Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 03-12-2007, 01:34 AM   #1  
I CAN DO IT
Thread Starter
 
Lindsy Goes RAWR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Arizona
Posts: 6

S/C/G: 200/174/130

Height: 5'7

Unhappy Losing Weight For A Guy?

Okay heres the story, I like this guy.. ( the average teenage girl syndrome) and he has a girlfriend that is a Pommie(shes basicly a cheerleader but without the cheer. she just dances), he is on varsity football and varsity baseball.
I think the world of him,adorable. Wow.anyways.
Iv been vegan, and lost 20 pounts in 3 months without woking out. But sence i relize he dates "thin" girls i want to become one.
So Iv been basicly starving myself, and hikin my mountain for 30 min a day because it gets boring when you get up there..
But I dont know why i just cant get him of my mind. and my weight.
Sometimes i contemplate going Belemic.
But i know that my mom would catch me and that would be no good.
Help!
Why do i seem to like him so much.

Last edited by Lindsy Goes RAWR; 03-12-2007 at 01:35 AM. Reason: Relized it made no sence.
Lindsy Goes RAWR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2007, 01:43 AM   #2  
Is on an Infinite Cut
 
Ready2ShedLBS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ft Meade Maryland
Posts: 682

S/C/G: 165/152/140

Height: 5'4

Default

Oh.. my... Bulemia = bad bad bad bad bad news, puking is gross anyways..

You cant starve yourself because you will only end up gaining weight, and just because the pommie is thin doesnt mean he *only* likes thin girls. Besides, like you said, he has a girlfriend so even if you did starve yourself paper thin, who's to say he would even break up with her? I just think its a HUGE mistake to try to lose weight for a guy. 9 times out of 10, they arent what they seem anyways.
Ready2ShedLBS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2007, 04:43 PM   #3  
Junior Member
 
babeedee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 10

Default

when i read your messege it reminded me alot of myself. i met a guy while being heavy and i really liked him too, he even use to tell me how he liked the girls in those car magazines ect.. i thought the world of him as well. i was out of town for about 6 months and i did manage to lose weight while i was away. i simply focus on other things aside from eating and was out and about doing things (which is what i think helped me lose weight). anywho i came back and when he saw me again he was like "oh you look different" and was all about trying to hook up or whatever but you know what.. it was at that point that i realized that it did matter to him that i had lost weight and that if thats all he cared about then it wasnt worth it. what if long term i would of ended up with him and got married ect had kids and got bigger.. would he leave me because i was bigger? i didnt want to risk being with someone so superficial so you know what, i stopped taking his calls and basically kicked him to the curb.. its not worth it girl and by the way i was about 150 then (im 5'8) so imagine him with me right now at the point that iam.. it would be horrible.
babeedee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2007, 05:33 PM   #4  
Member
 
kelema's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: MA
Posts: 58

S/C/G: 130/130/125

Height: 5' 8"

Default

Losing weight for a guy is never a good idea because you won't be able to keep it off. You need to lose weight for YOURSELF because you want to be healthy. And bulimia is not healthy nor pretty. It'll wreck your hair, fingers, and teeth (Does that sound beautiful to you?)
kelema is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2007, 05:36 PM   #5  
I CAN DO IT
Thread Starter
 
Lindsy Goes RAWR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Arizona
Posts: 6

S/C/G: 200/174/130

Height: 5'7

Default

I see what your saying. But i think that ths is one of those i gotta figure it out on my own kinda situations. you know. Like i can take your word for it, as in if he is to superficial and just look for a persons face rather then heart then its no good. but i think i have to figure that out with him on my own so i have no reason to still like him.
boys can be so lame.
Lindsy Goes RAWR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2007, 08:03 PM   #6  
Senior Member
 
buckettgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 430

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsy Goes RAWR View Post
I see what your saying. But i think that ths is one of those i gotta figure it out on my own kinda situations. you know. Like i can take your word for it, as in if he is to superficial and just look for a persons face rather then heart then its no good. but i think i have to figure that out with him on my own so i have no reason to still like him.
boys can be so lame.
Teenagers do need to make their own mistakes and learn from life experiences...but this probably isn't one of those times. You would be very wise to actually listen to the advice that you solicited.
I was never one of those teenagers that really got into trying to impress people, so I don't get it.
First off, there is a right way to go about losing weight... and it isn't starving or exercising to sheer exhaustion; and it certainly isn't bulimia. I'm not bulimic, but after some hardcore binges, I have been very tempted to purge. What stopped me was knowing that if I start, I probably wouldn't be able to stop and that I would regret the health issues that come with it.

The important life lessons I have learned are:
1. Never change yourself for another person
2. Self esteem is the most valuable asset a person can have
3. People who dislike me because of my size will NEVER be worth my energy or my time
4. There will always be guys; and eventually you will find guys that are of good character and worth your time.

