[missangelaks]

I have been fighting an uphill battle since I was 10 years old. I went through a traumatic time and turned to food to help and sooth me. I wrote in a thread to Della1977 that I realized, like an old sweater, overeating was needed to keep me warm in the cold time of my life but now it's worn, balled up and in need of being replaced with something new and more efficient.

Knowing that and convincing my body that it's time to let it go are two different things...but the pain of using food in that way now out weighs any pain I can imagine will exist before, during or after surgery. Therefore, I tell myself these things...

-I am a good person that deserves good things.

-I am worth the work, time, pain and struggle of surgery.

-Though I no longer believe that being thin will fix all my problems, I do believe that this life-altering act of love for myself will give me incentive to handle those problems in a new, more "grown up" way.

-I can and will try to accept as many positive things into my life as I can.

-at one time my life I was circling the drain... but allowing myself to fight as hard as I have to have surgery out of self-preservation shows me that I have reversed that flow AND just how much I have come to love who I am.

Thanks,

Angela

[rockinrobin]

What a wonderful realization you've had.

I too had a traumatic experience at the age of 10 and used food as a comfort. Eventually, it no longer became comforting. Though it took me a few decades to discover and realize that. Being thin and healthy and feeling good about oneself is way more comforting then any of the food ever was. As is having the burden of being morbidly obese gone from ones life.

I wish you tons of good luck as you embark on your weight loss journey. And yes, it and you are most certainly worth the struggles. More so then you can imagine.

[jiffypop]

angela - you're sure having major realizations around here!!! what wonderful momentum!

please remember - and i don't really like to mention this - sometimes those around us have trouble keeping up with the changes we're making for ourselves. we gotta be patient with them, and keep on doing what we need to do!