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Old 12-13-2007, 02:48 PM   #1  
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Default I am dieting and its a SECRET!

So I think he has noticed seeing as we eat meals together daily but I have not told my bf of 2.5 years I am going to LA weightloss. Is this weird? I feel I haven't told him because he wants to lose weight but he gets too serious and loses like crazy which then discourages me. Does that make sense? Do any of you feel keeping it to yourself makes you feel better?
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Old 12-13-2007, 02:55 PM   #2  
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I recently started the same thing - my hubby just thinks about losing weight and it drops while i have to struggle with each ounce. i'm considering doing WW at work and not even tell him! Weekends will be tough since we're together a lot - but i don't think he's observant enough to even notice!
Good Luck!
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Old 12-13-2007, 02:55 PM   #3  
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I had bariatric surgery (RNY) Feb 12,2007 and my parents and brothers do not know. I didn't want anything negative to interfere with my success.
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Old 12-13-2007, 03:02 PM   #4  
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I'm not telling my family either...only one of my sisters who is my gym buddy knows, but I think it will be obvious once I lose 20 lbs. In my case I'm not telling them because they have never been supportive of me in my past wl efforts...for that matter they haven't been supportive of me ever, but that's irrelevant....I just figure that I can do this on my own....well, with the help of everybody here of course!
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Old 12-13-2007, 04:04 PM   #5  
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I don't tell anybody mainly to keep the Diet Police from unwanted remarks.
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Old 12-13-2007, 04:22 PM   #6  
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Yeah, I'm not big on telling people IRL because I don't want them subsequently judging my choices. My husband knows, though, because I do need someone to look to for unconditional support, but I feel like with family sometimes it's not always so unconditional. But I don't want to tell friends because I don't want to deal with "should you be having that slice of pizza?" or whatever. They'll notice eventually, and I'm comfortable with that.

I don't think it's necessarily weird that you don't tell him as long as it won't make him feel hurt when he finds out (which he will when you drop lbs!)
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Old 12-13-2007, 04:29 PM   #7  
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But I don't want to tell friends because I don't want to deal with "should you be having that slice of pizza?" or whatever.

[/quote]
These are the Diet Police I was referring to. Every dieter has them.
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Old 12-13-2007, 04:58 PM   #8  
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Yeah. I never tell anyone. But I don't really count myself as on a "diet" so much as just trying to eat better, and stay below 1600 cals a day, even if that means one day eat 1600 worth of cake (or even 2000), it won't kill me. There's really no reasons it's anyone else business anyways. That's what I only tell myself.

Last edited by SavingServo; 12-16-2007 at 12:39 PM.
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Old 12-13-2007, 07:42 PM   #9  
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My mother knows mostly cause she's noticed me cooking more and I've told a couple of friends who I rarely see in person but I've tried to be good and failed so many times that I really feel like a disappointment so I really want to wait before I discuss it more openly. If I outlast my usual lifestyle change period (about two months) then I will open up.
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Old 12-13-2007, 11:02 PM   #10  
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I am glad some people are doing the same thing. its not that I don't want him to know I guess I just want a head start

My mom knows and she slips up in front of him, I think its just how she is. She assumes I am ashamed I am not I just want to get some serious results first at least 15-20 pound.

And YES he is like the DIET POLICE! He will push for healthy foods so much more sometimes to extremes. So I want to set myself up on a good path before I open up about it. Plus between him and my mom is the reason for my weight gain. We all love to go out to eat! SO....I guess I just want to stabilize myself first.

THANKS ALL for the support, good luck to you all
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Old 12-13-2007, 11:04 PM   #11  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by House_of_Mirth View Post
My mother knows mostly cause she's noticed me cooking more and I've told a couple of friends who I rarely see in person but I've tried to be good and failed so many times that I really feel like a disappointment so I really want to wait before I discuss it more openly. If I outlast my usual lifestyle change period (about two months) then I will open up.
You know I have been feeling the same for a long time and I recently got a taste of what its like to be at my PERFECT weight so I am really pushing to get there, but sometimes doing it alone helps too.
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Old 12-13-2007, 11:11 PM   #12  
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Originally Posted by TryinAgain5402 View Post
I recently started the same thing - my hubby just thinks about losing weight and it drops while i have to struggle with each ounce. i'm considering doing WW at work and not even tell him! Weekends will be tough since we're together a lot - but i don't think he's observant enough to even notice!
Good Luck!
Ya that is my BF. We go workout together for 2-3 hours because he has crazy energy and I just walk around the gym after an hour. He will also get to his goal in a third the time I will. So I figure he will notice and just start doing it too. Plus I think he looks great so I am not trying to encourage him too much he isn't overweight to me. BUT ya I will just tell him I am not too hungry or Make us similar dinners just a lighter version for me. That way it isn't too obvious on weekends or during dinner time. I feel kind of devious but I am gonna beat him to it!
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Old 12-15-2007, 02:05 AM   #13  
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I'm pretty tight lipped too! I don't tell or talk about it with my family or my coworkers anymore. I found people too counterproductive or negative, and the negatives outweighed the few encouragements I received. Basically, you got to do what you got to do to help yourself. HOWEVER... there may be another underlying issue with you and your boyfriend. You don't want a small omission to twist into something ugly between you two and I have to ask, you do want him to be healthy too, right?
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Old 12-15-2007, 02:42 PM   #14  
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I'm pretty tight lipped too! I don't tell or talk about it with my family or my coworkers anymore. I found people too counterproductive or negative, and the negatives outweighed the few encouragements I received. Basically, you got to do what you got to do to help yourself. HOWEVER... there may be another underlying issue with you and your boyfriend. You don't want a small omission to twist into something ugly between you two and I have to ask, you do want him to be healthy too, right?
YES I do want him to be healthy, and he is he is 6'2 200lbs. He is not overweight at all and eats only once a day with his work schedule. So I think he just wants to have a 6 pack again and that is great but I also worry that he hardly eats as it is. I would hate to encourage his to cut even more cals. Plus I cook dinner for us both and I tend to cook fairly healthy no butter or oil and light on the salt so it not like he eats unhealthy meals.
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Old 12-16-2007, 12:31 PM   #15  
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When I first started to take control of my weight, my husband was the only person who knew about it. I never said anything to family, friends, or co-workers. I felt I needed my husbands support, but I wasn’t ready to tell anyone else. After I lost 20 pounds people around me started noticing so it was hard not to talk about it. When someone asks me about my weight loss, I always say “I’m just eating healthy and exercising” I never go into detail. I’m also careful to point out that I am NOT on a diet, so I am able to avoid the food police this way. Most people are very supportive of weight loss, but there are always the few that will make you feel bad for some reason or another. Just stay strong and keep plugging along as this is for your happiness not theirs.

-Samantha
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