[brat_61886]

ok so any of you that have read some of my posts have realized i have bigger issues than just weight. so i started going to a therapist to deal with everything. things have been ok. ive had some bad days. anyone thats been in therapy knows that it brings back a lot of things and you have days when you are just mad at the world. well anyways i have a week like that and after i got over it, i went home. i dont have a relationship with my father at all. he is always at my grandparents house because he is to much of a loser to actually take care of himself. anyways he showed up one night and i did what i always did, if he talked to him i talked to him, kinda the way you talk to someone u know but ur not friends with. anyways one morning he decided that it was his job to set my straight on who i can date and who i cant. now remember i'm turning 21 in june and he hasnt had custody of me since i was 2. on top of that he uses the N word over and over again telling me i can only date white men and nothing else. of course the made me very angry, not that he was telling me who i can date and who i cant because he has absolutely no control over me, but that he was using racial terms. i sat there and told him to stop and to shut up and he finally got up and left. as he was walking into his room to get something he told me he was going to lay me across his lap and beat my fat ***. the fact that he called me fat didnt even bother me. i am fat, but the fact that he threatenend me pushed me over the edge. i got up and attacked him. by the time i was done his shirt was in pieces and he was bleeding from 3 different places.
has anyone else ever had to deal with things like this? how do you deal with it? i'm so open to advice right now. have any of you had to cut urself off from your family because they were narrow minded and just stupid??

[momerath]

I know exactly how you feel. My dad is a completely useless excuse for a human being. My mom, who was an amazing person (and whose only crime was falling in love with a total *******), died when I was 7. From then on, my sister and I were raised by our dad, who was verbally abusive, always had an excuse not to work, used marijuana (not so bad) and cocaine (kind of a serious issue!), and (most relevant to this site), fed us nothing but junk food.

My sister still lives with him in BC, but she's planning on moving as soon as she graduates from high school after next year. I moved immediately after grad to the other side of the country, and I rarely talk to him. From what I hear, he hasn't had a job in about 2 years now, because he's too "sick".

It's good that you're going to therapy to deal with your emotional issues. I would probably consider it if I could afford it. However, I've healed for the most part, and life is looking pretty good these days. What I've learned is there comes a point where you have to take action, and that means taking responsibility for your own happiness. For many years, I used the victim excuse. I made myself believe that it was ok to be miserable and overweight because of "all that I had been through." But eventually I clued in; Yeah, life can suck sometimes, but it's up to me to make it better and to make sure that I enjoy every second of it!

I hope that you can find the healing that you need, and if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always willing to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on

[jessicarenee331]

Well I can also relate here. Though my dad is a completely functioning, law abiding citizen now, he still is the most conceited, self centered, selfish jerk ever. When my mom was pregnant with he beat her and threatened her over and over. Then he actually kidnapped me when I was a new born and went to jail for it. in 1996 (im skipping over some things to make this shorter) he married his now current wife and has been a different person ever since. not to my knowledge has he ever hit her. She is like his precious little thing. They live a "swinger" lifestyle, (literally). I find it gross, but hey they are adults. Anyhow, I dated black guys in high school and he told me he would hate me if i wasnt his blood relative. He called me an ungreatful B*. skip forward, to when I told him I was pregnant, (I was 18) he had this long talk with my bf and I telling us how he hoped we didnt raise our kid like my mom raised me and stuff like that. then when we were leaving he says to my bf "id shake your hand but I cant think of one single good thing that could ever come out of this situation." Of course he is very much into impressing people and very much into his image, so now that my son is here, and ever since he's been born actually, he treats him like a show piece. Pisses me off. He didnt see my son for a year actually, because we had a big blow out. I just recently allowed him back into our lives, but not much. Maybe a visit once in 2 weeks or something.

Anyhow, now that I've vented, I understand how you feel. I'm sorry you're hurting.

[Treighsie]

My dad once told me he'd rather I dated a woman than a black man... of course, this was over 15 years ago... before homosexuality was too common... I was so angry at that comment.

[brat_61886]

thanks everyone. it makes me feel that i'm not alone even when i have to cut myself off from my family.

[modkittn]

Wow, after reading all your stories... I mean I love my parents, they are my best friends now that I'm older (26) and we have always been close... but I appreciate them so much more after all that! My parents always told me and both my brothers that they didn't care who I dated (race or sexuality) and that they just want us to be happy and with someone who treats us well and loves us.