It may not seem like it now, but this guy isn't going to matter to you 5 years from now. ... Most things you do in high school won't matter 5 years from now - except those things that you do that will permanently affect your health. Take good care of your body now, and stop obsessing over vanity issues. If you legitimately need to lose weight, fine; but do it in a healthy manner and do it for yourself.
buckettgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-13-2007, 01:43 PM   #7  
Moderator & Happy Chick
 
Leenie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Northern New Jersey
Posts: 12,125

Height: 5' 10"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lindsy Goes RAWR View Post
I see what your saying. But i think that ths is one of those i gotta figure it out on my own kinda situations. you know.
Hi Lindsy...... may I suggest that before you make your decision, you might want to check out the Chicks on this board.... maybe they can help you.

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=64

I agree... don't lose weight for a man (dime a dozen) lose it for yourself... love yourself first b/4 you love anyone else

Good luck.
Leenie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-2007, 08:26 PM   #8  
Fat and sassy
 
MiddleEye's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 16

Default

God. That post really brought back high school. Ha. I know that you have to make your own mistakes, but causing yourself a chronic condition that you might end up requiring professional help to get rid of is not the best solution. People who develop anorexia or bulimia often find themselves unable to get rid of it.
If you want to get into that lifestyle no one can stop you, but even if you do lose weight and get this boy he's probably going to move on whenever he finds out that you have to vomit after every meal.
I'm sure everyone has already told you this, but if someone doesn't like you for you they're not worth it. In this world there is always going to be another woman with straighter teeth or longer legs or a smaller waist, bigger breasts, whatever and if all your boyfriend cares about is looks he's going to constantly be looking over your shoulder for a better looking woman.
MiddleEye is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-2007, 10:20 PM   #9  
Member
 
jrenzul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Mass
Posts: 33

S/C/G: 231/219/160

Height: 5'2 "

Default

Watch out, Lindsy. Your story could have been mine 23 years ago. Starved myself for 3 months because a guy I liked said I could afford to lose a few pounds. I did need to lose a few, but I took it way too far. I got down to 109, sure, for about 4 months. After I went back to eating the way I always did, it came back, plus some. Now, after 25 years of a sit-down job, a baby, quitting smoking, and a few rocky years of marriage (to a chef, no less), I now weigh 100 pounds more than I did when I first started way back then. Getting weight off because almost impossible, or so it seemed, because I damaged my metabolism during those 3 months. Don't do it. Not that way. Do it slowly, in a healthy way. Eat right, exercise. But do it because you want to be healthy, not for some guy. My husband proved how much he loves me because he is still here even though I put on so much weight. He doesn't nag or criticize me. He's very supportive when I decide it's time to lose. That's what you want-somehow who loves you for you, not for how you look. Looks don't last forever.
jrenzul is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-16-2007, 07:23 PM   #10  
Senior Member
 
spunker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Northeast Ohio
Posts: 102

S/C/G: 224/216/110

Height: 5'1"

Default

Losing weight for anyone but yourself never works, whether it be guy, friend, family, etc. It may "work" temporarily, but not in the long run. It's something you want to do yourself, for yourself, nobody else, regardless of how cliche.

I understand completely the feeling of wanting to lose weight for a guy. But... in the long run, it turns on you.

As for becoming bulimic... run as fast as you can away from it. It won't do you any good. It'll damage you quite quickly. Besides what it'll do you physically (hair falling out, teeth falling out/needing pulled out at a young age, skin, heart arrythmias, death, etc.), it is extremely wearing mentally.

You'll start out thinking you can control it, stop any time you want, but in reality, it will begin to control you (I feel like a textbook). Before you know it, you'll be doing it every day, multiple times a day, skipping things you enjoy to stay home and binge and purge, it'll start iterferring with your responsibilities (ie stop going to school, work, etc.) so you can stay home to binge and purge. You start spending every penny on food and then after your bank account is overdrawn, realize you still have to pay your rent/car payment/insurance, etc.

In fact, while, yes, you can lose weight with bulimia, you can also maintain or gain weight with it. For as many people that lose with it, the same number, if not greater, will maintain their weight; For as many people that lose with it, the same number, if not greater, will gain weight.

Like you said, some situations you do need to find out for yourself, but some things just aren't worth it (ie your body/health/sanity, especially).

I hope in the end that you decide to do what is best and healthiest for you.
spunker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2007, 04:56 AM   #11  
Junior Member
 
anepasor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 22

S/C/G: 212/207/145

Default

From my experience, it should be about you and not to get a boyfriend.

I spent my entire teenage life over 200 lbs. I had many crushes on guys in high school, but they never looked my way. When I started college at 18, I weighed 225 lbs. My first year of college, I had a crush on a football player. I never approached him or let him know about my feelings. I just knew he wouldn't be interested in me because I knew and saw all the girls that he dated. All my crushes seemed to be from afar and unrealistic. After my sophomore year of college when my best (skinny) friend went after another meaningless crush, I was devastated enough to go vegetarian and exercised twice a day (cardio-morning, and weight training-afternoon). I wanted the attention that she always got. Within 5 months I'd lost 75 lbs. Being young, my body bounced back into a healthy size and shape with no lose skin.

