Hello =) So I've had a lot on my mind lately... basically I'm 21 years old and was overweight ever since I turned 5 (which is when my step father moved in) as a child I was very outgoing, wanted to be the center of attention all the time but my step father was very cruel and abused me physically, and mentally. My mother seperated from him about 6 years ago and since then I went from 235lbs to 140lbs. Losing the weight by eating right and excercising a lot. Unfortunatley I still have a problem with food and a even bigger problem with social anxiety. Last month my mom begged me to move with her to a new area about 3 hours away to be closer to our family. She recently got off drugs, I'm so proud of her, and I know she needs me so decided I would move as well.
When we moved I was 150lbs and now 1 month later 167lbs. I finally got a job (which starts in 2 weeks) but for the last month I have been paying my bills with the money I saved or credit card so I don't have money to start a gym or buy my own low cal food like before. But now I'm also faced with having to meet new people and if I go to a gym, start a gym alone instead of with a friend like I have previously done. It's hard because I get so nervous to put myself in situations by myself, I like to start things with a friend so I can go with them until I feel comfotable alone which usually takes a few months. I also love to walk since I then won't have to be around people but we moved to a small country town with no sidewalks and very dangerous roads.
I wish I could get over this fear but it seems like my family really doesn't understand, so I just don't talk about it. Even just when a new person talks to me I turn red and shake a little, which is even more embarrassing.
I always thought once I lost weight I'd be more confident but it's harder done then said. My family is also overweight and tells me i'm crazy because i'm beautiful, the skinniest one and the only one that still has a chance now that they are older, but no one will help or go with me.
Wow, I really feel like i'm starting to write a novel, lol. I just thought it'd be nice to write down all my feelings and not have to worry about people thinking i'm silly.
Thank you for taking the time to read my very long thread.
Congrats on already losing weight!! I also have social anxiety, and I already have it in my head that it will go ahead when I lose weight, but will see. Are you on anything for the social anxiety??
I don't have any advice, I just wanted to say WELCOME!!!! And congratualtions on your weightloss so far! You've over come so much and should be incredibly proud!
I'm just 'shy' so I tell myself to suck it up and talk to people. I'm sure the 'suck it up' method is much less successful when you have actually anxiety. So I hope others have some good constructive advice for you!
I've had problems with anxiety too, and it really helped me to talk to someone about it. I saw a counselor once a week for probably about 4 months, and it really helped me! You have to learn what method works for you in alleviating anxiety. There are a lot of different methods that can help you. There's also medicine, which I also took for about 2 years. Good Luck with your new job and congrats on the weight loss!
Thank you so much to all of you that replied to my message, that really made my day! After I wrote this I felt a little better just saying something and excercised some. I would actually love to see a counselor I'm just not at the point in my life where I could afford that, but I wish I could. It's nice to know there are such nice people out there that want to help, and are in similar situations, also thank you for the motivation and support.
jill, i have very bad social anxiety and am not financially able to see someone once a week about it. it's really sad that we can't get the help we need because we dont have the money but one thing that has helped me is going online and seeking out forums and websites for support. there is a section here for losing weight with problems such as depression, etc, maybe you can find some comfort and advice there. also, ever go to a bookstore and dive into some self-help books? some are total crap but there are some great writings out there that can not only comfort you but give you tips on dealing with your feelings. i know i get soooo red when approached too, and when i have to talk to someone in front of another person... eh, i'm a mess with it comes to this stuff. when i was little i was painfully shy... but have worked hard on it and have improved, but still must deal with debilitating anxiety. sorry i'm not writing anything helpful but know that you are not alone. and ya know... imagine if you just stopped thinking, forced yourself to go into a gym or to a park and did some exercising, it wld make you feel so good afterwards. you have to get out of your head. i see you already did some, that's excellent!!! and btw, CONGRATS on the weight loss - that's amazing! i have a lonnnng way to go and your success is inspiring. for that alone you shld be so proud of yourself and tell yourself you deserve to go out and exercise wherever you want. and tell yourself when you're feeling very nervous, that you lost that weight and accomplished a task that so many in this country cannot - that you look so good and deserve to move that body and continue your wonderful success.
Social Anxiety.. Please read
And congratualtions on your weightloss so far! You've over come so much and should be incredibly proud!
