[PERAXIES]

Hello, its late, and ive just found this amazing forum, inwhich everyone seems so supportive. for so long, ive felt like the only woman who suffers with weight issues, and tonight, is no differant. im know im unloading here, and tommorow, i will feel differant about posting on the internet, but for now, im lost. hopeless, and feeling like i should just eat myself into oblivion. My story.. and please let me know if there is someone out there who can relate....

I was heavy most of my life, but, one year, i made a change. i lost weight ( i wasnt perfect) but i felt good about myself and my confidence grew dramaticaly. than i met my boyfriend, and lost some more weight. (because he told me while he was drunk one night, that he thought i was Fat compared to his Ex's) and i was even happier when i was skinnier.. and than i got pregnant. and brought a beautiful baby girl into the world. but..... i gained weight. alot of weight. over 100 lbs. im now at about 300lbs, and i cant seem to lose it. . i dont know what to do. i feel lost. alone. unloved. even though he tells me he loves me , and that he wants me to be happy not skinny... i know how he really must feel. . if he thought i was fat before. how must he think of me now? -- anyways. i dont know what to do. i cant get out an exercise. my baby is just to cranky to leave alone with anyone. i cant always go for walks, it rains alot where im from. . how do i exercise?! how do i diet!? nothing that i tried before is working..... im so lost. and feel so alone. . thanks for listening.

-LA

[2frustrated]

Hi! Welcome to 3FC - we won't let you get lost!!!

You CAN do things - how about walking in place in front of the TV, or dancing around to music, even using your bouncing baby as a weight and lifting her up and down a few times You don't have to go out, you can start off at home.

As for starting the diet, well try to take it one step at a time. Take a real good look at what you're eating right now - you could try writing down what you eat for a day or two, then have a look at that and see where you could easily make healthier changes. If you don't have a clue, then post it here and there will be PLENTY of people who can help you out.

Say you always have 3 cookies with a morning cup of coffee - how about only having one for a week and see what happens. You won't feel deprived and you'll still be eating cookies, but not eating as many Try using smaller plates for your meals, so that you subconciously eat less. After all, it's still a FULL plate!



You deserve to do this for yourself, you will gain confidence and self-respect and be proud of yourself. Just think how amazing you'll feel after dropping even just a couple of pounds - YOU can do this. And you'll be doing it for YOU, and you will feel SO much better.

Start off little, start slowly, but gradually increase the healthy things you do. Don't go mental and start off eating lettuce leaves for a day and doing 5 hours of exercise a day - no-one can keep that up! The key is to make small changes that you can live with, day after day, week after week, year after year. This is a lifestyle change, not a diet.

You can do this

[rockinrobin]

Peraxies, I think many, many of us can relate here. As for your BF thinking you're fat. Well let me tell you something. Warning this may sound harsh. So if you don't want to read harsh stuff, I suggest you stop now. I was 287 lbs at just 5 feet tall, my husband didn't use the fat word. I was very fortunate in that area. But quite frankly I didn't need him or anyone else to tell me - there was just no way around it - I WAS fat. Whether he said it or not. I was unhealthy, unhappy and unproductive. Now that doesn't mean hubby didn't love me, because of course he did. And I'm sure your BF does really and truly love you. And he won't love you anymore if you are thin. He loves you just the way you are, for who you are, not what you look like.

Anyway. I am so sorry you are feeling so hopeless. I used to feel the same exact way. But I promise you there IS hope. So much hope. Start by changing up little things, get all the junk out of your home. Replace it with healthy, nutriitious and yummy foods. Set yourself up for success. Make each and every thing you put in your mouth a healthier and better choice then previous. Or a smaller portion. Find some activities that you can do instead of eating when you are stressed or bored. Kinitting, reading, journaling, a hot bath, a hot cup of tea. The computer. 3FC is open 24/7. As far as exercise you can start out slowly. Get a fun workout video and pop it in. Start out at just 15 minutes and slowly increase. Or like 2frustrated said, dance around and walk in place.

This is a doable and worthwhile thing. You deserve to be healthier and happier and more fit. Make yourself a priority. It will have a snowball effect on everyone and everything around you. You CAN do this. And we are here to help you in whatever capacity you need.

[Cheryl14]

Hi LA!

Welcome!

2frustrated and rockinrobin have given you FABULOUS advice! This site is a lifesaver because as Robin says, it is open 24/7! There are so many that come here that you are sure to get an answer, some encouragement, MANY shoulders to cry on, etc.

It's tough when your baby needs you and you feel fat and discouraged about everything! I've been in that place. It does not feel very nice. The thing that you need to realize is that you don't have to STAY in that place! A world of happiness is right there for the taking!

Read over Robin's post again. She's lost 106 pounds...since SEPTEMBER! She's a whole different person than she was a year ago, even SIX MONTHS ago! You can do this, LA! We are here for you!

I hope that you will revisit often and reap the benefits of feeling lighter and stronger and happier as you get a plan that works for you. There are so many suggestions at every part of the site! Hundreds of people here have been right where you are now! This IS POSSIBLE, LA!!!

Cheryl

[JayEll]

Hey LA,

You got some of the big losers helping out!

I just wanted to add that sometimes an exercise bike in your home can be a real help. Often you can find them used at tag sales and such if money is an issue. They are a great way to get started when one is heavier because you are sitting and taking the load off your leg joints. And you can do them while watching TV, listening to books on tape, music, etc.