I was the same person--funny, kind, and outgoing. However, all these young men who'd known me fat (and all the above) looked at me completely differently. I would get constant phone calls, offers for dates from football players that I'd been attracted to. I went out with a couple of guys, but I wasn't satisfied. I was angry. I was pissed that it took 75lbs off for a boy to consider me as worthy enough for their time when I was internally/mentally the same.

I finally got into a serious relationship with a man that liked me for me, and didn't know of any of my issues with weight, self consciousness, desperation to be thin and attractive. I have been with this man for 12 years, married for 7, and have 2 children with him. I am back at the 225 lbs range--a slow weight gain over those 12 years, but I know that he is there with me through thick and thin.

This should be about you. You should lose weight to be healthy, fit, and do the things girls your age are doing--dating, meeting people, enjoying life. And it shouldn't be for a boy who may not be great for you after all that dangerous sacrifice. Good luck.
anepasor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2007, 08:12 AM   #12  
Senior Member
 
healthytoad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Sunny South!
Posts: 290

Default

I agree, you don't want to lose weight for someone else. That said..there no reason why you can't use him for inspiration Hey I picture skinny jeans when I am working out.. I don't see why you can't picture a cute guy to keep you going up that mountain. Now that said, no one is worth the damage you would do to yourself being bulimic. NO ONE...no matter how adorable they seem at the time. And (to think like a teenager for a moment) who would want to kiss someone who was bulimic?? ewwwww gross!
healthytoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-25-2007, 02:16 AM   #13  
Junior Member
 
NZ Rach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6

S/C/G: 258/244/150

Height: 5ft 9

Default

Totally brought back high school for me too !!

I remember when I was that age, I wouldn't have listened to sage advice if it had knocked me on the head !! In fact... I still don't, but that's not the point !

We can all tell you that a good guy would like you no matter what, but in the end, you'll see this yourself

Rachel.
NZ Rach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-26-2007, 10:35 PM   #14  
Am I there yet?
 
2Fat4myJeans's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 256

S/C/G: 205/197/130

Height: 5'5"

Default

Hi Lindsy, I wish I could give you a big hug! I was much like you in high school - heavier and tried numerous times to starve myself in order to lose weight. I was in love with the football captain and he never even noticed me. His girlfriend was GORGEOUS, thin, basically everything I never felt I would be.

When I was in college, I became anorexic/bulemic and I have spent many years recovering from it, but there is some damage that is irreversible. Losing weight so quickly caused me to develop gallstones and I had to have my gallbladder removed. My metabolism is sooo messed up now, too, that it is extra hard for me to lose weight. All of that really came to a head after my college boyfriend broke up with me. I was devastated. I lost a LOT of weight and finally had the body I always dreamed of... at a price.

Then, I met this guy... and I was happy... and suddenly, I gained all that weight back, plus 30 lbs MORE. But the good thing? I married that guy and he loves me no matter what size. If this guy you like really only digs thin chicks, he is not worth it. I know it's hard to see that now, I'm not sure I would have believed that at 17 either. Because eventually, you will gain weight -whether that's just because you get older and your metabolism slows down, or you have a baby, or whatever - it is important to find someone who loves you for YOU!

It wasn't until I began to love myself and be happy with myself, no matter what I looked like, that I finally started attracting guys. It was my personality, not my 130 lb body that my husband fell in love with (and that's a good thing, because that 130 lb body is a loooong ways off for me now!)

Love yourself first, Lindsy. And just wait until you get to college... it's so much better than high school. There will always be Pommies in your life, but in college you will have the chance to really discover YOU and be your own person. It's such a fun time!
2Fat4myJeans is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2007, 12:12 PM   #15  
Good food on tap...
 
frustratedinfrance's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: france
Posts: 5

Default

Ah well I have a slightly different angle on this (although the theory i totally agree with, my story is just different)

I was at university (this doesn't just happen in high school!) and totally in love with my best mate. He kept having crushes on this tall brunettes with no boobs (I'm short blonde and busty...) so I decided to lose weight, wear heals and... no i didn't dye my hair, but i thought about it i swear.

And i did it! I lost loaaads of weight! I turned up at his place (by this stage we weren't seeing each other at uni anymore) with a brand new figure, ready to discreetly and effectively secure my catch. He actually noticed and said "hey, you've lost weight, you look good!" (wow, i felt on top of the world!) so i just worked on it till i had to come out straight and say something (too corny, I won't repeat that bit).

And he just told me that he just wasn't interested in me that way...

So i took my slimline figure back to the fridge with a great big "what the bleep".

So it's just not worth it. Sometimes we hide behind the size of our thighs to justify not getting the men we want, and think "if i were thinner..." when in fact even thin girls get rejected sometimes...

Life's just not that easy i'm afraid. to come back to the basics : loose the weight if it bothers YOU, but it won't make understanding men any easier, that I promise you

Good luck with him though - my only advice for now would be to act confident - a strut and a head held high always work better than being shy!
frustratedinfrance is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:54 PM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.