People are FINALLY noticing...and it makes me sort of uneasy
I started a thread about a month or two ago asking if people were noticing our weightloss.
All of a sudden over 45 lbs. gone, WHAM, the comments are coming out of the woodworks. Of course, the "how much", "what are you doing", "how much more" questions have been thrown my way.
I'm starting to miss the portion of my journey when people weren't noticing.
Today one of my friends I haven't seen for awhile, the first thing he said was, "Heeeeey, you've lost alot of weight". This was said loudly, around lots of people in our student union. For some reason I replied, "not alot" and he proceeded to ask how much. I know he meant no harm by all of this but to have so many people actually making comments on my body is something that has to settle with me. Even when people have attempted to discuss my loss with just them and myself around, it still makes me feel uncomfortable.
I can't say I have. But then again, people haven't really noticed. Except for one friend who goes, "oh you've lost weight! I can see it in your face." It does make me sort of self concious but in a happy sort of way.
Do you feel uncomfortable maybe because it puts your body in focus and you don't like to think that people notice your body? I know I've heard that people gain weight to "psychologically" sort of hide themselves. Just remember that they're noticing something positive! And it doesn't sound like anyone says anything too mean. Just think about how what they're seeing now is way better than the body they were seeing back before you began this journey.
Maybe you could just say, yes I have lost some weight. But when they start pressing, you could just say how you don't really feel comfortable discussing the details. Or maybe that you feel like you've just really begun this journey and you're still sorting everything out, and you'll let them know how it's done when it's done.
I don't know if any of that helped, but I hope it gets better for you.
I know that feeling. I don't like it when people make a big deal out of my loss either... I guess I feel like it's been such a personal struggle that I'm not comfortable talking about it with everyone in the world.
I've always been ashamed of my weight and I swear sometimes when people ask me how much I've lost that they'll somehow do some math and figure out how much I weighed at my heaviest. It makes no sense I know but still... Admitting that I've lost 90 pounds means that I was once 90 pounds fatter - ew! I don't want people to know the numbers.
I don't want my body to be a point of attention either. Not at least until I'm at goal anyway. For now I'm still feeling fat and not ready.
Try to remember that people don't mean to make you uncomfortable. It's hard to take a compliment when we've been arguing any positive feedback in our heads for so long.
My weight hasn't been noticed this time around (but I've only lost like...10 pounds). But I do remember in previous weight-loss-endeavors being commented on my weight loss. It only made me uncomfortable because if someone said it while others were around, I felt like all of a sudden all eyes were on me. Everyone was criticizing my body in their mind. Even though I'm sure they weren't. I'd blush a bit and say "Thanks." But inside I was beaming.
You've worked so hard to get to this point, and people are taking notice. You should feel proud. I know how it can feel a bit uncomfortable when people mention it, but they don't mean harm. It's a compliment! Now if they came up to you and said something like "Wow, you've really packed on those pounds, haven't you?" would that make you feel better? They're complimenting you, and for some people, that's how they express it.
How would you feel if you had been working your butt off at work for some big project for months, and then finally your boss comments on how he's been noticing your work? It's like that! Your amazing journey and hard work is finally being noticed. It's not bad to be a little humble about it, but enjoy the comments, because I'm sure there will be more to come in your journey!
Good luck!
Last edited by leanmoomercows; 11-30-2007 at 12:35 PM.
I am so glad that I am not the only one who feels this way.
Just the other day a guy that works out in the warehouse asked me if I had lost weight. I just kinda shrugged it off and my best friend was puzzled. She said that I should have said yes, I have thanks for noticing, but for some reason when he asked I felt almost embarasement.
It sounds crazy, but I totally know how you feel - you are not alone!
oh dear, that makes me sad for you. it looks like you want to lose over 100 lbs so you'll need to figure out a way to deal with these comments, because they will come. i have always been delighted by people noticing. its hard work and i appreciate people acknowledging that. when people say things like that, they are saying they are impressed with you. even if it always makes you uncomfortable, you will still need to find a gracious way to say 'thank you.' good luck and congratulations on your amazing progress!
For me, it depends a lot on who's asking the question/ making the comment & how they do it. I love it when people are nice & smile and say "hey you're looking great". The "how are you doing it?" questions are a little funny, because when i answer eating right & excersize they all look at me with this horribly disapointed look, like "wow, really? no pills? no surgery? No crazy wacked out diet scheme?"
One guy actually told me at one point, "Wow, you look like half the person you use to be." Which to him I'm sure was a compliment, but to me was horrible. And then my old boss who thought he was being funny when he asked me if I was losing weight from the stress of my new job. ha ha.
But, I think most people are trying to be helpful & supportive, it's just a touchy subject. For us & them.
Well I have lost a very large amount of weight. So I do get a lot of comments about it. At first it made me uneasy, I just wanted to get healthy and have no one notice. Finally like you at around 40 pounds or so everyone started asking. I would just say yes I have and thank you for noticing. Then not talk any more about it.
Now it depends on the day and the person. Most days I am willing to have a full discussion with anyone about it, how I got here, what I've done. Other days I just saying thank you for noticing and more on.
It is really a compelement for people to notice and it is generally harder for them to day something about it then it is for me to talk about it. (If that makes sense).
