I have been yo yo dieting my whole life. Im a binger for sure, and recently looking into why I cannot seem to follow my diet for more than 2 weeks anymore.
I went to OA for a short time many years ago, but I didn't stick around. The main thing for me, is --is abstinence what I want? Dont I need to learn to have a little bit?
Also, I dont belive in God enough to effectively use him as my higher power. Not really sure who/what could be my higher power.
I may go to an eating disorders centre who has a binge breakers program, but they highly believe in learning to have a little bit.
Im a little confused and wonder what you guys think.
I want to lose weight and stop this crazy insanity. But I feel I dont want to work emotionally for it, you know what I mean. How do I get past that?
Personally, I can't have 'a little bit'. I can't have 'just one' drink either. I wish I could, but I've learnt that abstainence is the only thing that works for me.
Its a personal thing, and something you can only answer. The answer might not be the one you want though.
Regarding a Higher Power - this can be anything or anything. As long as you believe in something more powerful than yourself, you have a higher power. You don't need to name it or talk about it - again its something personal. For me, my Higher Power is the Tao. Its not the usual choice of higher power, but it is what works for me. I've known people in AA who have used a mug for thier higher power! My mum doesn't believe in God, but believe in some sort of spiritual higher power. She has been sober for almost 20 years.
How long have you tried abstaining for? Sometimes it can take a little time for all the 'bad' stuff to be cleared from your body. I find that once all the 'bad' is gone, I feel so much better. Lighter, clearer and without worry.
I love the fellowship of OA. When I share things about me and listen to others I don't feel alone. I also enjoy the philosophy of OA and how it flows into my life everyday. Reading the For Today inspiration always seems to be speaking directly to me. For example, the reading today was about not waiting for happiness in the future when I am at a better weight because I have been waiting for 50 yrs. Seek joy now, baby steps and keep moving.
Bumps
When I first got to OA I heard "take what you like and leave the rest". This helped me because I focused on things that I wanted for my life like freedom from food obsession, weight loss and sanity, and ignored the things I didn't really agree with or couldn't understand. I also loved the common identification with other people suffering from the same thing.
After a while I realised that in order to get what other people had which was "strong recovery" I was willing to let go of my thinking/will and became open to something new (that seemed really silly, but it worked).
Hi,
A few weeks ago someone mentioned listing foods in columns of Red foods, Yellow foods and Green foods. The red foods for me are cookies, candy, potatoe chips, peanuts and french fries, Green foods are watermelon, pinapple, chicken and so on. Yellow foods are things like yougert, low fat ice cream, mashed potatoes.
I needed to decide what abstenence is for me and I am still working on Step one.
Bumps
You sound like you're in the same boat as me. I have been yo yo dieting since I was 12 and I am now 34. Everything works, but I haven't been able to keep anything going long enough to reach goal. My diet mentality is black or white. I'm either being completely good or I'm bingeing big time. I feel like I've spent my life either losing or gaining, never maintaining.
I am seriously considering OA. I've never done it. In fact, I've always looked down on it. I'm not sure if I believe in abstinence or really want to abstain. I would like to be able to eat all foods in moderation and eat like a "normal" person. That would be my goal.
That being said, I know that food is controlling my life and that my bingeing is out of control. I'm not sure how I feel about a higher power, but I'm willing to give it a shot anyway. I'm just sick of feeling like a failure and watching myself get fatter and fatter.
Hi Ann,
Welcome Home! Join OA and give it a try. Your story is exactly my story. We have a desease and the gifts of OA allow us to choose to treat our desease everyday. I have been experiencing withdrawal the last 2 days and it is really tough but every hour I don't medicate myself with food I get stronger. We have an illness of self hatred and we begin by learning to love our selves again.
Keep posting, no matter what.
Bumps in the road again...that's me
Don't know if I should join
