Hi everyone. I'm new here but I'm pretty sure this is where I belong. Anyway I've been struggling on how to ask this question for a long time. Hopefully this doesn't get too long.
I have a lot of wonderful, strong, inspiring female friends - feminists with a capitol F. And I love them but some of them have been less than supportive about my loosing weight. They are not big girls and this isn't related to jealously, but I think they look down on me for caving in to dominate ideals of beauty.
For example, I had some car trouble and had to stay over at a friends house for the night. At around 10pm she brought out some snacks. Nothing too unhealthy but I had already eaten all I planned to for the day and didn't want any. However, when I refused she got annoyed and asked if I was turning into one of those weight-obsessed girls in her office that won't eat after 6pm, I had to lie and say it would keep me from getting to sleep. Its soo frustrating to have to hide my eating habits almost as if I had an eating disorder when really I've just started a healthy lifestyle.
The thing is I *do* agree with a lot of what they say. It annoys me too that there are 50 sitcoms on American TV with a fat husband married to a thin and pretty wife because god-forbid a size-8 women be allowed on our television screens. Its not fair that fat men are perceived differently than fat women. Its not right that I had to lose almost 30 pounds to start to feel sexy again because all women- all people- should be allowed to feel sexy. But that is how it is for me right now and I'm tired of feeling guilty about it.
Do any of you ever get this reaction from your friends? Or feel like losing weight and thinking this much about your appearance is somehow anti-feminist? I don't think it is, but I feel strangely guilty a lot of the time. And I do feel so much more feminine now - its really strange.