[RubyRedEmi]

Hello to you all. I am here to share my story, and find OEA friends and family. My name is Emily, I took step one last night. I have always been heavy and always been an FA, but I would never admit it. I knew it, just wouldn't admit it to myself or others. So last night, while at my best friend's house, I picked up a book called "Anatomy of a food addiction", and Id idn't even get through the introduction part, and it had changed my life, forever. I realized the lady writing the book was me, well not me, but you know what I mean. I could feel her words, I could read them and literally feel her speaking them, as if I was. Then it says "I am a food addict"... I'm thinking, food addict? How can you be addicted to food. Well, I know how. Because I am! My life revolves around it, my moods revolve around it, and I have missed out on so many wonderful life experiences because of food. Food?? I mean, I can see drugs, alcohol, and other eating disorders, but OE? Well, I see it now, my eyes have been opened, and I knew for a long time I needed to get a handle on my "weight", but never said anything about my eating. If that makes sense. I guess this opens a lot of doors for me, while it is quite humbling, it is also very relieving.

I have 2 very young children that I want to be here for. I can't seem to get down and play with them on the floor because I can't get back up! Or outside, I can't chase them like daddy can, or run and play football like daddy can, because I am so out of breath. I want to enjoy life with them, and quit living my life for food!!! It's frustrating and angers me. I used to eat because it made me feel good when I had a bad day, or a bad minute, or a bad second, or even a good day, it was my reward and it was my punishment, it always made me feel good... Problem is... Lately. It doesn't make me feel good anymore! I no longer feel "high" afterwards. I feel as if I drank a ton the day before, I get food hangovers... Horrible... Always tired, always groggy, always so down, and moody!!!!!!!! I always feel like crap, and have realized it's the food I eat. and how much of it I eat. Sad.

So, last night, after reading this book, I went online, and I found a site that has online groups, and I also found a local church and will start face to face meetings on Monday. Every monday at 7 pm. I want to be able to say "I am in control", because I have not felt that in so long I don't remember what it feels like.

Well, that is the beginning of my story. Thank you all for listening.

Emily

[marny]

Welcome Emily.
That you are honest with yourself and others is the first giant step towards recovery--so, congratulations!
Let us know how the meeting goes.

[CrispyMama]

Hi Emily

Thank you for your post. It made me cry, because I feel your pain. I know that pain.

I am a food addict. I have this disease.

I have been struggling since Saturday. Depressed and fighting the food cravings. In fear that any minute I will pick up something I should not eat. Your post helped me more than you can know.

Thank you
Christy

[charlenej]

Hi Emily,

Thank you for sharing and being so honest. Most everyone in OA comes to program with their own version of your story. You are definitely not alone and have found a place to be absolutely honest.

I know very well that food "hangover" feeling and have lived much of my life and most of last year in the fog of it. When I came to program I couldn't imagine living without the food. I still have rough days but they are getting fewer and farther. The freedom from food is now becoming more addicting than the food itself. It's a miracle and a gift!

In OA they say "It works if you work it and you're worth it."

I go to a meeting every Monday at 7pm too. Let us know how it goes

Charlene

[RubyRedEmi]

I wanted to say thank you to all of you, for all of your support. I know you all know how I feel when I say I have felt for a long time as if I were the only one, even though I truly knew I wasn't... But just that alone feeling you get. I am so excited to be part of this and be able to have new friends and family that I can help and get helped. This is a totally new chapter of my life and I am very excited. Thank you all so much!