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blackbird 02-22-2003 08:25 AM

trying to help it all together
 
Hi everyone,
I am new to this (and a few other things) I'm looking for suggestions, support, wisdom, quips, quotes or just anything to keep me (or get me) sane.
I am going into recovery for alcoholism, which has been a life long struggle for me. During the course of my last three year binge I gained around 60 pounds. I have so many things on my plate right now and I don't want to get overwhelmed.
Was just looking to see if you ladies could throw me a bone (all visible fat removed..:) and share what you have.
blackbird :dizzy:

RavenToy 02-22-2003 08:44 AM

Hey blackbird .. I've never fought the addiction to alcohol, but I have fought another type of addiction. I've also battled my weight pretty much my entire life.

Addictions are a scary thing to me. I'm rather a control freak, and so if some *thing* has control over me, it freaks me out. I finally reached a point in my life a few years ago where I made some decision deep inside me that no *THING* was going to control me, that my emotions were not going to control me, that *I* was going to control me. Finis.

I wish I could help you more. Right now I need to lose about 70 pounds, give or take a couple, and I'm working hard to maintain my sense of humor in the face of my daughters blatant skepticism, my courage in the face of the fear I feel at being in shape and feeling sexy, and my determination in the face of my own cravings and feelings of deprivation (ha).

If you need someone to talk to feel free to e-mail me at [email protected]. Like I said, I dont' know that I can help a lot, but I'm right here to lend you encouragement and support if I can!!

ellis 02-22-2003 09:17 AM

Blackbird, you're such an inspiration. It sounds like you're really making an effort to overcome your addiction... good for you!

Like you, I've got about 60 pounds to lose.

The women here are all wonderfully supportive. We all have "issues", and while we may not always be particularly successful at the weight loss thing, we sure do love each other! :D

rochemist 02-22-2003 10:10 AM

As someone who has kicked a nasty drug habit I will tell you food is hardest. You can give up booze and you can give up drugs but you can never give up food. Mostly you can just try to figure out why your soothing your emotions or wants with it. I write in my journal, when I binge I talk about it, and I am currently on Prozac to even out my mood swings. You can also contact me if you need any 1 on 1. This website is a godsend and the diversity of ladies here is a real blessing.

Miss Chris

blackbird 02-22-2003 10:34 AM

Wow! thank you all. I feel very happy right now, what support! I do realize that I need it. I don't have a lot of friends here in the "real" world, I find most women (not all) a bit too catty for my taste and have had a hard time connecting. So, happy Saturday to you all and thank you, thank you.

blessings,
blackbird

ellis 02-22-2003 11:05 AM

Blackbird, some of the girls here are BETTER than "friends in the real world"! :lol: It IS difficult to find good friends! I've realized over the years that some of the friends who amused me or stimulated me mentally weren't "good" friends. And the ones that I used to find dull (well okay, they're still a little dull, but I love them and they love me :D ) are wonderfully supportive and loving. I've always nurtured my friends when they needed me, but if they're not willing to do the same for me, then they're USELESS!! No matter how funny or intelligent they may be.

Come and jump into the other threads with us, too.
And what are you taking at college?

Ruthxxx 02-22-2003 11:40 AM

"and Blackbird sings so merrily from every greenwood tree" is running through my head.
Welcome to the funniest, brattiest, most supportive group of chicks on the site. You will love it here!

Lunula 02-22-2003 12:13 PM

Welcome, Blackbird! Oh... and HUGE kudos to you for undertaking such amazing changes - you really are an inspiration. :)

All I can say is that these forums are most definitely a step in the right direction for you. I'm relatively new myself, but everyone has been so welcoming & supportive - I recently fell off the wagon, so to speak, and I avoided coming here because I guess I was embarassed. But... I made a post, owned up to my binge behaviors, and once that weight was lifted, I felt sooooo much better - and now I'm back on track. It's like magic!! :p

For me, the real power has been finding a group of people that are so different from me in life, yet we all share a common struggle & so many of our experiences are the same. It makes me feel not so darned alone in my life full of size-6 friends, hehe.

