[OptimistK]

I find that as I'm on my weightloss journey I keep to myself much more as oppossed to hanging out. The main reason is because the people I surrounded myself with center activities around food(not so healthy kinds) and that's not me anymore.

When I do hang out I get picked to pieces about what I'm eating, am I still doing that "thing" (i.e. a diet to them, a life change to me). I'd rather keep to myself than deal with it all.

Are any of you facing this challenge on your weightloss journey?

[mandalinn82]

I did have this problem, quite a bit. I developed a couple of strategies.

1. Hosting. I threw dinners at my house whenever I wanted to socialize with folks. I made healthy, delicious meals that were 100% on plan, and everyone had a great time.

2. Suggesting restaurants where you can find something to eat that is on your plan. You just have to order selectively, and maybe exercise a little bit more self-control than usual.

3. Suggest fun, exciting, non-food-based activities. Bowling, mini-golf, movies, arcades, or even a bbq in the park (with lots of lean options for you!) can be great fun with friends, and there is no reason they have to be unhealthy.

In my experience, the reason people center their activities around food is that they can't think of anything else to center around. Sometimes you have to be the one to provide the new ideas because the other people don't have any reason to change. But cutting out your friends just because you are making some lifestyle changes isn't necessary!

I've also found that in the same setting, its weird for people not to act the same way. If you always go to X restaurant, and you used to order appetizers, chicken fingers, fries, and dessert, plus drinks, its going to be weird and people may comment...its different for them, and that difference is noticeable to people. But if you take people to a different setting (new restaurant, dinner at your house, etc), people don't notice nearly as much, which means fewer comments.

[Lovely]

Mandalinn's got that spot on. Great advice. If there were a ditto button, I'd have hit it.

[readyfreddy]

yeah i have problems = i have a hard time doing moderation when everyone is gorging themselves. ive realized that 90% of it is just making good conversation (then people dont pay attention to what youre eating or not eating), 5% is just not telling people what youre doing and the other 5% is willpower to stick to plan.

good luck its not easy!

[Kery]

Sometimes, it's hard, indeed. I'm not sure myself of what a good solution would be, but Mandalinn's suggestions seem like good ideas to start with, in any case.

(And if your friends become really annoying because they pick apart what you eat and criticize you about it all the time, by all means, don't hesitate to let them *know*. I may be blunt in saying that, but if they get angry at you and refuse to see you just because you said something like "hey, do *I* comment on what you eat all the time? No, so can you please give me a break?", then is this really what 'friends' are supposed to do?)

[OptimistK]

Ahhh this is tough.

It's just funny because a few of the people are also "trying" to lose weight, funny enough after I started my journey. I don't think they're serious because you can't do this when you feel like it. I just get comments about taking to long to order when we go out because I'm counting every calorie, yet I get tag alongs to the gym. I get my menu snatched from me or the healthy sections covered by their hands because apparently I need to order "real food".

I've been blunt before, I don't critique their eating habits, I've tried to be supportive when they wanted to begin losing weight, yet I get flack. It's so frustrating and it hurts.

The suggestion for fun non-food based activities may be worth a try. I'm just so sick of it all, which is why I avoid hanging out.

[DGAdDawg]

And if your friends become really annoying because they pick apart what you eat and criticize you about it all the time, by all means, don't hesitate to let them *know*. I may be blunt in saying that, but if they get angry at you and refuse to see you just because you said something like "hey, do *I* comment on what you eat all the time? No, so can you please give me a break?", then is this really what 'friends' are supposed to do?)

AMEN.

My friends, well 2 imparticular, have not been the most supportive people in the world. Let me preface it by saying they are 2 of my closest friends in the world, but our small group is known for being brutally honest with each other and, sometimes, jerks to each other in a sense.

Over 2 years ago when I started losing weight, I just made small changes. I stopped going out to eat 3-4 times a week. This is compared to the years before when I was going out 5-6 times! Mainly it was to save money.

I started walking to class. Working out. Refusing ice cream and cookies.

They started accusing me of not eating because I wouldn't go grab Zaxby's or Applebees. But you know what? I was TIRED of eating out. It got to the point we were eating out so much, when it came time to choose a restaurant, we could never choose cause we'd eaten at them all recently. Now I enjoy eating out because it is a treat and I can think "Man, I haven't had Barbaritos in a while, let's go there!".

They are both overweight. On, A, has put on a great deal in the last 2 years. I think its b/c of stress with school and all. J has always been overweight, although there was a time she was losing when she was following a nutritionist's diet and we were working out together. They're always saying "This is our last meal before our diet! we're going to do it this time!" and then they don't. They complain about being heavy and never having money--as they head out the door to "grab dinner" for the 4th night in a row.

I wanted to lose weight for so long, and now that I did its like they aren't happy for me. They accuse me of being anti-social and not eating! I wish they could understand that I'm so much happier now. Sometimes, you just have to do things for yourself and hope your friends are happy for you.

[Lost_here84]

Honestly, I think they are critizing you because they might be jealous. Esp. if they struggle with their weight and self-control, beating you up for it or making jokes at you is just their way of making themselves feel better, esp. scince you're the odd ball in the group (so to say). Take one of them out with a group of healthy eaters, I bet they never open their mouth!

[junebug41]

I went through that very thing... and realized that I didn't like the group of people I was hanging out with all that much. It turned out to be a nice way to find a new group (although I retained my "real" friends)

[charolastra00]

My friends don't pick me apart, but it's a struggle to have social time with them anymore. Between being gluten free and eating healthy, it's a real struggle to find common ground. Most of my friends are vegetarians or vegans which works well for all of us, but they don't really understand all the aspects that my diet entails and so they make a stir fry with soy sauce specially for me and are really upset when I can't eat it (soy sauce=gluten).

They're getting better and we all can eat together at Indian restaurants quite easily.

[SamSuni06]

Luckily for me, my friends and family have been very supportive. If my friends and I eat out, we go to a restaurant that does at least serve salad or I'd split a meal with a friend when the portion is too big. In addition, taking food home has become a new habit of mine since I started my diet so eating out has never been a problem for me.

In other words - no food pushers around me