Just be sure that you get the seat height right and that it's comfortable for your back--the "recliner" types don't work at all for me, I need one that's more like a regular bike.

Good luck!
Jay

[Heather]

Peraxies -- Oh hun, I've been right where you are. Okay, without a baby, but still.

There are many of us here who have a lot of weight to lose. Two support groups you might want to check out are the 300+ and Ready to Try Again group and the 100 pound club (both under Support Groups).

In both places you will find women who really understand what you're talking about.

As you can tell from the posters above, people around here love to find ways to solve problems. We've been there and had to figure out how to make changes in our lives and are eager to share. It sounds like you're feeling a bit overwhelmed, but I'd urge you to just pick a couple of things, try them, and then develop a plan over time for what you want to do.

They are right, this is a lifestyle change, and it's scary and amazing all at the same time. But it IS worth it. And you CAN do it!!!!

WELCOME TO 3FC!

[almostheaven]

Don't be thinking you know how your husband must feel...you don't. Some men actually LIKE larger women...to each their own. Pointing out that you were fatter than his past girlfriends doesn't mean he was put off by it. But that said, you can't lose weight for him, not successfully. You have to lose weight for YOU and you alone. For all the right reasons. Do you want to be healthier, do you want to be able to do more with less effort, do you want to be around for many many years to raise that baby? These are good reasons to lose that make it something more than just doing it so someone will like you more or so people will think you look better.

As for exercising with a baby, you can. You need to motivate yourself in the positive though and try to change the negative feelings. Get a jogging stroller with a rain shield. And, you won't melt if you get wet. I hate being out in the rain myself, but not as much as I used to. It's not nearly as bad as I used to picture it being. And like others said, exercise at home. When my son was very small, I'd put him in his swing and he'd watch me exercise to a DVD. Sometimes I held him while exercising...aerobics AND weight training. Or I'd exercise while he napped. But when the weather's good, I'll go to the park and jog with him in the jogging stroller and make a day of it, putting him on the swings awhile, feeding the squirrels and having lunch at a picnic table. And some days, I've stayed out and gotten caught up in the rain. So it washed the sweat from my run off.

There are positive ways you can look at things, but when we're used to thinking of them negatively, it's hard to change the way we look at them. We just have to try and keep reminding ourselves to think positively.

[PERAXIES]

I knew it, today, i feel differantly!!! you all are so supportive, thank you for your wonderful reply's. this is exactly what i need. i dont have a support network where i live. . i dont have any friends here.. its kinda a lond story.. ( we moved, new city.. i got pregnant.. dont really leave the house... lalallaa so the story goes) anyways. THANK YOU!!! i will try all these things. my lil darling has a hard time letting me put her down, so im saving for a treadmill. i'll just put her in a back pack and away i'll go!!! my biggest obstical is eating. i have a hard time with portion control. but i will do it. my sake, and the sake of my daughter really. . i dont want her going through the same challenges as i have. SOO!!! THANKS for the big welcome.. you will see alot more of me!! i stayed up till 2 am looking at all your wonderful posts. and am ready to begin a new day. . with new vigor. you all seem great.. i can do this... thank you.

-LA

[cbmare]

Welcome. I'm relatively new here myself. Let me tell you, these people on here care.

If you have some place like a Play It Again Sports, you might find a treadmill there. Also, check out Craig's List as well as freecycle.org.

Check out some of the PBS stations in your area. There are quite a few exercise programs on there. Just don't try and overdo at first. You're gonna have to sneak up on your exercise longevity. You might want to check the library. I rented dvds from them until I decided on one to buy. Also, look for dvds that encourage you to exercise with your baby. In fact, I think one of the TV stations had an exercise show doing that for a bit.

Also, there is something named fitday. Many of us use it. Log everything into it. (every rice, every krispie, etc.) Include whatever you are drinking. There is a section there where you can log your activities as well.

Please check back in. Also, some people on here buddy-up. You might want to tell us where you are so perhaps you can find someone who knows exactly what you are going through and can be a source of support and strength.

[Sidonie]

I just wanted to say Hi! I only joined a few weeks ago, and this place has been a great help, everyone is so nice. I hope you stick around.

[almostheaven]

Yeah, BTDT Peraxies. I was ALMOST to goal, had just given up my job, cancelled my registration after just having enrolled for the next semester in night classes, and moved with my hubby over 700 miles to go care for both his ailing parents. We became embroiled in a royal mess with the state and a distant relative with hubby being their only child trying to take care of his parents and us now without jobs, me 40, him 50, and my daughter 21, and yup...I ended up pregnant. ::sigh:: It was an emotional roller coaster. And I'm in a new city, don't know my way around or anything.

So I get online and find routes to jog and kept going. I'd worked too hard and was determined to not let my pregnancy get too out of hand or to allow myself to become too complacent during pregnancy that I'd never get back to exercise after. I just had to find the determination and make myself do it. And the benefit is that my son sees it, and learns from it. At nearly 18 months, he loves getting on the stair stepper. LOL Kid's got some mighty powerful legs. He'll also have the opportunity to learn to eat better than I did growing up. I've not subjected him to white flour, he gets whole wheat bread and pasta. I try all veggies on him hoping he'll try them out. He likes squash, but not zuccini, go figure. He'll grow up with some better eating habits than I did. So I'll start his healthy life out for him.