[BA99TJ]

But names really do hurt sometimes. And it's unbelieveable how ignorant some people are.

We have some neighbors next door in a multi family house that yell all the time. Their kids yell, they fight, there is frequent uproar - to the point that we usually keep the windows on that side of the house closed. Five different families have moved out of the apartment beneath them in the 2 years we've lived here - most of them commenting to us frequently about all the yelling and running around going on upstairs in their apartment. If you want to go outside, you'll hear them fighting.

Anywho, today they came home, and were yelling out of the car all the way up the stairs. My girls (our dogs) were out back, and Coda started barking because they were yelling. So they started yelling "SHUT UP DOG!" So I said "The dog wouldn't bark if you guys weren't constantly yelling." The mom yelled "We don't yell, and at least we're keeping our kids in line." I said, "Yes, you do yell, a lot. We hear you everytime you are outside." The dad said "Who said that to you?" (to the mom), and I said "Your next door neighbor who is tired of hearing you guys yell all the time."

So, they go inside, and a battle ensues, with the husband calling the mom an f#*)(#$* b@$#*(), and her kicking him out and slamming the door. He leaves. Soon after, she hollers out the window "You know, Slim Fast works wonders!" Being the type of person I am I'm REALLY bad at "come backs", and I just sat their speechless. DH commented quietly, "So does medication and anger management therapy."

A while goes by, I'm still sitting in the driveway watching DH try to fix his car, and the kids start yelling "Shut up you D*#$, yah that's right, I see you.. you should just shut up you fat D#$#". I say nothing. A little while later, the kids start yelling "You should lose some weight you fat b#$%^!" So, I hollered back "Grow Up!" Then the mom chimes in "No, you grow up!" I said "I'm not the one who's kids are yelling swear words out the window at the neighborhood!" I started to walk inside, and ALL THREE OF THEM start "MOOOO"-ing out the window.

I just can't believe how stupid and ignorant people are. I mean seriously, they don't know me, they have no idea that I have a list 5 feet tall of medical issues, and that I've been so sick over the past year I haven't been ABLE to lose weight. They don't know I have insulin resistance/PCOS that makes it 20 times harder to lose weight. They don't know me at all, so what gives them the right to holler things at me about my weight??

All I did was comment on the yelling, and yes, it happens. I didn't say they were bad parents, or anything along those lines.

But most of all, I hate the fact that it hurts. I hate the fact that I went inside and almost cried. And I hate the fact that this world is full of so many ignorant people.

[sockmonkey70]

WOW..I think you are a very strong person just to have kept LIVING there that long. I am one of those people who would have moved out LOL..I hate conflict.

Don't let their ignorance bother you...seriously..They are the crazy ones yelling out the windows letting the WHOLE WORLD know they are a disfuncitonal family. I would rather be fat and sane than skinny and crazy any day. All those people do is make a fool of themselves on a daily basis, so don't let anything they say have a bit of merit to you. They are not worth it, and I think you can probably see that.

And they ARE bad parents. Somone should tell them that. If I had ever said something that cruel to someone and my mom HEARD IT..I would have gotten my butt kicked LOL.

Just let it roll off and get on with your day. You are a wonderful person for atleast trying to stand up for yourself! No one should have to put up with that on a daily basis.

[toofatforu]

oh my goodness and i thought i used to have the neighbors from ****!i empathize with you

[Desiderata]

Wow. Just, wow. Proof positive that people should get licensed before they spawn! I'm so, so sorry that you have to live next to such awful people. It sounds like they can't put up with their wretched selves, either.

On one hand, it sounds like it they really don't need to be encouraged and escalation would be bad. On the other hand, you have a definite right not to be harassed and put up with so much noise in your own home. If it gets really out of hand (even if they're keeping all their awful arguing to themselves, just really loudly), don't forget that most places have noise ordinances and that's what those non-emergency police numbers are for.

Hugs to you. I don't know how I'd be able to put up with it.

[seranab]

My mum once said to me (something I will never forgot) "Only let it hurt you if it comes from above you... not below you" Basically... only let what people say about you if they're "better" than you, but looking at the disgusting behaviour of the parents and their children... they're a lot lower than your strong self. Well done for being the bigger person (pun not intended). The world needs more people like yourself.

[Michelle]

BETH ANNE ~~ I'm SO sorry for these rude ignorant so called neighbors that you have to live by. Please don't let their words get to you, and I know this can be hard, but you are way better and don't deserve this kind of treatment.