As others say a lot of people want you to tell them about something magic you found that makes the weight fall off, and they are disappointed to find it is from HARD work.
Cats_tongue - Thanks for the kind advice. I just sort of ignored my body for so long, now to have people notice and comment on it is a new place for me.
Vanessa - Your words are so very true. One reason I don't like going into the conversation is because the dreaded how much have you lost question comes up and I think the person is calculating in their head where I started out. Yes, yes, we both know they mean no harm, but i'd agree with you, i'm not at a place yet where i'm ready to discuss my journey with any and everyone.
leanmoomercows - Thanks! I've thought about the flip side as well, at least people aren't making comments about me gaining weight!
lovinlifex2 - sounds like my reaction to my friend asking me. Hopefully soon we'll be able to respond a little better to the comments.
watchershrink: Thanks, and congrats to YOU on your achievements as well! I'm trying, it's good to hear the comments haven't made you uncomfortable, but people are different. Then too, I feel most of the people that notice make a big deal out of my weight loss. Like my one friend blurting it out in front of everyone. Another friend saying, "Wow there is alot less of you" in front of people I JUST met. Lastly, the best one, people saying,"Wow you've lost weight", only to be followed by moments of akward silence, shocked open mouthed faces, and heads shaking in disbelief.
I'm assuming the people who have been commenting on your loss have been more tactful with their compliments.
Trendle - So very true. The people that I have answered as to how i'm doing it have given me the glassy eyed, "girl you're crazy" look. I've even been told my plan is crazy, when actually it's sensible.
RememberHowtoSmile - Thank you, congrats to you as well! Ha, it doesn't seem hard for the people around me to ask. It seems like the reverse for me. Oh, well.
Thank you all for your replies and sharing your thoughts.
Hi, Yeah it always make me a bit uneasy when ppl say "woah you've lost". Im always tempted to pretend I just went partially deaf or say thanks and move one really quickly! I hate the "woah how much??" I tend to think what does it matter?? It is on the other hand nice to know that your hard work is showing I suppose its a matter of just taking it as a nice thing and keep working hard. Congrats!
Like someone mentioned before me, you need to know how you want to respond to the comment "you've lost a lot of weight"! Maybe you can have a few things planned out to say back depending on how well you know the person and where you are. When they make that initial comment I usually say "thank you! I love your hair!" or something similar to get the subject off of you. That way you don't give them the opportunity to ask you "how much have you lost"!
Like so many others, I can dodge most of the weight loss comments with a polite thanks, but the "how much" is more troublesome. My solution, the answer is "about 40". That is what I've said for a while not, and that is what I still say...40 is just a comfortable number when they try to calculate it in their head. There is no way they will ever be able to calculate my starting weight with the safe "40" answer. Hope you find some answers that you are comfortable with. You are definitely not alone in the fact that the topic brings some discomfort. Its especially tricky because I want desperately for people to notice so that I can confirm that it is truly noticeable, yet I cringe when it actually comes up.
Gosh, it must feel awkward if you're uncomfortable with the attention. I personally don't have a problem with that But I do get peeved when people gasp and ooh and aah about a weight loss, like "gee, you used to be SOOO big!!". To me, that's similar to "you'd be so pretty if you lost a bit of weight" And I hate people giving me unwelcome advice, like if I choose to have a little something nice to eat at work, there's always someone who tells me how "artificial sweeteners will give you cancer" and "do you know how much fat is in that?" while they're eating Freakin' McDonalds!!!! I am a walking nutrition encyclopedia, i've been dieting on and off since I was, like, 8!! I know exactly what I"m eating! Ok, sorry about that, I'm done ...
people had started noticing and the comments were coming left and right, but now that i've gained a little of it back they have stopped.
i remember when i was 228lbs, i knew that i had gained a lot of weight but i had not realized that it was that much until i saw my first before and after picture. when i look in the mirror now i can't really tell that i've put on about 13 more lbs but the scale is showing it.
i was letting the mirror fool me last time and i won't let it again. just because i can't see it does not mean everyone else can't.
I also get pretty uncomfortable when people start noticing.
I don't mind if my good friends make comments, but once loads of people start asking the usual questions I get very uneasy as well.
This time round, so far nobody apart from my immediate family and close friends have noticed, which is fine with me!
You will probably get more and more tactless comments as you lose more, so just learn to politely thank those types of people and forget about them!
By the way, well done on your weight loss so far, it's fantastic!!
People are FINALLY noticing...and it makes me sort of uneasy
sounds like my reaction to my friend asking me. Hopefully soon we'll be able to respond a little better to the comments.
But I do get peeved when people gasp and ooh and aah about a weight loss, like "gee, you used to be SOOO big!!". To me, that's similar to "you'd be so pretty if you lost a bit of weight" 
And I hate people giving me unwelcome advice, like if I choose to have a little something nice to eat at work, there's always someone who tells me how "artificial sweeteners will give you cancer" and "do you know how much fat is in that?" while they're eating Freakin' McDonalds!!!! I am a walking nutrition encyclopedia, i've been dieting on and off since I was, like, 8!! I know exactly what I"m eating! Ok, sorry about that, I'm done 