Anywho, best of luck and post often to let us know how you are! I have a feeling we'll learn a lot from you!

blackbird 02-22-2003 08:17 PM

Hey Ellis (and all else too)
I'm taking Human Services in school, doesn't pay much but it's so darn interesting. This is only my 4th thank you, but I mean it, truly I do! I've had one heck of a year so far...and...ummm...it's only February. I had one of those so-so days. I worked out on my treadmill for about 30, ate really well this morning...then lunch struck....I ate at the evil Mc. Was in one of those situations where I had to travel somewhere and was hungry.....ever had one of those? Did better tonight...alas...tomorrow is another day.
blessings,
blackbird :crossed:

squeaker 02-23-2003 10:16 AM

Welcome Blackbird! :wave:

All I can think of when I read your name is "Blackbird singing in the dead of night...". I am a huge Beatles fan. :)

You have found a very supportive, very silly bunch. And while it may not always seem like it, we do actually talk about weight loss sometimes. But if you don't lose, we won't kick you out. I would be long gone if we did. ;)

Lidian 02-23-2003 10:17 AM

Welcome Blackbird!

It is great that you are joining us - this is such a great place. I agree that it is very hard to make close friends in the "real" world...I do have friends but not close ones. And the older I get the harder it is (I am 40). Like Chris I rely on my written journal a lot to deal with the overwhelming feelings that used to (sometimes still do ) lead me to candy, cookies, anything sweet. I gave up cigarettes awhile ago (I still miss them) and it was so much easier than giving up certain foods or eating habits...you gotta eat, after all! And the media bombards us with (in ironic succession) pictures of impossibly thin women and ads for enormous amounts of food!

I often get caught somewhere really hungry and nothing packed for a snack, on weekends...when the weather was nice I took apples with me and ate them as I walked, but the winter has been tough. Maybe you could buy a single bagel (cinnamon raisin is great eaten dry - blueberry too) and a couple of apples? Or a frozen yogurt (Yogen Fruz is nice...I had it for lunch once when I was stuck in a museum cafe with a bunch of thin people, and the menu was all mayo-laden sandwiches and heavy stuff - but they did have the Yogen Fruz). I try to tell myself I am going to TAKE CARE of myself, look after myself - as if I was my own mom (My real mom was not very nurturing, possibly this contributes to my need for food, so I try to take her place, in my head, sometimes - if you know what I mean?)

Anyway..sorry to ramble and blather so, I am just really happy you are joining us and to make another new friend!

Lidian

blackbird 02-23-2003 04:25 PM

Hey Squeaker...You're so cool...I did choose my name from that song. I've been listening to the white album quite a bit lately. Do you have a fav. beatle? Me, I like John the best...I think his solo work is the best of any of their projects. Although I like George's stuff very well too.
Lidian...thanks for the support and good ideas about this stinking food issue! I think that planning ahead will help me out in the long run. I have mom issues too...maybe we could wax about that sometime...and maybe not.
blessings.
blackbird

mauvaisroux 02-23-2003 09:08 PM

Welcome Blackbird!

That is so great that you are taking steps to overcome your addiction. My mother in law was a functioning alcoholic for years and then quit drinking and got her life together. She eventually went back to school and became a rehab specialist and worked as a counselor at a drug and alcohol treatment centre. She was a wonderful and amazing woman.

You can do this and if you ever need to talk or vent about anything this is a great place with a great bunch of women who are all very supportive of each other and have great senses of humor :dizzy:.

I know what you mean about people in the real world - it is difficult to find women who are not catty or competitive with each other or that you have common interests with.

Good luck!

dentrassi 02-23-2003 11:38 PM

Hi Blackbird!!!!
It is GREAT that you are getting your life together!!! You certainly have my admiration! I have different issues, but I know how hard it is to work on yourself and get out of those ruts.

Squeak-YES!! Take those broken wings and learn to fly.........

I'm a Beatle fanatic too. I had different favorites at different times in my life. Had my first sexual dream about Paul (I was 6), relate to John and married George. (Private joke...some people have said my hubby looks like him.....or did when his hair was longer!!!) I actually saw them when I was 9 years old.
Couldn't HEAR them over the screaming, but saw them!!!!

Lidian 02-25-2003 01:35 PM

I always picked guys who looked like the Beatles - especially John and/or George (my DH looks like them too, and I make sure his hair is on the long side, the way I like it, cuz I cut it for him...or rather cut it as little as possible!!). I love the Beatles and have done since I was 7... That's when I got hold of the Sgt Pepper album.

Den, lucky you to see them (if not hear them!) - where did you see them?

Lidian


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