[VelvetCyberpunk]

They're trash, plain and simple. I've lived around people like that too. You just have to ignore them. I do have to wonder why the police aren't called when they do yell like that, however. That's a disturbing the peace violation. My Aunt and Uncle lived next to people like that, and the woman even threatened my Aunt when she was pregnant, and almost ready to give birth. Disgusting...

[NickiB68]

Hi Beth Anne. People never cease to amaze me. Your neighbors have some serious issues and to take the spotlight off of their problems, they decided to pick on you. I think you have a very wise husband...it does sound like they could use some anger mgmt classes. I know the words hurt, but I hope you can remember that their opinion doesn't matter. Folks that have never had a weight problem will never understand.
Personally, if the family is renting that space, I'd call their landlord and file a complaint.

Oh Beth Anne!

That is simply horrendous. My goodness. What the heck is wrong with some people? Clearly they need help.

Keep it together, and honestly, don't be afraid to call the police, especially if you think there is violence over there. Take care.

[emilyk]

Oh my god. I am just speechless. They are trash and I am appalled at what they are teaching their children. Of course it hurts, though, and I'm sorry you had to deal with them and will continue to have to deal with them. That really sucks. Good luck dealing with them.

[sweetnsassyfied]

Beth Ann I agree with what everyone has said thus far. I will add this, (Playing Devils Advocate..) You knew "about" them for a couple of years now. Knew how they talked, knew how explosive they were, and yet, You lowered yourself to their level. Granted it was probably the straw that broke the camels back type thing. But when you spoke these words You opened the door... taking the attention off their own family and turning it towards you and yours.

"SHUT UP DOG!" So I said "The dog wouldn't bark if you guys weren't constantly yelling."

You basically gave them fresh amo. No matter how immature it is. They werent very mature to begin with but you knew that too. They have been fighting or talking this way with themselves for so long its getting old for them. You have inadvertantly united them..Now they have you and your family and your pets to vent upon, to release their venom, angst, and frustrations on.

Hindsight being what it is... is not going to help you in this situation. Use it for foresight now. Calling the police will only escalate the situation and make matters worse for you all. Because they will be able to pin the complaints on you. Perhaps even turning verbal attacks into vandalism. I do think its wise to have the Landlords phone number for future reference because people who act and live like this... you know it spills over into every aspect of their lives.

Personally, as you nay be able to tell by now.. I have a little experience in with such people... I would find a quiet time where you could speak with the Mom alone. Just you and her. Pull her aside, apologizing for the way you handle the situation. Explain you were at your wits end.... These feelings can be justified, You are sorry... because now your family is a target... You were at your wits end..Because of their family... ( I know you feel you were defending your animals but the best defense is an Offense and the number one rule here is... Keep your enemies close so you can keep an eye on them and know what their up to. ) Also you can bring up that you have been neighbors for years with out incident. That you dont want this one time thing to spoil the repoir your families have had so far.

Who knows in the end... This woman could end up becoming a very dear friend. She and her family could benefit from knowing and seeing how functional family gets on. Even if the worst case scenerio happens you will at least know you tried to better the situation.

[mtyler17]

Grr sometimes I understand why grown adults snap and punch kids! Wee ****s! I have horrible neighbour kids too but nothing like that! These ones refrain to running past, grabbing my new hat and stamping it into muddy puddles- or trying to stab my with plastic spoon.. They make me soooo mad! You're so strong to put up with that family! When I wish apon my star tonight I'll throw in something about them all getting sore throats or just loosing their voices all together, some people don't deserve speech. x x

[barbygirl43]

So sorry you have to deal with these type of people daily.

[djs06]

What a bunch of dopes! The best they can do to insult you is talk about your weight? Ooooh I'd have plenty to say to them....but wouldn't want to stoop to their level either. I don't know what advice to offer you, other than to remain calm. If it happens again, show you're the person with more integrity and tell them you're not going to trade insults and will not talk to them unless they are willing to start acting rationally.

Please don't let this affect you too much. As you know, there is so much more to life than people's mean words.

[Kae]

Sounds to me like you hit 'em where it hurts and they did the same. They reacted to defensively because what you said was true and that's why they were quick to defend themselves. If they project anger on you then it takes away from the sting of the fact that you called them out for being psycho, disfunctional neighbors. My neighbors are just like that. However, they have gotten quieter since I threatened to call the cops.