Its not like i want to be showered in compliments. I have lost somewhere between 50 - 60 lbs ( scales are screwey) My family and friends have so enjoyed telling me i need ed to lose weight and telling me how.... well now that i have,, and on my own.... they havent said anything!
I not even a "Have you lost weight?" .... but my own mother did say " im loosing weight and not even trying".... i heard the same thing from a friend.(who needs enemies huh?)
No one tells me im looking better, or asked if i have lost... but all are ready to tell me how they are loosing without even tring...... its getting on my nerves!
We go to the chinese resturant about twice a month id say.... the waitress knows us well... little chinese lady, speaks little english,,,,, well saturday she asked me if i had lost weight..... I JUST ABOUT TACKLED HER IN A BEAR HUG FOR THAT COMPLIMENT.
She asked if i took pills.... i told her no, just watching what i eat and exersicing... she was telling me how chinese dont drink pepsi, just tea and water..... nice lady....
I walked away with a breath of fresh air, i felt good. More encouraged to loose the other 50 lbs.
What is it with these people that claim to care about me? It seems they had a great time making me feel bad," you need to lose weight" but wouldnt say an encouraging word if they had to! These are my closest friends and family!!!
I don't know why you family can't give you the kudos you want, but I know (and I've never seen you!) that you have been doing a great job with your weight loss and I am sure you look very svelte. You're shrinking away!!!
WoW!!!!! 50-60 lbs is amazing and I know that that is so much work to go through... that is amazing how you lost that much... I kno it not that you want to be showered with compliments but it okay to want one compliment here or there. i remember starting on a diet and loosing weight my family will make many jokes saying im doing drugs and other things but i bet you so much that they are soooooo proud of you for loosing that much...i kno i am and i have never met you...keep up the outstanding work...xoxoxo
We can't pick the families we're born to! You came across a great place where people are supportive. So, I'm going to tell you that you look great and congratulation for losing 50 pounds.
Also, I wonder if your family just doesn't know WHAT to say. I know when I first lost weight when I was 19, even though it was noticeable, a lot of people didn't say anything because they weren't sure what was "okay" to say or not. Does that make any sense?
I bet you look fabulous! Sounds like your family/friends fall into the passive-aggressive category. This is just my armchair-psychologist opinion, but it sounds like, quite possibly, the enjoyed pointing out that you should lose weight because it made them feel somehow superior. I would be very surprised if they're not all too aware that you have lost a substantial amount of weight. They probably do think you look great. But they don't want to acknowledge it, as it would mean giving up that little sense of superiority. In mentioning their own effortless weight-loss (I doubt it!), they're trying to negate your accomplishment, so they can feel better about themselves again.
Now, I'm sure that they're lovely people, who truly care about you, but we all have our neurotic little hang-ups, don't we? But then again, I could be completely wrong. But no matter. You decided to lose weight for you, and as long as YOU think you look and feel better, that's all that really matters, right?
thank you guys so much.... it is sometimes hard to believe i have lost 50+ lbs.... and since im just over the half way mark ( and been in a platue for a month) i feel like im starting again.... but i know i can do it.
The first half was battling food... over eating... well i whooped that.... now i have to really get on my feet and exersice.... i have been exercising but i need to kick it up a knotch!
Thank you guys again.... this is a great place for motivation!
My mom is in the same vote. No help or support from her family (Other than me, but i'm in seattle, she's in idaho. Can only support so much.) And they all tell her the same thing to, * you need to lose weight* and such. So she knows how it is.
Anyway, She said to tell you congrats and keep up the good work. Perhaps soon my mom will be on these forums. I told her how supportive everyone is here and that's what she's looking for.
some people are just like that, just do what you can to be nice to others and it comes around, ya know? My favorite is the people who lose weight from stress, yeah right, if that worked for me I'd be a waif losing 5 lbs every time I left work, LOL.
You are doing fab! Fifty (50) pounds is a lot of weight; imagine 50 pounds of butter stacked up on your kitchen table and that will give you some idea of what a great achievement that is ...
My family doesn't say much to me simply becuz they are more concerned about offending me about bringing up my weight issues; there is a history there of them razzing me; and I got upset and let them all have it once. So, I definitely know what you mean ...
My DH was so proud, he would go around and announce it to everyone. One day, an in-law said, "Yah, we noticed, but just don't stop; I mean, keep going!" I didn't answer her; and just walked away. I know my family luvs me and cares about my health.
This journey is for me ~ to get healthy again; so, we can all support and encourage one another here at 3FC's instead. I say, WOW ~ you are doing great; that second fifty is out-of-here, already! LOL! ROSEBUD
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 10-23-2007 at 10:28 PM.
I have no idea why you are not getting the support, kudos you need at home. No idea at all. All I can say is YOU know what you have done, how HARD it was, how GREAT it feels!! We, here at 3FC KNOW. Just USE it, and keep going........
Focus on YOU and how GREAT you feel, and you GO, GIRL!! You GO...and keep us all posted........every pound.......every $@%^%@^ pound, every NSV, every little difference you feel, you TELL US!!!
Strange as it sounds, some people are afraid of offending you by asking if you have lost weight. They aren't sure if it is an appropriate question to ask, or if it is just being rude.
If you've lost 50-60 pounds, they HAVE to notice. Also, some people just enjoy focusing on the negative qualities. I know it sounds silly, but I have a very negative extended family, so I'm familiar with these types of people. Whenever anything positive happens, they are skeptical and don't particularily care to talk about it, but as soon as they see a hint of negativity, they're right on it and they will talk about it endlessly!
They probably HAVE noticed which is why those two in particular are probably trying to lose weight because they don't want YOU to show them up. But to cover your tracks they say they are not "even trying".
Lendingheart, congrats on the weight loss, that's great!
NightengaleShane, we may have to compare family trees. One of my cousins & I joke that if someone discovered the cure for cancer in our family, there'd be someone else in the family saying, "but what about heart disease?"
Another possibility is that since you're doing it on a gradual, sensible basis, people who see you day to day may not notice. I've lost almost 60. It's always the people who don't see me as frequently (such as the waitress at the Chinese restaurant you mentioned) who notice my weight loss. Or when I start wearing new (or previously stored away) clothes when I go down a size.
And when we lose weight, it does shift the dynamics. Some people get threatened & say negative things in response.
One of my "accquaintances" accidentily told me she noticed (at least that's how I percieved it because she seemed as if she didn't want to talk about it).
She said she noticecd as well as her mom about 2 months ago, but neither had said a word. Makes me wonder....
Short on Compliments
ROSEBUD
