Hey all. I'm back after avoiding the forums for awhile. I've been doing soul searching. I know I often say, "It's clicked!" and I do really well a few days. But that's all it is...just a few days. I'm still hovering at 250-256, always on the higher side.
I'm back because I really don't know that much, only about taking advantage of myself and sabataging myself. The only REAL victory I had was when I first dieted and lost the first 20 pounds healthily. Starving isn't glorious or safe, or worth it. I know that. And now it seems like I can't get on track again. I'm back to eating a bunch of crap.
But I'm not here to complain and cry about how I feel about being fat and the shame I have with how I look to myself and others. Because in truth, I don't look that bad, and everyone accepts me.
The problem is that I'm now scared to death...I'm getting a doctor's appointment to be back on my diabetic medicine even though I feel shame when going to the doctor. Always I feel a racing heart, even when I'm not doing anything. My brain is always pulsing. I'm having trouble breathing. I can't move around very well. I have no energy to do anything except sit at my computer, eat and then do nothing. But I'm not depressed anymore. I'm happy now and I'm living my life again somewhat. But I want to live for a long time and I've already suffered from being fat and I'm only 17 years old (my sight is all grainy).
So...I'm ready to lose weight steadily and healthily. I'm ready to eat fruits, veggies, and overall more healthily.
What amount of calories should I do so that I may not feel starved but still lose weight? I'm thinking perhaps 1800 calories. I'm going to ease into exercise. I'm going to stick to this for my health. My goal is to just be a healthy weight now. Before I wasn't doing it for me. Now I am.
Please help me out here.
Last edited by Gamerchick; 07-04-2007 at 08:13 PM.
Reason: Grammar
Hi and welcome back! It's good that you didn't give up. Eating fruits, veggies and more healthy is a good plan. I'm no expert, but I think 1800 cals sounds good. I weighed 234 lbs when I started out and I aimed for 1700-2000 cals and I was losing about 2 lbs a week like that. I'm sure some of the more "seasoned" posters around here will have a better idea though. Good luck!
I'm afraid of having something bad to happen to me like a heart attack or something because of my weight. I feel shame to go to the doctor's and step on the scale and to feel like a huge failure when I'm in there. But I'm going anyway. I'm just scared of something bad happening to me because of all the junk I put in me.
Hi Gamerchick,
I know how you feel about going to the Dr's. I always hung my head low because I was afraid of what he was going to say.
But it is what it is, if he tells you something about your weight, it's only because he knows what the effects are that you can experience.
I have been heavy ALL my life too. It's not fun. I'm 45 now and I just started dieting. I have tried to lose weight in the past, but couldn't do it. Now I found something that is finally working for me.
What it comes down to is worth.
Do we feel worthy? When we treat ourselves or our bodies the way we do, it's because we really don't care and continue to make excuses for the way we look. I know because I've done it.
You need really think about your future, you're still young and it is easier to lose weight when you're young.
Don't give up on you! You can do anything you set your mind to do. Speak positive things into your life, like I can lose weight, I will be down to the size I need to be, or I am worthy and I will treat my body right.
You are unique person and you will have alot to offer this world so please take care of yourself.
God Bless!
What courage you are showing by going to the doctors when you have these feelings - good on you
I also worry about what damage I have done to my body with my obesity. The thing I think now is that if I treat myself gently, move forward with a commitment to myself and make the changes that I need to then it is better than agonising over what I have done. That is in the past... I can learn from it, but being hooked by those negative past things just perpetuates them.
I wish you much love for you visit and the 1800 calories sounds very sensible
That's why it is so important to speak positive things in our life. We can't change what we did in our past, but we can make sure are future is good.
I always had a bad self image and felt like everybody was looking at me.
But now I try to stay positive. When I lost my first five pounds I thought, wow, what progress. And when my weight plateaued, I thought well I'm not doing anything to gain weight and at least I've lost the five. Pretty soon I lost another five.
I mean we just cannot listen to what our mind is telling us if it's negative. We need to realize that we are worth the work and we are "beautifully and wonderfully made".
I care!
Good for you for coming back and facing things down! I agree that 1800 is a good place to start; however, with your specific medical needs I would encourage you to ask your doctor about a good plan. Hopefully you have a caring, supportive doctor. But yes, basically, 1800 calories is a good place to start and try to make sure that the foods you eat are healthful.
I share the concern that apparently you went off your needed meds...? If so I would highly encourage you to get back on them under your doctor's care and then stick with a healthful eating and exercise plan. It won't happen overnight... that's okay; there are lots of us here who share your disappointment at being fat... but you CAN do this!!
Maybe you should consider joining a group that helps support weight loss. I started with Weight Watchers, which was a good starting point, but too flexible for me and I am now doing Healthy Inspirations which has a lot more strict eating and exercise plan. They also continue to teach me how to eat for a year after I reach my goal. For me, going somewhere to be held accountable was what worked for me. Good luck, and go to the doctor, they are there to help.
1800-2000 calories sounds good to me as well, and it will give you plenty of 'wiggle room' later on to adjust if your weight loss slows. I wish you plenty of success in that. It's not easy, but it's very worth it, and YOU are worth it too.
Yes, to all the above... however, I'm gonna encourage you to make the Dr's visit a priority. Get there soon. Don't run on about all the mistakes you've made in the past, just tell him you're scared, you did this, this and this and now you feel like this.
In the mean time ... go for a walk each day, listen to music and remain calm and optimistic. Stick with us, we'll help you though.
Yes, hon, I've seen you go through a lot here on the threads.
There is plenty of information available on 3FC and elsewhere about proper ways to lose weight. Do some research on the site to start with! There are lots of reviews of different weight loss programs and books here (go to the main 3FC home page). That information can help you narrow down your approach to something you can do.
You might also be able to get a referral from your doctor to see a nutritionist for some one-on-one help.
You could also consider WW or one of the other more structured programs, to help you stay on track.
The point is, and you've heard this before, you have to find a program and stick with it. In the past I've seen you start something on your own and then give it up or drift away.
There is a difference between finding a program that can work for you, and insisting on doing it all yourself. You've been doing the latter. Maybe now it's time to follow someone else's directions.
Sorry if this sound harsh, girlfriend--but you know I care about you. You joined in January--now it's July--and now it's time to buckle down! You can do it, but you have to keep going once you start!
Gamerchick: it sounds to me like you should definitely follow some sort of structured plan. That way, there's less room for failure, if you're being told exactly what you need to do. Just find something you might like. Have you ever thought about trying something like WW? A lot of people have had success with that, especially if they go to the meetings... with real life support, there's a whole lot less room for failure. Or South Beach? Or even the Atkins diet? I suggest WW or South Beach because they're both pretty reasonable and promote slower (but steady) weight loss without placing you on advanced restriction. Or, you could do diet2go, though I heard it's pretty expensive, it has all the meals you need planned out for you.
Do you know anyone around you who might want to lose weight? Maybe you could lose weight together. I know weight loss buddies CAN be hard to find, though - two of my neighbors had children and swore they wanted to lose their pregnancy weight, but ditched me any time I asked them if they wanted to exercise or ACTUALLY get down to the plan.
Hi Gamerchick. As one diabetic to another, my advice is that your first priority is to get your diabetes under control. Before starting some stylized diet, ask your doc if he/she can refer you to a dietitian. Diabetics needs are different than non-diabetics so you may have to count calories and carbs and do your exercises and take your meds...but then, your health care professional will show you what to do. Please don't be afraid to talk with your doctor.
I'm scared
You can do it, but you have to keep going once you start! 
