[TempleBody]

Hey, all. I am having trouble with the thought of giving up sugar or cakes or whatever up entirely. Is it really necessary to give it up entirely? Can I never learn to eat only one normal sized portion? It just seems like giving up something entirely is difficult. Sugar is in everything almost. I'd like the occasional whole foods cookie or a slice of birthday cake.


Any thoughts?

[Elerine]

hi!

I don't think it is ever smart to completly deny yourself something. If you know you can't have it, it's all you ever want. I tell myself that I can have anything I want, it's just smarter not to.

That said, unless you have a birthday to go to everyday, one slice of cake won't hurt. It won't ruin everything you've worked for. All the women here talk about lifestyle changes. I agree. Lead a healthy lifestyle, eat healthy food, and every now and again, really enjoy that slice of cake.

Kylie

[marny]

Hi there-
In OA we learn that certain foods are triggers for us. These trigger foods cause our brains and bodies to react in abnormal ways to food. We continue to want to keep eating them long after we are full. The effect doesn't stop there. We lose our sanity by becoming consumed with the thought of food.

We've learned that once we figure out what our trigger foods are, we can choose to remove them from our lives. By doing this we are freeing ourselves of the insanity of food obsession. We don't all have the same trigger foods although sugar tends to be very common.

There are a lot of options on dealing with this. One is that we take it one day at a time. We abstain from our trigger food today and deal with tomorrow tomorrow. We don't spend all day thinking about what am I going to do at the next party or holiday. Instead, we just deal with the present.

Some people commit to 30 days. They abstain from a trigger food for 30 days, and then decide if they want to continue. If they don't feel that their heads are clearer and their life is better, they can take the food back.

If a person has the disease of compulsive overeating, then they're playing with poison by thinking that they can eat their trigger foods from time to time or on special occasions. That's simply inviting the disease in to take over. OA teaches that it's the first compulsive bite that kills us. If we take that first bite, then we start the craziness, obsession, and allergic reaction all over again.

I have not eaten my trigger foods for over a year now. I do not wish that I had them back. In fact, they scare the crap out of me because I know what eating them leads to. Rather than feeling like I am being "denied" something, I feel complete freedom from it. I'm free from having to make the choice to eat or not eat it. I'm free from being obsessed by how much of it I ate. I'm free from the entire downhill freefall that it causes.

Yes, we go through some withdrawl in the beginning. Yes, it's tough to give up these foods that we are addicted too. But, unlike a diet, we are not doing it alone. We have tools, support, and God's help. We have people to call when we want to eat. We have meetings to go to, books to read, steps to work, and a whole new way of life that doesn't require stuffing our feelings with food.

[charlenej]

Temple Body,

This was big for me when I first started too. I could not imagine giving up sugar in the beginning. It was my drug and emotionally I could not give it up in the beginning. It would have sent me over the edge I think.

The best thing about OA for me has been that it is not a diet. For the first time in my life I'm not on a diet.

In the beginning I was honest about what my binge/trigger foods were and agreed not to eat those. Chocolate chip cookies and brownies were definitely at the top of my list and it was hard to give up but I knew they sent me over the edge and I could never stop at one. I've added some things that I notice make me "crazy."

After five months of being in program I eat very little sugar. It's a miracle. But I haven't given it up completely. Many in my meetings don't touch it ever. It works for them. That is not my abstinence. You have to decide and be honest about what works for you. And it may change as you get stronger.

I feel like I basically have learned how to eat all over again. I used to binge and starve constantly. So with my sponsor we kept it simple in the beginning: three meals and one snack a day, no second helpings but no restrictions on any food except triggers I had already discussed. This simple plan still works for me. I am losing weight slowly at an average of a little less than a pound a week but feel good about it. I now focus on nutrition and what TO eat rather than what not to eat.

A sponsor can help you work through the food issues and help you develop a food plan that's right for you.

Hope that helps.

Charlene

[TempleBody]

Thanks for the comments. I guess it seems overwhelming. Today I was in the groccery store and trying to get fruit, veggies, nuts, and fish for my healthy eating lifestyle. After awhile I started to feel overwhelmed. I wanted to cry. I just looked at all the food and I wanted to it so bad. I mean I didn't really want to buy them but I wanted to allow myself to buy them and eat them if that makes sense. I really just wanted to cry. I came home and ate fruit.

Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself? Maybe I should just keep coming to the meetings and order the books. I don't want to say I'll "wait" to be abstient because then that's just putting things off. I'm finding even one day at a time to be very diffcult. Today I had a slice of pie with dinner. Then I had a slice of zuccini cake at a meeting. I was very sad at myself for the zuccini cake and part of me just wanted to get more junk food but I came home after the groccery store with none and only ate fruit.

Anyway, I'm in the online meeting now...oddly enough the topic is ODAT and keepin it in a day!

[Lisette]

Dear Templebody,

Don't be so hard on yourself! You're doing just fine at the pace that works for you! When I even entertain the thought of no more of my favorite foods forever, something in my head just kind of goes off and makes me want it that much more! And that's even with lots of years in OA!

I don't want to discourage you about this, we're all different in how the program works. The saving grace for me was when I read in the "Promises" that one by one, the things that gave us problems in the past would gradually fade away. One of the biggest examples of this that happened to me was whenever I would check out at the grocery store, all those goodies in the racks would scream my name and I could never, (hardly ever!), get out without just buying myself a little something. But, after about 5 or 6 months of meetings, I noticed that I was breezing through the lines without even glancing at the junk! What a miracle for me! It was incredible!! Even to this day, with my weight gain and struggles with getting to a meeting, that problem hardly ever raises it's head.

Just be patient, kind to yourself, and don't think you have to work your program exactly like someone else, God will give you the grace and strength in good time to deal with things in the perfect way for you! If you fall off the wagon, forgive yourself and start one day at a time again right then and there. One of my good friends at a meeting says she sometimes can't even do one hour at a time and has to "white knuckle" it one minute at a time, but God helps her through the hard times.

I'm so proud of you, be brave, and never give up!

Elaine