New here--why do I do this? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Oaktree · 12-17-2007, 09:31 PM

Hi All,

I have overeaten all of my life, but I found in the past that I could keep on top of it with loads of exercise. I have a large frame and won't ever be petite, but I have never been truly fat either. I have two kids now and I just can't work out or walk the way I used to. So the weight is coming on.

My weight has been a constant yo-yo over the past 20 mos. After my son was born, I had pretty severe PPD and lost weight very rapidly. Then I took Zoloft and as soon as I felt better, all I wanted to do was eat. I am ashamed that none of my clothes fit, that I do not seem to have enough willpower.

I have a HUGE family history of hypertension and I need to keep my weight in a certain range to avoid daily medication and side effects. I had hypertension during both pregnancies, which was scary for everyone involved. I want to have another baby, but I am afraid of another round of hypertension followed by PPD. I wonder sometimes if I am sabotaging my weight loss efforts because I won't have to seriously consider another pregnancy then. An example: I had lost 10 lbs from early Oct to Late Nov. Then I overate so much around Thanksgiving that I gained it all back. My brother had been casually asking about baby #3 and I think it triggered it.

I work out regularly and enjoy it. I think if I could just get the eating under control I would feel better and look better. I am tired of doing this to myself. I don't purge and have never done so, but I certainly feel ill when I see empty containers of things around and don't even remember eating their contents. I am afraid for my health and I just want to do something this time.

Thanks for listening. I hope that I have posted to the correct forum here.

Toxic · 12-17-2007, 11:27 PM

I can really relate to this. 3FC is a great support system, welcome to the boards!

Cats tongue · 12-17-2007, 11:27 PM

Hello

Welcome!

I think you've come to the right place.

I'm quite similar to in that i like to workout and it's the eating that is my problem. I'll never be super tiny and skinny, but I'd love to look as atheletic as I (sort of) am.

This is an awesome forum, and this board is great.

I'm sorry about your thanksgiving. Hopefully it will get better now. It can be so hard sometimes.

What sort of plan were you following? Do you have any tactics or ideas for if something sets you off over these holidays?

Good luck.

Liliann · 12-19-2007, 08:27 PM

Hello Oaktree... Bravo on your fitness regimen! That is a very positive action you are doing. Keep up the good work and hang in there on the food choices..It is not easy and just take it day by day..

Liliann

mdl · 12-20-2007, 12:15 PM

i also have the workout part down pat (i teach aerobics on the side for freaks sake), but the food is still where i "act out" my anger and emotions sometimes....trying to just make it about food and some *temporary* enjoyment and move on...not easy

i recommend any book by geneen roth and karen koenig's the rules of normal eating

Ravengirl · 12-21-2007, 02:11 PM

I don't know...it would help if someone could tell me why I know all the things to do that will make me feel great...physically, mentally, spiritually, just every way that you can think of, but I all of a sudden...JUST DON"T DO IT!!! It is almost like I purposely rebel like a teenager or something...and believe me...I am not a teenager anymore! (Though I do act like it sometimes...)

I had some really good days this week...then just completely lost it the last couple of days...I am up like 2 pds this week and I was down earlier in the week...explain that!!! I am here and fessing up...I am back on the path this minute...that is all you can do is keep trying...keep hoping that you can get through it minute by minute if you have to sometimes...

mdl · 12-21-2007, 08:12 PM

yes minute by minute!! and my friend's therapist would ask her when she would talk about why she didn't always live life the way she wanted: "why wouldn't you choose to do things that make you feel energized and good?"

like duh, if there are life affirming activities that you can do, just try to choose those. i am with you -- the tug of depression and negative thinking that tells me to just shut up and stay home are always there.

tommy · 12-22-2007, 01:12 AM

It really helps to be accountable either on-line or to a person. I call my food for the day in to a food sponsor every morning plus write it down and then I am done. I may have to alter the type of protein or veg, but the amounts stay the same. This takes a huge burden off of "should I eat this or not". You are aware of your issues so that is good. Check out all the forums and you will find a way and a place.

Oaktree · 12-23-2007, 07:16 PM

Thanks for all of your advice and encouragement.

I guess I haven't been really following a set plan. I tend to read Dr. Phil for encouragement and to kick my butt into gear on days when I need it.

I have been trying to make small changes--pretty much to regain old good habits. Drinking a lot more water, substituting veggies for more fattening foods and working on getting healthier in general.

My triggers are definitely the few days before my period and the sometimes monotonous job of being a stay-at-home mom. I find the afternoons before my husband gets home to be the hardest. My kids are 3 1/2 and 20 mos and it can be a little confining. I deal with the stir-crazies by eating, I guess.

Anyway, thanks again for the encouragement. It's true that you can only do things little by little.