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mauvaisroux 09-09-2003 07:37 AM

I Feel Good!
 
Good morning everyone!

I did something amazing yesterday.....I said NO!

My boss told me (at 4:40 p.m.) that he needed something done before he left- my workday ends at 5 pm- and it was some personal stuff that he left to the last minute (as usual).

Well I had my WW meeting and I was meeting my friend at Subway as we eat there every Monday before going to WW together. I did not want to stand her up nor did I want to miss my meeting.

I did my best to get it done but he hadn't even given me half the info I need to fill out these forms and finally I went into his office at 5:20 and said I'm sorry but I can't get this done tonight.
He asked why not and I said that I couldn't stay late tonight and he asked why. I told him that I was meeting someone and then going to my class and if it had been any other night I would have stayed. Then I pointed out that he didn't have half the information for the forms and that had I known earlier in the day that he needed it for tonight I would have been able to do it.

Then I left without even saying good night as I was running late.
Oops, how rude! :s:

I will probably pay for it today as he will no doubt still be mad and in a bad mood - but I will deal with that too.

I am very proud of myself for saying no to him as in the past I would not have and would have sat there working in silence and roiling inside with anger, resentment and anxiety.

This was a big step for me. :smug:

sflake 09-09-2003 07:40 AM

Good for you :)

dentrassi 09-09-2003 11:43 AM

YAY MAUVAIS!!!! I am proud of you too!!!! That is a HUGE step to take!!!

ellis 09-09-2003 03:57 PM

Oh my gosh, Mauvais. I am SO proud of you, too!! I can't believe it!! You amazing woman, you!! :dance:
That "man" is the slimiest, low-down creature (did you say he's a lawyer? That would be a snake.) ever. Don't EVER introduce me to him, because I'll give him a piece of my mind that will send him reeling. :mad:

mauvaisroux 09-09-2003 06:40 PM

Thanks everyone! :)

Wildfire 09-09-2003 07:36 PM

Atta girl, Mauvais! :high:

Cerise 09-09-2003 07:46 PM

Mauvais, you were absolutely right to leave...I'm happy that you did it.

Your boss seems to suffer from "rank-ism", where someone is thoughtless, too demanding and officious to a subordinate just because they CAN be. Except that they CAN'T - good on ya for letting him know.

More of the same in the future, I hope?

Rowan Bailey 09-09-2003 08:37 PM

Mauvais....one word that works for all of us!!

BOUNDARIES!!!

Keep it up!!!

twodogmom 09-09-2003 09:47 PM

Good for you Mauvais!!! I am so impressed!!!! I definitely need to take a lesson from you.

mauvaisroux 09-09-2003 09:54 PM

Thanks for the support everyone!

I guess that I am making some progress because in the past I would not have had the nerve to say no - I can't do this.

I had a talk with him today about the whole thing and told him we need better lines of communication so that I know what his priorites are and can rearrange my work around whatever is going on. Things are smoothed over and I feel a bit better about the situation now.

dentrassi 09-09-2003 10:48 PM

YAY MAUVAIS!!!!!!

Cerise 09-09-2003 11:13 PM

Wow, a talk about lines of communication? You are the most mature person ALIIIIIIIVE.

Jennifer 3FC 09-09-2003 11:53 PM

Good for you! Standing up for yourself is so important. You might think it caused conflict, but it most likely gave him a new level of respect for you. Men (that are bosses, anyway) are bad for thinking we can read their mind. I have similar problems with mine as well...he doesn't ask me to stay late, just to have all the answers at my fingertips. D'oh!

Jennifer 3FC 09-09-2003 11:56 PM

Ok, I'm not done yet. Know what else makes me mad? When he has a wierd project to do, or has something he would rather not be bothered with, and just comes to my office and tacks it up on my bulletin board for me. Grrrrr! And when he doesn't do reports, and says 'oh I thought you took care of that'. And when he takes credit for all the things we do right and never says 'Jennifer took care of it,' Ok, I had better stop, or I'll still be writing when you guys wake up for work in the morning!

Merrylegs 09-10-2003 12:18 AM

Good for you, Mauvais...there's nothing rude about being assertive. You don't deserve to be anybody's doormat! Nobody does.


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