I love this site and have been a lurker and member for years. It has been an ordeal to get to my surgery date which is Oct 16th. I read everyone's posts and see all the enthusiasm for a new life style change and a new life period. But, after I read this girl's post over on OH, it struck me again that this is a decision that will affect me the rest of my LIFE. A commitment for LIFE. I'm all fired up now, but what about down the road. I know the following is long, but gave me pause to think (scared the dickens out of me is what it did). I think that is what some of you long-timers have been trying to tell us all along.
Quote from Debra:
"Those that really know me know I DO NOT like to open up like this but felt I had to at this point....
I really hope to help those that are just starting out and those that are further out and at goal or close to it…. I am sure I will get some flaming on this post but this is the honest truth and if WE can’t be honest with each other than who can we be honest with???
I really love and appreciate everyone here who has given advice and helped those just starting out…… and those who are further out… we all go through so many different changes in this journey….
A week ago I was asked by my best friend (Ramon) to get my blood work done…because honestly I haven’t had it done in almost 2 years….yes I am 3 years out of surgery and feeling great… so why would I need to have it checked right??? Well let’s see WE anyone who has had surgery made an agreement that this was for LIFE…. We have certain things we have to do for LIFE and getting our blood work done every year was one of those things… like taking vitamins every day is another one….like eating right is another one….
I got a call from my doctor yesterday morning she left a voicemail and said she really needed to talk to me about my blood work that there was a lot going on with it…. So I called back 3 times yesterday and had to leave her voicemails…. She called this morning and asked if I had some time to talk… which that never is a good thing… I told her yes…..she asked me if I was taking my vitamins like I should be and I said honestly NO.. haven’t in a long time… just started back up.. I feel fine why should I take them… forgetting about the agreement I made for LIFE…. And she said well it shows…. I am anemic again and all my B vitamins are extremely low… and if I don’t get my iron up again I am going to have to get infusions which I did with the first surgery and believe me I hated getting them… I hate getting any type of needles in me even a finger stick to check my sugar level… I panic and shake and sweat….. and feel close to passing out… so now I have to get a b-12 shot once a week for the next month and then more blood work to see if my levels have come up with the iron and b vitamins…..
Needless to say I have done this to myself… I didn’t take my vitamins (I hate taking medicine any kind of pills – I only take ˝ an ambien each night) and I haven’t been eating like I should be… getting my protein in eating protein first…. Then vegetables...then the other stuff… no I eat what I want when I want and yeah I am at goal but last night I did weigh and the weight is creeping on not much but I am at 130 and that is my limit of where I will let myself get… once it goes over that I have always gone back to basics…. And gotten back down to 120 – 125… that is where I feel most comfortable….
Then of course there is the drinking part… going to be totally honest here…. I had been drinking at least 2 – 3 mix drinks each night…. Just to try and relax…. And not think about anything or worry about anything… well I know that those little drinks are loaded with sugar and of course for some reason I don’t dump on the mix drinks…. And then of course the weekends are different…its more than 2 – 3 drinks… yes I know people talk about trading addictions and I never thought of it as an addiction cause I DON’T have to have it every day….. I can go a day or two without…. It’s just an escape for me and I know that… I don’t know how to relax or calm down my mind is always going on what needs to be done…. What I didn’t do for the day……
Then of course there is the mental part of never really feeling that you are thin enough or small enough – that is one thing that no one prepares you for… even at 3 years out I still see the 227 pound girl… I still wonder can I fit in here… chairs, tables, rides, etc… am I really wearing a size 4, 6 or 8… from a size 18/20 pushing a 22….
This is why being in a support group is so important and not a group that just sits around *****ing about everything…but a group that really supports… that really can help you with what is going on… I know with my group we have some that are a little further out than I am so they are going through things I am just now going through and then of course we have the newer ones who are just starting and need to learn from our experiences…. But its like a kid you can tell them what you have been through and they have to experience it for themselves in order to learn….
Sorry this is so long but there are so many newbies having surgery and they need to know this is for LIFE not just when you get to goal… and have maintained….
thanks for posting this, nan - as i read it i was thinking - well, yes. that's what happens. don't take your vits, it shows. people have ended up in wheelchairs from permanent damage due to lack of b vits. the risks are REAL
the trading addictions thing - yep, it's real!!!!! and we have to be EXTREMELY CAREFUL AND AWARE of what we're doing and why.
and now Debra is faced with some serious reality - her weight has been creeping up on a less-than healthy diet, and her anemia and vit deficiencies are real. she can totally turn this around, but she'll have to pay attention. JUST LIKE THE REST OF US!!!!
Wow, great information for the people just starting out! Makes them (me) understand better what we (I) am taking on. I have to admit, at first i was thinking that you Nanj was writing this. Keep the good information coming!
Thank you for posting this as it is way good to know! I have another one I read on another board that maybe some of you have seen before. It was another reality check for me on what I am planning to do.
"There's noooooooooooooo crying in baseball.....!!!!!!"
That's the sentiment (scenario) that comes to mind sometimes when I hear some of the comments from people who've already had the surgery. In case you haven't made the connection, that's a line Tom Hanks made famous in the movie "A League Of Their Own." Resorting to tears or just giving up every time the going gets tough. Or your sick of taking vitamins, getting in protein is hard, water doesn't taste good, etc. That kinda' thinking is NOT going to make you successful or keep you healthy. ENOUGH already! It's time to LOVE yourself enough to get "TOUGH" with your aftercare. Your long term health is worth it!!
