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mauvaisroux 08-13-2003 03:23 PM

Scotch and Humour thread
 
Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of
eating Oreos:

1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
4. In little feverous nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10. I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreo.

Your Personality:

1. The whole thing:
This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.

2. One bite at a time:
You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's okay, not to worry, you're normal.

3. Slow and Methodical:
You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with every thing you do to the point of being anal retentive and irritating to others. Stay out of the
fast lane if you're only going to go the speed limit.

4. Feverous Nibbles:
Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do >them. Mental breakdowns and suicides run in your family.
Valium and Ritalin would do you good.


5. Dunked:
Every one likes you because you are always up beat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life. You have a propensity towards narcotic addiction.

6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie:
You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of
your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.

7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie:
You are good at business and take risk that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of
yourself. But that's ok, you don't care, you got yours.

8. Just the cookie, not the inside:
You enjoy pain.

9. I just like to lick them, not eat them:
Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help - immediately.

10. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreo cookies:
You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to up-scale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a prima donna. There's just no pleasing you.

:lol:

Wonder what it means if you enjoy your oreos with a wee dram o' Whiskey? :chin:

Wildfire 08-13-2003 04:32 PM

I am NOT a prima donna! :snooty: I am a queen. :queen:

Hubby is a #1, though he is responsible. He has been known to eat two entire cookies at once. Wonder what that makes him? :lol:

ellis 08-13-2003 05:29 PM

I guess I'm a prima donna. Can't be having two queens; now, can we? :D
However, when I've been forced to eat Oreos, I'm a #7. Practically a mass murderer.

rochemist 08-13-2003 06:14 PM

ME TOO ELLIS!
 
Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie:
You are good at business and take risk that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of
yourself. But that's ok, you don't care, you got yours.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

And I always thought I was so nice leaving all the cookies sans filling for my hubby!

Miss Chris:devil:

Lidian 08-13-2003 09:02 PM

Different methods for different situations...the whole thing at once if I am having one fast in the kitchen before anyone sees me in the cookie tin. Normal bites if I am having a couple, am in the house alone, and am trying not to feel guilty about eating them (hence eating them in a boring way). Twist, then inside, then cookie - instinctive way, hence deviant nature! Little bites and nibbles if having only one (hence guilty) & am trying to make it last.

All of which means...multiple personalities? Seriously conflicted guilt-ridden, angst-filled? A co-dependent cookie eater who bases her Oreo technique upon the presence and/or needs of others (how many should I leave? will they COUNT the Oreos later and KNOW I had some? etc etc)

Ironically, after all this, I don't really care about Oreos - if they are there I like them...but it's chocolate chip cookies that turn MY crank, and they are simpler to deal with than sandwich cookies (multi-layered as they are).

Lidian:)

rochemist 08-13-2003 10:49 PM

Mauvis, You really opened a can of worms girl ;-)

Miss Chris

Ruthxxx 08-18-2003 11:19 AM

Via TallTracy88
 
I usually try not to be too cynical but this one is soooo true!
The Voice of Experience

"Men are like a fine wine.
They start out as grapes, and it's up to women
to stomp the **** out of them until they turn into
something acceptable to have dinner with."

mauvaisroux 08-18-2003 12:24 PM

:lol: Good one!

dentrassi 08-18-2003 11:39 PM

FUNNY!!!!!!!

Goddess Jessica 08-21-2003 11:51 AM

Brain Cramps

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

`````````````````````````````````````````````
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry.
I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
````````````````````````````````````````````````
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
`````````````````````````````````````````````
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
```````````````````````````````````````````````
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``````
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` `````
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` `````
" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another"
--George Bush, US President
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``````````````
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````````````````
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````````````````````````
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``````````````````````
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````````````````
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
--Bill Clinton, President
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````````
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````````````````````
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````````````````````````````
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away.
May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````````````````````````````````````

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will
monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``````````````````````````````````````

dentrassi 08-21-2003 08:12 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

mauvaisroux 08-22-2003 07:54 AM

Those were great Jessica!~ :lol:

mauvaisroux 08-27-2003 07:58 PM

A man and his wife were outside working in the backyard. The man was cleaning the BBQ Grill and the wife was kneeling on the ground pulling weeds from the garden when her husband turned to her and said " Say hon, your butt seems to be getting bigger."

The wife gave him a dirty look and said " I don't think so dear" in a withering tone.

But the husband insisted " Yeah it is. It is almost as wide as this BBQ grill! Look I'll measure it". So he took out his measuring tape and much to his wife's annoyance measured her butt and the grill. "See" said the husband smugly, "I was right, you butt is as big as this grill". His wife pointedly ignored him and continued her gardening.

Later on that night as the couple were settling into bed for the night the husband, feeling frisky, snuggled up to his wife and started stroking her butt.

" Not tonight, dear" said the wife. " Oh come on honey" he whispered in her ear. Whereupon the wife said "I'm not going to fire up this big ole grill just for one little weenie!"

ellis 08-27-2003 08:36 PM

ooooh... that's a good one... snort. :lol:

dentrassi 08-28-2003 02:10 PM

I LOVE that one!!!


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