat out occasionally, but not more than once every 2 or 3 weeks. Eating out: we don't really go to chain restaurants, we like to go to mom and pop type of places, so we can only guess the cals and you know that is kind of bad. That stuff from TGIFridays sounds good though, maybe we can try that. Right now, I will commit to the next time we go out to eat (and hopefully that will be several weeks from now), I will eat something like grilled chicken and veggies or a salad. That's not something I usually order, but I think damage control is going to have to be the case. I think you are right about making that choice: maybe I am trying to have my cake and eat it too haha. Maybe I am not 100% into this weightloss effort like I think I am.

I forgot all about the alcohol. For a while, we were only having drinks on the weekends, but lately it's been having one or two drinks a night. That's bad for several reasons; I don't want to become an alcoholic and I don't want the extra calories. So, I am willing to cut that back down.

I am so afraid for the holidays. I just asked my hubby that if he wants to bring home leftovers from Christmas, could he portion it out on plates for himself so that I won't eat HIS leftovers. If it is just a big thing of leftovers that will last days, I may be tempted to eat it. Giving up the pie and desserts aren't really a problem, I don't have a sweet tooth. It's the mashed potatoes and broccoli-cauliflower-cheese casserole that will kill me!

So...for now, I am willing to commit to:
1. tracking my food
2. drinking at least 1 liter of water a day (but aiming for at least 2)
3. eating out no more than once every 2 weeks (and moving up to 3 weeks from there)
4. next time I eat out, trying grilled chicken, veggies and/or salad.
5. cutting back drinking to saturday nights

I am putting this all in Fitday diary so that I can remind myself as to what I committed to, maybe I will even print it out and hang it on the wall. You are right Jay, I need to make weightloss a priority, I need to be willing to change if I want to lose the weight, and I do want to lose the weight.

Heather · 12-21-2007, 06:54 PM

I don't see why tomorrow has to be bad! Have a piece of lasagna and have that be enough! I think so often we tell ourselves we can't resist a certain food and have no control. But you do! You choose when to eat and when to stop. Easier said than done, I know.

Have a mindset that you can survive ANY setting, from going out to eat, to a party, etc. I don't always do as well in reality as I do in my head, but I approach all social situations as ones I can manage, WITH PLANNING. Sometimes I choose to have a glass of wine, but no bread and dessert. other times I split a dessert with hubby, but no wine and bread... etc...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it sounds like you're talking yourself out of success to some degree!

Ready4aChange · 12-21-2007, 10:10 PM

I don't know how to properly quote on here so I hope this is clear, but Heather, I just had a major setback recently and I've been going over things and sort of re-evaluating everything and this really struck a chord with me:
"I think so often we tell ourselves we can't resist a certain food and have no control. But you do! You choose when to eat and when to stop... it sounds like you're talking yourself out of success to some degree!" So, thanks. That was sort of a little "ding dong" kind of bell in my head when I read that.

Heather · 12-21-2007, 10:31 PM

I'm glad it helped, because I couldn't say it as clearly as I meant it!

And if you want to quote something, just press the "quote" button on the bottom right corner of the post you want to quote!

trooworld · 12-22-2007, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heather

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it sounds like you're talking yourself out of success to some degree!

Yikes! I never looked at it that way but I think you are right. People always say the power of positive thinking. Maybe I should envision success: me eating a big salad and a small to reasonable sized serving of lasagna. In fact, maybe I will have my hubby portion out my serving, when I do that I always get a smaller piece than I would serve myself! What do you guys think about that plan?

Heather · 12-22-2007, 12:22 PM

I think if you want to stay on plan tonight, you really can! For me, it's not about depriving myself of everything I would like -- but thinking about the balance between what I'd like and what is going to be the best for me. So have the lasagna and enjoy (and definitely get hubby to give you a small piece). Savor every bite. Enjoy the salad as well (I find I have to enjoy the food I eat!).

I do find that sometimes visualizing what I will (and won't) eat helps too.

And then also savor the feeling of having entertained, eaten lasagna, AND stayed on plan!!

Good luck and let us know how it goes -- the good and the bad!!

jellybelly06 · 12-22-2007, 12:45 PM

Positive thinking does make a big difference! So does experience. When i was early on in this process i would think "oh I can't resist XXX, but I will do my best" When I resisted XXX, the next time I came accross it my mind would say, "you can do this, you already have once before!" The more times I do it, the easier it is. I am training my mind. I am telling it *I* am in control, not cravings!!

The other thing that I have trained myself to do is wait, not "no", just "wait!" For example in Oct. I started having a craving for chinese. (I have not had it in over a year!) I thought, I have to wait (I have one day a month I don't count cals) October I had holloween, November Thanksgiving, December Christmas.... January! I can have it in January! I called up my SIL and said "hey you want to go out for Chinese in January!" I am still excited to go. Killed the craving in October because I know I can have it, when I'm going to have and what place we are going to.

Now I obviosly don't always have to wait that long.

You can eat the things you like, just not all the time, whenever, as much as you want! The day that really sinks in that you do not have to deprive yourself, just control yourself, is the day you change from dieting to a life changing exprience!

You can do this! and stop kicking yourself! (unless you are alternating legs for a good workout!

) Jelly

GatorgalstuckinGA · 12-22-2007, 12:56 PM

i think you can definately do it. Its just about not giving up. Staying focused...and knowing that if you do have 1-2 bad days...its not the end of the world.
Also, i highly recommend eating out as infrequently as possible. This fall DH went back to school and so we've been on a monetary budget, which has meant only eating out 1 maybe 2 times a month at most. We have both droped weight and we have found that even when you eat healthy eating out...the portions are larger. So you need to be careful. We found not eating out has been a blessing on pocket books and our waist line.

you can do it if you really want...just find things that help. Good luck!