Success comes with a backbone, NOT a wishbone!
First and foremost, you have to keep it POSITIVE. As with everything in life, if you think you can't - you WON'T! Simple enough?
I have to wonder when "we" (as adults) finally take ownership for our actions, our life and our health? We have been given a gift, a second chance to actually LIVE life again instead of merely existing on the sidelines. It's up to each of us to do that as healthy and productively as possible.
We're ALL statistics waiting to happen and the insurance companies are chomping at the bit. The bean counters are eager to drop Weight Loss Surgery ("WLS") from the policies; some already have. Don't you know that any negative feedback thrown into the mix only strengthens their cause? I may not be able to control every thing that happens to my body after WLS, but most things I can. I CHOOSE to take control and I will be a positive statistic when the numbers get counted.
We live in a spoiled society, expecting everything in life to come with a buncha really cool choices. Well, guess what? When it comes to your health, you're not always going to get a choice. You either DO IT and stay healthy, or you DON'T and your body pays the price.
The way I saw it, I had a 90 day healing and adjusting period after surgery. My 'super morbidly obese' body had more then enough stores to survive the learning curve. In turn, it gave me plenty of time to heal, adjust and learn. For those of you OVER 90 day's Post-Op, the probation period is over - its time to get serious and LIVE what you've learned.
~*~ You say you can't get in enough liquids through out the day, don't like the taste of water, or just keep forgetting? -- TOUGH! It's not an option anymore. Find a way to do it, get suggestions and tips from others in support groups, message boards, etc. Read, learn and JUST DO IT!! Why do you think there is a choice here?
~*~ You say you don't like the big horse pill type vitamins, or the tart chalky chewables? ...it's, just too many to bother with? Or maybe you just can't remember to take them? -- TOUGH! You gave up the option NOT to take vitamins when you agreed to have your insides rerouted. FIND a way to get them in; crushed, minced, chopped, liquified, in a shake, etc. No exceptions, your health depends on it.
~*~ Protein is a must. So you can't get it all in via foods and you don't like the way the shakes taste? -- TOUGH! Either get it through your meals (and there are a gazillion food choices out there) or supplement it with protein shakes and bars.
Trust me, I don't drink my protein shake every morning because I think it tastes like a chocolate blizzard from Dairy Queen. Ive tried many varieties over the last 2 years. I'd even venture to say 25 of the top sellers/flavors have crossed my lips. For the record? I've yet to find one that is as 'delicious' as boasted by the distributor. So what. I still drink one every morning. My HEALTH dictates that I need "X" grams of protein per day. If I'm not getting enough from my meals then I supplement a shake. 'Nuff said.
This surgery is a gift, I owe it to me and everyone else fighting the approval process, to do it right! I will continue to choke down my vitamins, my water and my protein every single day, for the REST OF MY LIFE. Some days will be easier then others, regardless, no days will be missed.
It's all about discipline. Create a routine, set a timer, develop a pattern, tie a string around your finger, glue a note to your forehead, whatever it takes.
You're an adult - take responsibility! If this surgery doesn't slap a back bone into you, not much will.
i'm really chuckling about this, Kimberly!!! in one way or another, these points have been made over and over and over again in this forum!!! but i'm THRILLED that someone has written them all down in a get-tough, completely honest list.
but there's one missing!! EXERCISE - and it'll go something like this:
you say you don't have time/are limited/don't want to/don't know where to start? get over it - you HAVE to figure this out. even a spare 5 minutes a few times a day can help. the internet has LOTS of information about doing exercises AT YOUR DESK. even if you just get up and walk in place during commercials, IT COUNTS!!!! and exercises can be modified. getting on the floor isn't an option for me - my knees won't let me get up. abs are done on one of those big balls, or on another raised, flat, hard surface. pushups are done against the wall.
if you haven't exercised in a long time and are very new to this and debilitated, talk to your doc about some sessions with a PHYSICAL THERAPIST. that person will get you started slowly and safely., AND THEN GO HAVE A COUPLE OF SESSIONS WITH A LICENSED, PROFESSIONAL TRAINER!!!! or read a lot from the exercise forum around here. or do some research on the internet. SOMETHING. if you can't work with a trainer for $$$ or other reasons, get your physical therapist to sign off on it. get your doc to look at it. ask your surgeon.
bottom line: DO SOMETHING!!!!!
ok. off the soapbox now!
oh wait - one more thing. for more than two years, my desk was littered with little sticky notes with list on them. and what was the list?? each little note had two columns - one was my PROTEIN intake, the other was my WATER intake.
just do it. figure out what you have to do in order to get this done. it really and truly is a GIFT of a SECOND CHANCE. there are a number of people who had serious problems after surgery, and were extremely limited. but since MOST OF US come through this with flying colors, we gotta just get down to it.
Thank you ..Thank you ..Thank you. I needed a good swift kick in the rear about now. I've not been watching my protein intake as diligently. And I've been eating too many sweets. I've been putting off getting my blood work done for over a week. You ladies are absolutely right. Not only do we owe it to ourselves to do the very best we can...we owe to all those who follow. I also want my place in the statistics to be a positive one. Thanks again. Well said.
Fired up and ready to go, but....long
